Talk Nerdy To Me: Did you know cats can be allergic to people?
We regularly perform allergy testing on dogs and cats. One of the allergens we test is human dander. Human dander is the small flaky pieces of skin, hair, and other materials that we all shed 24 hours a day. These flakes float through the air and are also on every piece of furniture and clothing in your home no matter how well you vacuum and clean.
#ThatAmazingMomentWhen: I got stopped at TSA because of my dildo ... (did I mention this happened twice?)
By the time he began unzipping (this was only as far as he had gotten at this point), I paused him.
"Sir, I would like to go to the additional screening room," I said loudly.
One, because I'm pretty certain he was hard of hearing and two, because I wanted to be firm.
He looked confused at my request.
"This isn't for me," I explained. "It's for you."
#TrueStory: I took one of my childhood idols as my date to her own movie screening at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery
Never one to back down from a dream or goal I want to accomplish, I clicked CONTACT Cinespia's page typing into the form that I wanted to attend with one of the stars of the film and wondered if there were any tickets left.
Emphasis on "wanting" to attend.
Yes, Rachel and I are legit friends, and I planned on inviting her ... but I also hadn't gotten that far yet and had ZERO confirmation if she would even be okay with this. All I had texted her up until this point was asking if she was available on that night (which she was).
#TBT: That time I accidentally met Robin Williams ... while stalking @EnriqueIglesias
I then walked off the elevator and into the pool area sans any sort of guard or checkin (like she promised).
When you're crashing something, all you have to do is look like you have a deliberate purpose. I couldn't just walk in and ask "WHERE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE?" I had to play it cool, and first act like I belonged there.
#NerdsUnite: Three deaths in 30 days ... I sent condolences to the aunt, but when do I get to say "uncle?"
I want to challenge myself with something I've never done before. Instead of writing out what happened next in this series of posts ... I want to write it in reverse chronological order. The reason why this is challenging for me is because I have a photographic memory and when I write I can (with the help of headphones) completely relive my life experiences. I've never done it backwards, but considering how "upside down I feel" it seems appropriate.
#BurningMan: That time I discovered the center of the universe and two days later my g-spot (PT 3 ... definitely #NSFW)
I then grabbed my phone (which happened to be right next to the center of the universe) and began recording a video (for shits and giggles just for us to have of what this bag actually looked like whenever we were sober again).
"IT LOOKS LIKE THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE," I said in a shrill high pitch, POUNDING the couch cushion (which had been turned into a bed) "and I love how the center of the universe appeared in a backpack to two people in an RV at Burning Man."
#BurningMan: The release from intention detention (what Burning Man is actually like PT 2)
A big part of Burning Man is setting your intention going in, and mine was to find a husband. Albeit you can start a family without marriage, but as someone who is old-fashioned, it was something I definitely wanted. Inching closer to my middle 30s means that I have to start to make very serious decisions about my still (for now) fertile future.
I've purposefully spent the last year working on myself (as it takes two to tango and if I want an actual "man" I have to be a "woman" myself) making sure my side of the street was clean.
I can't confirm that I'm 100% there yet, but my friends were ready and willing to help in the process.
#BurningMan: That time being called a Virgin Burner was a "good thing" (kinda NSFW)
Besides, just because I made the decision to go to the Burn, didn't actually mean that I had any sort of ticket. Did I mention how difficult tickets are to get? (I actually learned that they release 50,000 tickets to any sort of "camp" that creates art ... tell you more about that in a second ... and the other around 30,000 to people who just want to attend.)
#RealDeal: What's your fantasy (that time I catfished a celebrity only to be catfished myself the next day)?
Wanting to shake things up a bit, I asked if he was any good at skeeball.
"I don't know how to play," he admitted.
"Let me teach you," I said.
Six games, a 100 point rim shot, and 380 score later, the student had become the master.
#NerdsUnite: That time I got stiffed (instead of getting something stiff)
Review after review spoke really ill of him. One review directly called him a "bully" and what a "horror he was to work for." Clearly, these are just disgruntled employees, I thought thinking the person I had just talked to seemed far from being a "bully." Depending upon how the date goes, I will tell him about his ORM (online reputation management) and offer help (if he asks), I thought.