#BurningMan: That time I discovered the center of the universe and two days later my g-spot (PT 3 ... definitely #NSFW)
I then grabbed my phone (which happened to be right next to the center of the universe) and began recording a video (for shits and giggles just for us to have of what this bag actually looked like whenever we were sober again).
"IT LOOKS LIKE THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE," I said in a shrill high pitch, POUNDING the couch cushion (which had been turned into a bed) "and I love how the center of the universe appeared in a backpack to two people in an RV at Burning Man."
#BurningMan: The release from intention detention (what Burning Man is actually like PT 2)
A big part of Burning Man is setting your intention going in, and mine was to find a husband. Albeit you can start a family without marriage, but as someone who is old-fashioned, it was something I definitely wanted. Inching closer to my middle 30s means that I have to start to make very serious decisions about my still (for now) fertile future.
I've purposefully spent the last year working on myself (as it takes two to tango and if I want an actual "man" I have to be a "woman" myself) making sure my side of the street was clean.
I can't confirm that I'm 100% there yet, but my friends were ready and willing to help in the process.
#BurningMan: That time being called a Virgin Burner was a "good thing" (kinda NSFW)
Besides, just because I made the decision to go to the Burn, didn't actually mean that I had any sort of ticket. Did I mention how difficult tickets are to get? (I actually learned that they release 50,000 tickets to any sort of "camp" that creates art ... tell you more about that in a second ... and the other around 30,000 to people who just want to attend.)
#NerdsUnite: A tale of three acid trips (& one very true story)
I ate a dinner cooked by none other than Patti LaBelle. Independently an AMAZING sentence to write, but to be served soul food from a soul singer while in an EXACT MOMENT I was doing some soul searching ... that was awesome. (It's turkey leg and lima beans ... I'm not sure what else was it in, but it all ended up in my belly.)
#ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You're at a karaoke bar in Koreatown and Kiefer Sutherland walks in ...
See, this is my issue ... based on commercial attraction and mathematical symmetry of my features, I NEVER have a problem getting a dude ... but keeping them from wanting to punch me in the face before the end of the night isn't always easy. I'm EXTREMELY opinionated, and at bars guys genuinely don't care to hear it.
I kept dancing.
Float like the feather, be free and fuck everything else, I thought.
#ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You return to your car only to find out someone has been sleeping in it
I spent about 5 minutes reminiscing about everything that had been and everything that was going to be. The last time I was here I was a naive girl that had just driven cross country for three days with a couple hundred dollars to her name, and an apartment found on craigslist. Since that time, I have not only discovered myself but successfully built a name for myself. I quickly realized this was a pronounced full circle moment.
#ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You meet a guy on a plane and end up staying out with him until 2 am
I continued, the problem though is the fact that we're the ones that also learned to troubleshoot. These next generation of kids have only had an iphone and working internet. We dealt with dial up, and Juno. It's a new playing field.
#DatingDetox: Living the "let go" mentality & appreciating abundance
Remember Antonio? Well, on one of his many adventures in kidnapping me he took me shopping and bought (among clothing since I had literally nothing to wear) a coin necklace. The chain was too short for my taste so I put it on this charm necklace I had from my grandmother. See picture below:
#ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: A meth lab explodes down the street from your dinner party
This is perfect, I said to the group.
We then logged in on a mission to have at least two 10 minute conversations just so we could get on cam and see some penis action.
Here was our first exchange ...
#RealDeal: 1 year ago I got hit in the head with a brick (reflection post)
I decided while I was still in the hospital that no matter WHAT we were still going to do our first stage show (a dream come true for me). Even if I have to be wheeled onto that stage I. Am. Doing. This. I screamed to my producing partner. As long as I am not dead I am going to make this happen.