#NerdsUnite: New Study Reveals Surprising Attractive Trait When Dating
Talk Nerdy To Me’s: @StaffWriter
A new study published by OnePoll and Life Happens insurance (nonprofit organization), revealed a surprising new top trait that potential partners find super attractive when dating.
The surprising trait is financial security.
::laughs:: This is my shocked face.
What exactly is financial security? And why is it so attractive to others?
What Is Financial Security?
Financial security can mean a few different things according to the study. Financial security can mean that the person is financially stable. It can also mean that someone is comfortable with someone else in the relationship making more money than they do.
Another interpretation of financial security is that a person openly talks about financial topics with a potential partner.
Financial security is different from financial stability because you can be financially stable but not necessarily open to discussing money topics with a partner. Or you could be financially secure, but still feel anxious about the topic of who pays for what.
Why Is Financial Security So Attractive?
It's no secret that money can be a big factor in how people date.
So why would people want to date someone financially secure?
People often view money as a taboo topic, so it might initially seem weird that financial security is the top trait when dating. However, "Not being able to comfortably talk about or handle money" is considered one of the most unattractive traits when dating.
In other words, there's a difference between being open and honest about our financial situation and feeling anxious and guilty about discussing it. The former makes you attractive, while the latter is frowned upon by others. Why? It shows that you're mature enough to not be embarrassed by your financial problems. It shows that you're level-headed enough to not freak out about money.
Level-Headedness And Financial Security
Once again, not being able to comfortably talk about or handle money is an unattractive quality when dating. This means that people are attracted to those who can calmly discuss their financial situation with others, instead of feeling embarrassed and ashamed about their income.
It might seem like common sense at this point, but someone who doesn't feel nervous discussing their financial situation is more attractive because of their emotional maturity.
It also shows a certain degree of experience and understanding.
For example, you can easily imagine someone who feels embarrassed about their low income turning down a date with someone because they make more money than they do. It's not exactly attractive or admirable to turn down an offer for a date over money.
On the other hand, if someone can talk openly and comfortably about their financial situation with another person (i.e., "I don't make much compared to others"), it shows that they are level-headed enough to handle financial problems without freaking out.
They are financially secure enough to have this conversation without being nervous or ashamed of how much money they make.
It's important for people on dates, especially initial dates, to be open and comfortable discussing their finances (to an appropriate degree) rather than feeling embarrassed.
Of course, you don't need to bring your bank account information to a first date.
In early dating, talking broadly about finances is probably fine. The longer the relationship and the deeper the commitment, the more you should probably discuss financial issues.
Signs That Someone Is Financially Secure
What are some other signs that someone is financially secure?
Here are some of the most common traits of financially secure people:
They make their own money decisions without involving their partner
They don't feel uncomfortable when discussing financial topics
They openly talk about money
They can handle disagreements about spending
Because they aren't ashamed or embarrassed about their finances, these four traits indicate a certain degree of emotional maturity and comfort about personal finance.
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone like this, congratulations! You've got yourself a keeper.
How To Become Financially Secure
If you are not already financially secure, how do you develop this ultra-attractive trait?
The first step is to get your financial life in order. This means balancing your checkbook, paying off at least some of your debt, and making a budget.
You can't get control of the situation if you don't have complete information about where all your money goes each month. Building a budget will also help you see how much wiggle room you have for new expenses.
As part of building a budget, think about ways that you could save money on a regular basis. Even small savings add up over time and make a difference in the long run.
Once you get your finances in order, it's time to develop comfort with talking about your finances.
You can do that by getting used to talking about your financial situation with friends and family. It's not exactly easy to jump right in, but if you start telling people what you earn and how much debt you have, it will slowly get easier over time.
As a result of getting comfortable talking about money, you will be less embarrassed about the topic when dating.
It also makes it more likely that both parties on a date will talk openly about their financial experiences. This way, there won't be any awkwardness when the subject comes up.
Don't Share Too Much Financial Information Too Soon
Financial security is good, financial oversharing is bad. Be careful not to swing too far in the opposite direction by sharing too much about your finances too soon. You could be labeled as money-focused or naive.
Neither of those extremes is an attractive trait.
Also, don't tell someone on a first date that you make $100,000 per year. That may be fine for some people, but the truth is that there are many other financial factors to consider when deciding whether to date someone financially secure.
You may want to think twice before mentioning your annual income at this point in the dating process. It's just too soon for one person to know what another makes.
Final Thoughts
In this day and age, finding someone financially secure is a wonderful but rare trait in a partner. When combined with emotional intelligence and maturity, it makes for a very attractive partner indeed.
However, before you start to panic about finding your financial soulmate, remember that developing this trait is possible for anyone.
All you must do is commit yourself to getting out of debt and building a budget. Then, practice talking about money with friends until it feels comfortable.
After that, sit back and enjoy the privileges of dating with zero doubt or shame about your finances.
