I have facial blindness yet I am EXCELLENT at recognizing people (here’s how I do it)
Last week, I recognized my friend in a magazine even though his face was entirely covered with the group’s iconic makeup.
He’s a member of the Blue Man Group.
I know now I don’t recognize people by their faces (which is pretty mind blowing 🤯😩).
I recognize people via their auras and some other form of hyper-connectivity (both of which are caused by synesthesia).
Here’s what auras looks like:
And here’s what all this means:
Maestro …
Up until a year ago, I had never heard of facial blindness, nor even knew this was “a thing.” It wasn’t until I saw an article regarding Brad Pitt that I wondered if I too have what they were describing.
I then googled “Autism and Facial Blindness” and found out that people on the spectrum are very often found as having difficulty recognizing people’s faces.
Just because it’s “very often found” didn’t mean I was going to immediately jump to that conclusion.
I took it as another little tidbit that may or may not be helpful.
Later that week, I then talked to my laser scientist friend (who holds the patent for light based GPS that helped the Mars Rover land on Mars) and presented my findings.
“I might have facial blindness,” I admitted over a round at our favorite watering hole, “but I don’t think the word fits what it is (or at least in terms of how I experience it).”
My laser scientist friend has been there through all of the labels I now happily place on myself (autistic, synesthesia, dyslexic, hyperlexic, ADHD, and prosopagnosia aka facial blindness).
He isn’t as “into” labels as I am, (because once you OWN THE PATENT for light based GPS does any other label REALLY matter?!) but is nevertheless a great sounding board.
“What does that mean?” he asked.
“Well, I know I don’t recognize people by their faces, I recognize them by their auras. I know I see faces, like they exist, but there’s a chip missing. Sometimes people’s faces, no matter how many times I meet them ‘just don’t click.’ It’s always been a thing, and sometimes very embarrassing. I developed the ‘its nice to see you again’ even if it feels like the first time I’ve met someone.
“However, with the majority of people, I consider myself a hawk, and or someone with an eagle eye. BECAUSE I don’t recognize people by their faces, their face can be totally obstructed and I’ll still recognize them. There’s a lack that my brain somehow found a work around that gives me this (I don’t know how else to say it) “special skill” at recognizing people.
“If I was born with (let’s just say) a weakened receptor it would make sense that because of synesthesia and it’s hyper-connectivity that it would just remap it in a way that feels like a super human strength.
“It’s like how I now know I am dyslexic but because I have hyperlexia I overcompensate for the ‘letters and numbers jumping’ making me an EXCELLENT reader.”
<editorsnote> Hyperlexia is a fascination with letters and numbers. People with hyperlexia have an innate ability to decode or sound out words very quickly and are commonly known as “super readers”. They generally have a very good auditory and visual memory. </editorsnote>
I caught myself in real time having an IRL “A-HA” moment.
This is how I was unable to recognize Robin Williams when I had an intimate conversation with him, yet was able to recognize our mutual friend half way down the street on a moving bus.
ONE OF THE MOST BELOVED AND RECOGNIZABLE CELEBRITIES EVEN STILL TO THIS DAY …
… and I didn’t recognize him.
It was just me, Robin, and his then wife.
LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE.
“You and your experiences,” he said chuckling.
“I always found that very strange,” I said “but never had an explanation for it.”
“It seems like your findings might be showing you the explanation,” he said in his cryptic yet motivational manner.
“How could you not recognize Robin Williams?” (My friend is very aware that I openly call myself a pop culture historian.)
Pulling my best Sophia Petrillo impression, I said “picture it Beverly Hills 2004/2005. I was living in an apartment that cost $400 (my portion) and shared a bedroom with a woman who I fast became friends with. She worked the pool at the Four Seasons and one day said ‘if there’s anyone you ever want to meet, let me know and I can see what I can do.’
She knew that I was an expert at keeping my cool while crashing things as she and I had just crashed the Spiderman 2 afterparty.
The only man that I thought to mention was my then crush-of-my-life Enrique Iglesias.
You can read the full story here, but bottom line is, Enrique did happen to frequent the hotel, and one fateful evening my friend and roommate “happened to look the other way,” so I could walk in (without her letting me in which could result in her getting fired).
I confidently walked in but then quickly realized I had no game plan.
Nervously, I walked over to the pool and chatted up the lovely couple sitting next to me and tried my best to keep my cool by the pool.
“Hello,” I said in an immediate attempt to make friends. “Come here often?” (I actually said this.)
“Yes,” said the mild mannered and very hairy man.
“Me too,” I said with slight arrogance.
I then made five minutes of small talk with the couple who looked like they were on vacation from North Dakota. The woman didn’t say anything, but the man and I had a lovely chat. As we were speaking, I couldn’t help but stare down at his chest; it was so hairy … which I found VERY appealing.
Focus off the follicles, Friel, I thought to myself.
You came here for one thing …
… and he can run … he can hide … BUT HE CAN’T ESCAPE MY LOVE!
That’s an actual quote from this song …
Obsession with hair, btw, is an autism trait that I wasn’t aware of (since I was almost two decades away from diagnosis).
Robin William’s chest hair was like the supermodel for all other chest hair.
It had a density and shape to it that was unlike anything I have ever seen before.
Getting my head back in the game, I then walked over to the gym and saw a shirtless man on the lat machine.
Five swaggered steps later, I realized it was the man I admired and lusted after for most of my teenage years.
Now, if you thought my 19 year old self walked up to him confessing my UNDYING, TRUE LOVE and the fact that I wanted to have all of his babies … you would be wrong.
If you thought my 19 year old self walked up to him and told him that I was a huge fan, had a big crush on him and wanted to have sex with him … you would also be wrong.
If you thought my 19 year old self completely froze like a deer in headlights at the sight of such beauty, and immediately bolted the property … you would be …
I ran out of that pool and gym area like my FEET WERE ON FIRE.
He was so hot, I didn’t know what to do with it!!!
I felt a tap on my shoulder as I hit the elevator button (satisfied about literally going down since there would be no other type of going down that night).
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TALKED TO HIM!!!” my friend said in a loud whisper.
Confused, I confessed, “I didn’t talk to him. I was too scared.”
“Oh yeah,” she said, “I saw you fail in front of Enrique, I’m more impressed with how you kept your cool in front of Robin Williams.”
“I MET ROBIN WILLIAMS?” I screamed loudly in shock.
“Yeah, that’s who was sitting by the pool. They left right after you got up.”
I couldn’t find the exact date on this photo, but this is what Robin and his then wife producer Marsha Garces looked like in 2004 …
Robin Williams was nothing like I thought he would be. He was very mild mannered, soft spoken, and had a sweetness to him that OOZED a very kind and generous spirit.
“I’m not an expert on facial blindness, but it does sound like this is a strong possibility for you. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t recognize Robin Williams,” my laser scientist friend said factually and not trying to rub anything in.
A few weeks later, I had another session with my therapist (the one who initially diagnosed me with synesthesia). I told her what I had just found out, and about my experience with Robin Williams.
“Yes, it does sound like you have a form of facial blindness,” she said. “There’s not a lot of information on it, but you can speak to a neurologist about it.”
“Thank you,” I said happy to have some sort of confirmation.
“I get Robin Williams, but how did you recognize your friend half way down the street from a moving bus?” she asked shocked.
“I don’t know how I do it, I just now know I CAN do it.”
This is the text that I sent my friend after it happened:
I wish that there was more information out there, but I hope that this post helps anyone who is even REMOTELY thinking they’re in the same situation.
These skills TRULY ARE A SUPER POWER once you can learn to self regulate and harness them. Every day I’m discovering more and more and while at times it can be overwhelming, it is also SUCH. A. RELIEF. TO. BE. ABLE. TO. TALK. ABOUT. IT.
And I finally have the strength to do it.
