#NerdsUnite: How To Recover from Toxic Relationships

Talk Nerdy To Me’s @StaffWriter:

It's not always easy to realize when you are in a toxic relationship. Sometimes, it can be hard to notice the warning signs. However, there are some definite things that should make you think twice about your relationship if they come up often enough.

Does this sound familiar?

Love is blind, and sometimes relationships can get so complicated that you don't realize what you've been through until it is over.

In this article, we'll cover how to recover from toxic relationships.

Some of these may seem a bit drastic but remember that the toxicity has probably been going on for a long time.

Process Your Emotions from the Relationship

Breaking away from a toxic relationship can be hard.

You may feel angry or hurt, confused, betrayed and any number of other intense emotions when you are in one.

One of the most important things to do during this time is to process your emotions. Write down your thoughts. Talk about it with friends. Get into therapy if that would help you trust yourself again.

Be sure that you give yourself time and space to heal emotionally once you've cut ties with this person or group of people who were harming you.

Discover What You Learned from The Relationship

Toxic relationships often teach us some good lessons, even if we didn't intend for them to happen that way at all. Toxic people will say and do anything they think might bring them closer to what they want. They may even fake their empathy or compassion to get their way.

This is the opposite of how healthy relationships work, but it's important to learn here, too.

Be sure that you pay attention to how these people manipulated you into believing that they were different than they actually were. Make note of the behaviors that caused you stress and learn from them so that you can move forward with your life without falling prey again.

Think About What You Want Out of Your Life Going Forward

When you're in a toxic relationship, it can be easy to lose sight of where you are going. The only thing that matters when you're in one is whether this person will love you back —when they don't, things can seem bleak.

A toxic relationship is a distraction from what you should actually be focused on in life. Once you leave it behind, try to think about what you really want out of your future.

Do you want to get married? Have a family? Start a business? Pay down all your debt? Whatever it is that would make for a healthier and happier life, go after that goal with everything in you.

Build New Healthy Connections

One of the best things about leaving a toxic relationship is that you suddenly have time for friends and family without the stress of manipulating them to be your support system.

It's important at this stage in your life to build new healthy connections with people who will love and care for you unconditionally. You deserve happiness, so do what it takes to find it.

Retrain Your Brain

It's no secret that relationships can trigger intense emotions in us. One of the biggest dangers any of us face is when we get comfortable with being treated poorly so that it feels normal to us.

Going forward from a toxic relationship, you need to retrain your brain to understand what a healthy one looks like.

Pay attention to how people treat you and compare them against others you've dated in the past - think about whether they're good for you or not.

Be sure that you give yourself time and space to heal emotionally once you've cut ties with this person or group of people who were harming you.

Don't Rush into a New Relationship

In order for these things to work, you have got to take some time away from dating completely, or at least until you are 100 percent certain that these new habits are part of your routine.

If you plunge right back into it, chances are, you'll fall back into the same relationship patterns again.

Give Yourself Time to Heal

When a toxic relationship ends, suddenly there is this huge open spot in your life where that person used to be. It's important to give yourself time and space to fill that hole with something positive.

Reach out for support if you're feeling overwhelmed by all the changes in your life during this stage—friends and family will be thrilled to help you heal through it!

Change Your Social Media Behavior

Social media is a commonplace for toxic people to maintain contact with you after the relationship has ended.

This might be because they're looking to get back together (hint: that isn't going to end well), or it could be that they want revenge on you for leaving them. Whatever their reason may be, don't let yourself go down that path again.

The only thing social media should be used for in this case is networking and keeping up to date with your friends, family, etc. Nothing more. Make a promise to cut all ties with these toxic people if they appear online anywhere near you—blocking them goes a long way, too.

Learn To Love Yourself

This isn't just about feeling good enough for someone else because you are good enough for yourself. You must learn to love yourself again because that's where you were before this person started disrespecting you and making you feel unworthy.

Reflect on your own greatest. Be still within yourself.

Give yourself permission to fall madly in love with the beauty inside of you. And then give that same permission to someone else when you're ready for a new relationship.

Final Thoughts

The best part about leaving a toxic relationship is the tools necessary to attract something better into your life.

It takes time, attention, effort, patience, and (most importantly) real love to build a healthy relationship with someone else. So, stop looking for shortcuts. Put yourself on the path towards happiness by taking these steps today!

Remember: There is no shame in being single. Being alone is better than being involved with "toxic" people who are not good for you or your happiness.