Can Texting Ruin a Relationship?

Apr 19

Talk Nerdy To Me’s @StaffWriter:

Texting is a major part of relationships. Texting can help us connect, stay in touch, prevent problems, and create opportunities for relationships to thrive.

However, texting can also mess up relationships. In fact, texting can even ruin relationships.

Texting can ruin relationships because of all the reasons listed below in this article.

Texting Can Replace Physical Contact

Texting doesn't allow for any physical contact or visuals. This can make a relationship feel like it is lacking something and cause the other person to lose interest and get bored.

Texting Makes Lying Easier

It allows people to lie about their whereabouts, which causes you not to know where they are or who they're with when they go out alone. This can make partners suspicious of things that they might not have been suspicious about otherwise.

Texting Can Lead To Misunderstandings

Sudden changes in texts from one person to another without explanation can be misinterpreted as being dropped by someone. This can lead to feelings of betrayal, rejection, and insecurity.

Texting Can Result in Unintended Embarrassment

Texting can lead to embarrassment when a private text between two people in a relationship gets accidentally sent to the public. This could cause a lot of trouble and might be the end of the relationship.

Texting Can Get Emotionally Messy

The loss of phone privileges as a consequence can lead to miscommunication, false assumptions, and frustration if one person thinks that the other is purposely not responding. This is also a big problem with couples who are married or have children together.

Texting Limits Communication

Texting takes away from quality time between two people in a relationship because it replaces actual interaction with virtual interactions. There's no touching involved when texting. There's no eye contact either.

Most texting involves short interactions.

This limits communication between two people in a couple. When you get together in person, you typically spend hours or an entire day together. Texting can start and end within a few minutes.

Texting Can Display Neediness

For example, if someone needs to get in touch with their significant other all the time (I.E. checking up on them multiple times, calling them when they're not with you, etc.), it can be annoying and make your partner feel like they need to get away from you. Neediness is unattractive and will likely cause problems in your relationship.

Texting Chemistry Is Different Than In-Person Chemistry

Texting chemistry is not necessarily the same chemistry we have with someone in person. This difference can cause confusion and frustration in relationships. If this happens, it's time to have an in-person conversation with your significant other.

It's important to work out if you will be able to move a texting relationship into a real relationship.

Texting Is Not a Substitute for Real Connection

People in a relationship typically need to communicate, solve problems together, support each other, and feel loved by their partner in order for a relationship to work out long term. Texting is poor for all of these things. If you rely on texting to address these serious relationship issues, you're headed for disaster. That's why texting probably will ruin your relationship in the long term. However, it can even cause issues beyond repair when used for this purpose in the short term.

Texting Can Impede On Other Priorities

Texting partners can feel jealous or upset if their significant other spends a lot of time texting with another person. This jealousy and avoidance are major reasons why texting can ruin relationships.

In relationships, it's helpful to keep priorities straight. Each partner wants to know that their partner values them.

Texting Can Make Relationship Struggles Worse

As you can see, texting can lead to lots of relationship struggles. Texting can also make existing issues worse. For example, if your partner is mad at you, texting can add to the anger and frustration.

An angry partner might get angrier if you don't respond to their texts promptly. They might also not like short replies.

Texting can make things worse when a person in a couple gets mad at the other and starts texting about it instead of addressing it face-to-face. This makes a significant issue worse because a partner might be ignoring their phone as they go about their day, which makes them unavailable for an important conversation.

As a result, many have called for people to put down their phones and pay more attention to each other.

How Likely Is Texting To Ruin Relationships?

Some think that texting is a good replacement for actual interaction because you can keep in touch with someone easily without having to go through the trouble of calling them all the time. Others think it's pointless and not worth their time.

Texting is likely to ruin relationships when:

The relationship is new (Under 1 month)
The relationship is on rocky ground (there are other issues)
The relationship is long distance

However, texting is unlikely to be the main reason for the unraveling of solid long-term relationships. This is because long-term relationships are more likely to survive without much contact (at least temporarily).

Stronger relationships already come with a foundation of communication, problem-solving, and affection. So if you're able to handle all of this, text away!

Overall, texting is more likely to cause problems with shorter relationships where emotions are running high and there are other major issues.

If you already have some big issues in your relationship that are jeopardizing its strength, then texting can make that worse.

Tips To Prevent Texting From Ruining Your Relationship

Here are some tips on how to keep texting from ruining your relationship:

Establish texting expectations as early. as possible in the relationship.
Inform your partner when you'll be unavailable to text or take calls.
Let your partner know where you'll be and when you'll be back. This will avoid suspicion of infidelity on both parts.
If one person is more experienced than the other with using SMS language, such as abbreviations, then teach that person what they mean so there aren't any misunderstandings about what was meant by a word, phrase, or sentence.
Don't text during the time you're supposed to be sharing together. If it's date night, put the phone away and don't check messages until afterward.
Don't be afraid to ask your partner what they meant by something if it bothers you. Instead of assuming, find out for sure.
If physical contact is important in your relationship with someone, make sure to maintain it with texting too. Sometimes people might forget that they can still do things like sending virtual hugs and kisses to show affection.