#WTF: About the last 48 hours ... Can I get a rundown? (macbook pro retina, Aston Martin, monogamy, slave)

Alrite, so I guess I didn't take my own advice and "take it easy" because the last 24-36 hours have been anything but. 

So, I landed on Wednesday and was COMPLETELY exhausted from my trip back east. The holidays in general are so draining with all the activity, the bullshit lines at the airport, and the hassle of trying to figure out how to get from point A to B in a new city. As much as I love DC and LOVE getting to visit my brother and do cool things like have lunch at the Pentagon, my family and I all agreed that that was our last Christmas up there for the next few years. 

<tangent> Two things though about the trip that were kinda funny: 

1) My diamond tears from Monster headphones totally got me in trouble at the Pentagon. 

- The pentagon is a SUPER confusing place, and the heightened tension from wondering if I was "in the right place" causes me to get extremely, extremely edgy. I made it into the Pentagon alrite. I had a lovely lunch with my brother followed by a super fancy pants tour. He was then walking me out and told me to just go back the way that I came and I'd be able to find my way. Not a problem, I said giving him a big hug. I then took off the "visitor escort required" badge they give you and walked out of the pentagon. 

I then put on my diamond tears headphones and put on "Don't Stop The Party" by my future baby daddy Pitbull. I made a left to go out past security followed by two rights which was the EXACT manner in which I entered. 

I then see this guy dressed in civilian clothing motion to me to turn around.

I comply and am IMMEDIATELY grabbed by a security guard. 

MA'AM he shouts, I've been screaming at you. You can't walk this direction. You HAVE to leave down that sidewalk. 

Can I still get to the little tunnel, I ask him? 

He stares at me like I'm an idiot. 

Yes. He says sternly, but you can't go that way unless you have a pass. Do you have a pass? 

No, I say. I'm just leaving. 

He continues to point motioning for me to leave. 

I laugh as I look down at my watch and notice it only took me an hour and a half to get yelled at by someone at the Pentagon. New personal record I think as I crank back up my tunes. 

2) A dude on a TV show that my brother is obsessed with asked me to have his children. True Story. 

My brother and I were sitting around watching some movie over the holidays, and throughout the entire flick my phone kept going off. I finally answered one of the texts and almost spit out my drink. 

What is it, asked my brother? 

Do you watch the show, exwhyzee? 

Yeah, he said, I love it. 

Well, you know the character eniemeanieminiemo? 

Yeah, he said. 

He just asked me to have his children. 

WHAT?! asked my brother grabbing my cell. 

He then read some of his text as he got up to refill his drink. 

Do you think you could ask him for an autograph, he asked? (My brother has NEVER asked me for anyone's autograph before. He's Mr. Washington DC. He could not care LESS!) 

Dude, screw the autograph. Take my phone and just keep texting him! 

I then texted him and warned him that it was my brother and not me. 

The two went back and forth for a bit. The actor even being kind enough to share a photo of him on set filming some movie. 

I then take the phone back and keep texting. 

Thanks for that, I say. He's a big fan of the show. 

Not a problem, he wrote back as we continued to text. 

(This dude and I have been dating for a few months but he kinda annoys me. I'm VERY much a do-er and this guy is all talk. It's EXTREMELY frustrating. I don't get people like that.) 

Either way, cool moment, and definitely gave me LOADS of brownie points with my brother. </tangent> 

After I landed on Wednesday I grabbed a Super Shuttle and headed back home collapsing on the couch as I arrived. 

I'm.

So. 

Tired. 

I then got a Facebook email from my buddy Tim who was in town visiting family. 

We still on for later? he asked. 

See, anytime I'm ever traveling, or anytime you guys are - you can ALWAYS hit me up in social media if you wanna grab a drink. I'm INCREDIBLY grateful for all of you reading, so I make it an UNBELIEVABLE priority in my life to make sure I give you all some of that time back. 

In this moment, however, I was extremely tired. 

Yes, I said. But can we meet for soda and not drinks? I might fall asleep in my beer. 

Not a problem, he said messaging me back. 

We then met up at one of my favorite West Hollywood spots. 

We kicked it for about a half hour before I admitted my exhaustion. 

Dude, I gotta get some sleep, I said. 

We then high fived and hugged as we went on our merry ways. 

Thursday was more of the same. I had a few meetings then had to run a ton of errands. Then at about 7:30 I got hit up by my manager who was having dinner down the street from me. 

Want to come by? he asked. 

Sure, I said. 

<tangent> My manager is a nutso. He's EXTREMELY blunt and radically honest about EVERYTHING. 

This is why we get along so well. </tangent>

Hello, I say greeting him and his friend at the bar. 

I then went into a bit of my back story as my manager had teed me up. 

We then all started talking about relationships and the topic of monogamy came up. 

I don't know if I believe in monogamy, I admitted. 

What do you mean? Asked the guys. 

I meet person after person at bars, parties, really anywhere ... and when I find out they are married I ask the same two questions, "is it what you thought it would be, and are you happy?" 

Most of the people I have talked to have admitted that they're not happy and it's not at all what they expected. 

How can one little ring on a finger suppress our animalistic tendencies? I could totally see myself being in an open marriage. I want my husband to be happy with whatever that means. As long as we are open and communicative during the process I have seen it TREMENDOUSLY heighten the relationships of couples. 

I'm not saying it's the only way to go, and the only way I am going to know is by a first hand experience, but I can say I am very open to it and I have seen FIRST HAND my friends be so much happier because of it. 

Men and women need to feel wanted by the opposite sex so what's wrong with exploring that? It'll keep you on your toes while in the marriage and remind you to never take your partner for granted. 

The men could see my side, but the conversation quickly changed as our super attractive waitress approached. 

Case in point, I thought. 

Then, Friday morning I woke up early and headed to Hollywood for an appointment at ReaniMac.

<tangent> I'm working with this new start up and in my contract I put in that I wanted a new macbook pro retina. See, their new site is HEAVY on graphics and video so it made sense to go for the best in regards to dealing with the visuals. My buddy and the developer that I brought on to the project also got one. 

We were very very very happy campers and Truman is the MAN!!!!!!!!! The dude is a super genius and will answer ALL of your questions while giving you hands down the best deal ever on your devices. He will have my business forever and ever. TRUTH!!! </tangent> 

I spent about an hour at ReaniMac and on our way out the dude funding the site helped me with the computers. 

Where are you parked, he asked? 

I smile. 

I take the city bus, I admitted but I was just going to cab it back so no one tried to rob me. 

He starts laughing. Get in the car. 

He then unlocks his vehicle and it's an Aston Martin. 

Of course this is what you drive, I thought to myself. 

I then struggled to figure out the door handle. 

Where is it?!?! I thought. 

I then bent over and noticed that the handle was actually molded into the vehicle and you had to push one of the corners of it in to get the handle to open. 

So cool, I thought. 

I then get in the car as I am handed the 15" Macbook pro retinas. 

He starts to drive as I laugh at myself and this lifestyle. 

It's Friday morning at 11 am and I am now riding in an Aston Martin with not one, but TWO Macbook Pro retinas on my lap. HOW is this real life?!?!?!? 

I laugh as I compliment him on his ride and thank him for the computers. 

Not a problem, he said. Play around with them and let's talk next week. 

Great, I said getting out of the car and walking into my apartment. 

I then hopped in the shower and got a text from my buddy (the developer that is getting the other macbook pro). 

Are you home, it asked. 

Yes, I texted back from the shower. Come by. 

GREAT!! He texted back. 

I quickly popped out of the shower and got dressed before he arrived. 

He came in more excited than a kid on Christmas.

This is GREAT!!!! It's so pretty!!! 

I know, I said. This project is going to be AWESOME to work on. 

We then talked a bit about next steps for moving forward and then I informed him that unfortunately I had to get going. 

I have a slave coming by at 1:30 and I have to finish getting ready. 
You have a slave coming by? asked my friend. Of COURSE you do, Jen. 

I smiled as I continued to do my hair and put on some make up. 

I then prepped my feet with a freshly painted pedicure and some lotion as I placed on my super sch-exy new shoes. 

My slave then arrived a few minutes later with his hood on. 

<tangent> This is the first slave I had and one of my favorites. He gives the BEST massages and is responsible for getting me into this world in the first place. He's into objectification, humiliation and like me, he is slightly sadistic. </tangent> 

He had emailed me prior reminding him what he was into, but said at the end of the day it was obviously all my call. 

I'm going to ignore you today, I emailed back referencing my new macbook pro retina that was FAR more interesting than dealing with a stupid slave. 

For about the next hour he proceeded to massage my very tired feet. 

I posted about it on Facebook ... 

click the screenshot to read the comments on Facebook

After I was done with the slave I then shooed him away telling him we would speak soon. 

I really want to explore being a better domme, I thought. There have to be classes or something I can take to learn better domination techniques. 

<tangent> Again, NONE of what I do with my slaves is sexual - it's ALLLLLLL psychological. These dudes are all SUPER fancy pants and almost all of them have super important jobs that they want an escape from. It's SO fascinating. </tangent> 

Then, as if the universe heard me, I got an email from a very old dear friend I worked with on a start up back in 2007. 

Don't judge me, said the title of the email. 

This is going to be GREAT, I thought!!! 

I opened up the email and he informed me of this new company he was doing web work for. I've attached the press release, it read. 

I scroll down and in BIIIGGGG bold letters see ... 

SHERI’S RANCH LAUNCHES SEXUAL FANTASY ROLE PLAYING EXPERIENCE WITH “SHERI’S PLAYLAND”

Legal Nevada brothel lets clients live out their fantasies in detail

OMG, I thought reading the email. This is SO spectacular. 

I then notice that one of the fantasies available includes domination. 

YES YES YES!!! I thought!! I can learn from a true domme here!!! This is going to be GREAT!!!! 

I then emailed my buddy back and asked if I could spend a few days there exploring their world in exchange for writing about it. 

Who better to learn from than a domme working at a brothel in FREAKING VEGAS?!?!?! 

Let me see what I can do, replied back my buddy. 

ANNNNDDD NOOOWWW, we wait. 

Actually, I take that back. I really need to go and do laundry. I should get a house slave for this crap. Anyone want to apply? 

#thatisall