#NerdsUnite: When is it appropriate to invite a date back to your place?

Dec 29

So, it's Saturday night.

What am I doing?

Watching Celebrity Ghost Stories on Bio and avoiding a guy that I've been texting.

(It's the Top 25 scariest moments btw and I'm getting my freak freaked!!!)

Backstory: This guy and I have exchanged a few emails on an online dating site, and finally began texting each other last night.

His correspondences were quirky and cute. I could tell right off the bat this dude was an insanely free spirit.

FTR: Like energy doesn't always attract in that type of scenario. I'm a COMPLETELY free spirit and I have never wanted to date someone like me. You need balance when it comes to dating, IMHO. If I'm the free spirit I have to date the dude that is extremely logical and grounded so I have something to come back to. We can't both be flitting about in the air or we'll both just fly apart from each other. I'm not saying it's a complete no to dating artistic types, I'm just saying there has to be an extreme balance.

Not sure where this dude fit into the spectrum, I figured why not give him a shot!

Are you free tonight? he texted.

No, I said. I'm just going to write and get a good night's sleep. I'm still recovering from the holidays. Let's talk tomorrow afternoon, I texted back.

Then this afternoon, he texted again indicating that he wasn't free but could be free later in the evening if I wanted.

Great, I said. 8 pm. Let's do drinks in Santa Monica.

His reply was this ...

I didn't respond back.

Why?

BECAUSE IT IS A FIRST DATE!!!

Never ... Never ... Never ... and I truly mean NEVVVEEERRRRRR invite a girl back to your place for a first date.

In today's societal norms, the "let's grab dinner at a movie at my place" is a very clear indication of sex. Yes, there are certain instances that you might not have enough cash between now and payday and are in a jam, but RESCHEDULE!!!

This dude is very obviously just looking to hook up.

I'm not mad at it, I've been there too. ::cough cough love me some fuck buddies:: But now? Not so much.

I'd be slightly less offended even if he just admitted that he wasn't looking for anything other than sex.

I would have kindly said thanks but no thanks, but to that? I just didn't respond.

I can hear you all asking now ... but when is it okay to bring a girl back to my place?

Third date.

First date should be a drink (coffee if you don't drink).

Second date should be dinner. Spend some time getting to know the person, ask all the important questions.

Then on the third date AT THE EARLIEST can you offer to cook at your place and "put on a movie." Obvi, every chick ever will know that "put on a movie" really means "put your hands on me" but as long as she is agreeing to the date, she will know what to expect.

This is SO not okay!!!!

This dude is now filed away into the creeper category and will be inserted in my phone with the dreaded contact label: Do Not Answer

Sad panda.