#WTF: A dude that I met at #sdcc for 10 minutes during his bachelor party just called to say the wedding is off

Aug 1

OMG, I am totally not even kidding. For reals ... no words. Here's my best attempt. ::deep breath::

Alrite, so remember the last night I was at Comic Con - I had met up with this duderino from Wired and when my roomie wanted to leave we walked downstairs and bumped into a group of dudes who claimed to be soccer players from Spain, only come to find out they were actually having a bachelor party? (Read more here)

Well, the duderino that was actually the bachelor (I didn't know), started talking to me ... asking what I did ... blah blah blah. Told him that I run a site, the name was Talk Nerdy To Me, Lover - and that I barter social media to live and conduct social experiments. Nahhhhhhh, he said. BS. I gave him my card, and BAM while my roomie and I were walking back to the car he actually emailed me.

So flash forward about 24 hours, and the duderino actually like emails emails me. I present to you our actual conversation:

So, we went back and forth for a bit. He was asking me how old I was, I said 26 - he said he was 24. I then laughed thinking no wonder you shot me this weird look when we were in San Diego and I said 26 was too young to be married. People gotta find themselves, man. True true true thing.

Either way, he then sends me this ...

WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING JEN FRIEL!!! STOP IT!! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! STOP THOSE FINGERS FROM TYPING!!! JUST STOP ... STOP ... STOP IT!!!

The emails went on a bit. He basically said he would implode if he had to be in one place, and in one situation for too long. I then realized with a heavy heart, and a roommate that just got out of a broken engagement that I couldn't take this conversation anymore. He then asked me what kinda music I listened to, wanting to change things up - and I didn't reply back.

That ladies and germie men was 5 days ago.

Last night, after watching Entourage on HBO, I got this email ...

Okey dokey, lemme just clear something out of the way first though - to say this dude is hot is like the understatement of the century. Hot was defined around Pete Cashmore and this dude.

For reals ... look at Pete ...

See why I crashed the 2010 Grammys to meet him? Ah-mazing ... so delicious ... want to touch the hiney.

Alrite. Simmer donna Jen Jen. So Pete's like an 11 on a scale of hotness - this duderino is like a 10.75 with strong potential to be an 11. Seriously ... take Pete, and add in one part Notebook Ryan Gosling ...

and another part Paul Walker ... like hot Paul Walker ...

This dude is HANDS DOWN one of the most commercially attractive people I have ever seen in my entire life. For reals, he's like too hot - you can't stare at him too long or you might burn your eyes. See, I stole this from his Facebook page ... SHHHHHH!!

He's too sexy, and in fact I'm not entirely unconvinced this song doesn't start playing when he enters a room:

He's beyond beautiful, has a shit ton of pictures of him flying off bridges, firing guns - and other equally weird shit. So yeah - lemme just throw that out there that THIS DUDE IS FUCKING GORGEOUS. Jesus, Mary, and I wanna have a threesome with Joseph - fuckerdy the things I would do to this dude.

So, that happened. About an hour later he calls me ...

Me: Dude, what happened?

Him: It's kind of a long story.

Me: I'm ready ...

Him: It started on Friday, I had left my Facebook page open, and she found an old email from a girlfriend of mine.

Me: Girlfriend? or girl friend?

Him: This girl is engaged now, and also in the military. We've been friends forever - but she didn't understand how Facebook threads emails and she scrolled all the way to the top and read a flirtatious email she sent me years ago.

Me: Ouch.

Him: She then FREAKED out, grabbed my motorcycle, military issued weapon, the dog, and some of her stuff and headed to her parents house.

Me: Oh, this sounds like it's going to get good ...

Him: She then logged onto her Facebook account at their house, and updated her status from "engaged" to "single" without even saying a single word to me.

Me: What?!

Him: Yeah, and her parents are crazy too. They took all weekend to give me my gun, and bike back - I had to call the cops. She COMPLETELY freaked out.

Me: Alrite, that sounds ... well, insane. But you were going to marry this girl? She freaked out like that over one innoncent email sent years before you guys started dating? Wait, how long have you been together?

Him: 3 years. This was before that.

Me: Alrite, then consider it a close call. This girl is seriously off her rocker, and now you're not going to have to marry that. I'm really sorry dude. I gotta admit though, I'm super super super grateful you didn't message me to say that the wedding was off because of us talking. I REALLY don't need any more bad dating karma.

Him: She's crazy for sure. She wasn't even really my type - I hate blonds.

Me: Wait, WHAAATT is coming out of your mouth right now?!?! You were going to marry this chick, and she wasn't your type? Hold the Jerry Springer - you are both bat shit.

Him: Well, there was also one other thing I didn't tell you ... the military doubles your pay when you're married, and they allow you special privileges; this is the real reason why so many military guys get married - they make it super easy for us.

Me: That's insane ... but makes perfect sense. Wow. Gnarly. Did you love her?

Him: I thought I did. I certainly didn't expect that kinda reaction from her; but I guess my point in all of this is that I'd like to take you out.

Me: Shut the front door, dude, you need to go out and spread your seed. You and I do not need to hang out. HAHAHA, you're 24, and I am the LAST person you want to start anything with. (103 dates in 9 months ... anyone? anyone?)

Him: Lunch. Can I take you to lunch?

Lunch? It sounded like enough of a non-date date to me ...

Me: Lunch. This week.

Him: Done, I'll call you soon.

I am now having lunch this week with a guy that I met having his bachelor party at Comic Con - and now 5 days later the wedding is off a cool 7 days before the ceremony was supposed to take place.

What.

The.

Fuck.

I will let you all know more as it unfolds. HAHAHAHA this is nuts!! Consider the friggen source!! If I say something is nuts, man you KNOOOOWWW it must be crazy. This is going to be good ... OMMMMGGGG I am going to go to hell, hahahahaha straight to fucking hell. Where do these people come from? And why do they tell me their life story?? Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

That's nuts though that she freaked out and updated her Facebook status before even talking to him? Seriously?? This chick was that emotionally unbalanced and she was planning on getting married? And what's with him even being with her for 3 years in the first place when she wasn't even his type? Wow! This is gnarly that the military sort of indirectly allures the youngins to get married like that. Fucking crazy, man. THIS ENTIRE STORY IS INSANE!!!!! I am very much looking forward to this lunch if for no other reason find out more on this dude. What kinda guy attracts a girl like that and stays with her for 3 years. You KNOOOWW this wasn't her first freak out moment. For your sake duderino, I hope the sex was good - damn good. Only justifiable reason for being with someone like that. AHHHH I can't wait to hear more!!! BAHHH!!