#TrueStory: Backpacking + Dating = Bad News Bears
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Lindsay. She's crazy ... and bat shit ... and I love her for it! For reals, she hitchhiked across various African countries!!! The girl is a whackadoodle noodle, but not at all a nerd. That is where I come in handy- I'm Lindsay's navigator on adventures. See, I show her how we get places via google maps, and she reminds me to stop tweeting and look up every once in a while. It's a match made in nerdy/non-nerdy heaven. That being saiiiddddddd ... she lives her life on the road and wants to offer her travel advice to all the nerdy folk out there that may be looking to do the same. Hit it Lindsay!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Lindsay MC
My then boyfriend and I stayed at an amazingly romantic camping hostel in Figline, Italy. We took a bus through the Tuscan countryside to an little town where we were picked up by a miniature train to take us to the hostel grounds. There was a sparkling pool, picnic tables shaded by olive trees, a country store with local cheese and wine and even a lantern lit restaurant. The ‘rooms‘ were little bungalows and couples sat outside, strumming acoustic guitars and drinking red wine surrounded by citronella candle light. During the day, we could rent a bike and explore the nearby town, take a vineyard tour, go horseback riding or even just lounge at the pool that overlooked the rolling hills of Tuscany... and maybe we would have, if we hadn’t spent all of our time fighting with each other- Insanely Important Lesson ... Don’t Date and Backpack.
The most efficient way to ruin a perfectly good relationship is to take it overseas. Add sleep deprivation, a super strict ‘backpacker‘ budget and a possible language barrier and you might as well register yourself on OkCupid before you even leave home. Along my travels, I have met a number of couples backpacking together- some of them seemed blissfully happy and some of them were at wits end. After talking with them and learning from my own experience, I think there are definitely ways to make a relationship travel friendly... you just have to put a little more thought and effort into it before hand.
1.) You need space even when you’re 3,000 miles away from home. If you don’t spend every waking moment with your significant other at home, why would you expect to spend every waking moment with them abroad (and not want to kill them?) Allow for some time a part. This actually ended up being a really good thing for my then boyfriend and I while we were staying at a hostel in Rome. He went a bar to watch a World Cup game with the other hostel guests and I wanted to get some sleep. I woke up to a staff member of the hostel routing through peoples things. I guess he didn’t see me sleeping in the corner bed, nothing ended up being taken but we checked out of the hostel that night. I will be posting about Sketchy Hostels to Definitely NOT Stay In... but that’s a different day.
2.) Have a Communal Travel Fund. There are few things more frustrating than spending money when you don’t want to (he needs to sit down and eat big meals three times a day and you are happy snacking) or not being able to do what you want because of money (you want to go to an art museum, he doesn’t want to pay the entry fee) which is why any couple traveling together should have Communal Travel Fund and talk about budgeting before you hit the road. Each person puts money into the fund that money is used for hostels, meals together, admission fees and transportation costs. By making necessary costs ‘We’re in it together’ instead of a individual ‘My budget, Your budget,’ so you can fight about where to eat and what you want to do instead of dollar amounts- which is always nice.
3.) Have fun! Traveling is a great way to see the best in your girlfriend or boyfriend even with the unexpected frustrations. Try to make the best out of crappy situations and when temperaments begin to flare, don’t feel stuck with each other just because you’re in a different country. Take some space and try again. The new things you learn about each other and the memories you make can ultimately strengthen your bond and help you appreciate each other even more.
Now I don’t necessarily think that backpacking was the reason for my pervious relationship demise, it was more of a catalyst, expediting the inevitable. However, I do think that I have now learned enough to keep us at least on speaking terms until the flight home next time. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see until after I travel with a new boyfriend and report back... but don’t hold your breath.
Good luck out there! =)
#nerdsunite
