#NerdsUnite: Confident, Not Cocky
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan; he's a dating coach. Wait, not like "a" dating coach ... lemme rephrase that, he is THE dating coach. He has a show on SiriusXM called "Game On" and he's a super smarty pants when it comes to examining social dynamics. No ... like for real. HIT IT JORDAN!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger
Everyone knows that women love confident men. The problem is that many guys, in their attempt to come across as confident and self-assured, fail to distinguish being confident from being a cocky asshole.
You may have good looks, a sense of humor, quick wit and intelligence, but if you don’t have confidence and self-esteem, you won’t have sex appeal.
Your physical presence demonstrates your comfort in a room, shows your involvement in a conversation and displays your masculinity to those around you. Three aspects that are relatively easy to do are working on your eye contact, having good posture and relaxing the way your body moves.
Eye contact may feel unnatural or awkward to you at first because it’s relatively intimidating. When you’re trying to keep eye contact to demonstrate your confidence, remember that eye contact is not staring at someone’s eyes. It is a connection. The last thing you want to do is lock eyes and bore holes through their heads or you’ll come off as threatening.
When you think of the most confident guy you’ve seen in movies, chances are he’s someone who has great posture. A slouched, downward-looking person is not convincingly confident, so having good posture is directly linked to whether others perceive you as being confident. Take notice of how you stand in your next interaction or conversation. Practice having good posture until it becomes a natural part of your presence.
If you have a commanding, confident presence but don’t have the abundance mentality or mindset of a high-value person, you’ll come across as slightly disingenuous, insecure and cocky. A high-value man knows he’s a person others like to being around and owns it. He doesn’t brag. He just shows it off through how he interacts with others. A high-value man has dealt with his self-doubt and image problems like a man, making him all the sexier.
Know the difference between confidence and cockiness. Confident men know themselves and stand tall because of it. Cocky men haven’t figured out who they are but do everything they can to come across as someone who has.
A solid, connected, defined sense of self is the kind that vibes with everyone. It’s confident.
If you’re coming across as cocky, you probably haven’t spent enough time trying to get to know yourself. Doing this can turn you into the sexy, confident man you’ve always wanted to be.
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Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company, as well as the co-host of 'Go Legendary', a men's lifestyle & social dynamics talk show. If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm Team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com