#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (so you trimmed pot, eh?)

Cool Shit

Feb 28

It is my goal for 2013 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life.

Here's a question I got on Facebook this morning ...

First of all, high-larious that that's how you found this site! Many thanks for the read and reaching out - even funnier that I was JUST telling this story in a meeting earlier this week.

(Click here to read the story about how I trimmed pot)

So, as you guys know from reading the story, when you get pot it is in these little bunches that you break up and then put in some sort of paper or apparatus and smoke.

Well, pot doesn't magically grow in those travel sizes. It starts like this ...

and by the time you see it it is like this ...

The in-between is processed by a group of people called "trimmers."

To become a "trimmer" you must ...

1) know someone with a pot farm.

2) be really really good friends with them as this is a HIGHLY trust worthy experience (theft in this game is super high. pun intended).

3) be prepared to be arrested.

I was told over and over by my buddy that before we went up there, there was a 90% chance we were going to get arrested. At any given moment over pot farms (even legal ones) there are helicopters and cops on foot monitoring all of the activity occurring.

I remember getting in the car at the undisclosed location, and getting the rundown ... It wasn't an "if" but a "when" we get arrested ...

When you get arrested, stay quiet, he instructed. Don't tell them your name, don't say anything. We have an attorney that is going to get you out immediately and the worst that will happen is that you will have to stay there overnight.

They had recommended getting a medicinal card before agreeing to trim since there are legalities in that that can actually save your bum, but because of the short notice it wasn't going to happen.

If you're STILL kosher at that point with the whole you might become besties with Bubba or Betty The Babe, your next step in understanding the process is having an expectation of the conditions.

It. Is. Podunk. where the pot farms actually are.

Having grown up bopping around in the woods as a kid, I ADORED being in such a rustic setting but its def not for everyone. There is no "off" button in something like trimming. Depending obvi on the farm and the conditions, but from what I understand my experience was extremely standard. You basically live in either a shack/ cabin or tent of some sort and you wake up in the woods, eat breakfast camp style cooking whatever you can find, shower with whatever running water is available (remember it's not warm water) and use whatever facility is available for the restroom.

Remember: Toilet paper brought from home is your best friend.

How is the day spent?

In a workspace with (depending on how big the farm is) 5-15 other trimmers.

In my case, it was cool because they were from all around the world, so hearing so many native tongues interested me, but mostly people just keep to themselves. I listened to The Secret and other motivational tapes as I relaxed and literally spent all day just trimming trimming trimming.

It comes in big bags (which is also someone else's job to sleep in a tent and cut down the pot to go into the bags in the first place) and every person is given a designated amount.

I can't say exactly how much I got paid, but other friends of mine that have done it have made BANK and stocked away some SERIOUS cash spending a few months in northern Cali just trimming away.

It's a super cool life experience. I'd go insane without wifi or solid electricity in general, but if you're rustic and mellow enough to vibe with it, I say do it dude! Save some cash, hear some stories, and enjoy the peace and quiet.

When you're on the farm, pretty much all you do is eat, sleep, poop, trim pot, repeat. Again, be prepared outside of hiking there's not much else to do up there ... unless of course you get arrested, but SERIOUSLY make sure whoever hires you has a plan of action on getting you out - otherwise, make sure you have a lawyer on speed dial and the cash available to pay him/her.