#ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You get accosted by a dude with a mullet
Oh dear god that was high-larious.
Maestro ...
So, obvi I am in Vegas for CES. Nerd mecca right?
Yeah, wrong.
Not for me anyway. I get SUPPPPEERRRRRR overwhelmed in crowds and genuinely LOATHE having to tour the floor. It's you and 200K of your not so closest friends bumping uglies and PEOPLE CANNOT WALK!! There are so many sights and sounds, and people turn into these invalent freaks of nature that are incapable of putting on foot in front of the other without stopping every 2 seconds.
It's a cluster fuck. Period end of sentence, and I CAN'T STAND IT!!!!!
What I do love about CES though is meeting more of you loverly people and getting to network and talk to new potential sponsorships. The community in general at these conferences inspires and enlightens me but the floor DRIVES ME INSANE!!!!
That being said ... I popped down there this morning to play around with some of the toys.
It only took me two hours before I was totally overwhelmed and seeking an escape route.
<tangent> Also too, you have to conserve your energy at conferences. You can't get exhausted on the floor and expect people to get excited to talk to you at all the dinner and late night meetings that go on. </tangent>
I walked out of the conference center and put on my monster diamond tears headphones.
I then reached down to grab my iphone and cue up songza.
Not only is songza curated based on your emotion or time of the day, but also your activity. I hadn't seen anything in the immediate concierge that struck my fancy so I flipped over to their "explore" tab to scroll through and find what I wanted.
I paused for a moment standing next to this big column and scanned the results. All of them were pretty awesome and extremely specific, but I was in the mood to listen to something S&M orientated. I had just gotten done talking to my buddy Ben about my day tomorrow at the Sheri's Ranch (SO FREAKING EXCITED) and I wanted to see if songza had anything applicable since I'm getting a little sick of my other playlist.
As I was typing in search keywords like "s&m" "dominatrix" and "sex" I saw a playlist calld Private Dance.
This is PERFECT, I thought.
Then, literally out of no where, and before I could hit play, I hear someone say close to me "put some clothes on."
I look up and notice no one else around me except this weird looking dude with a mullet.
I then looked down at my outfit and was confused.
Sure my dress isn't exactly the longest one that I own, but is this guy for REAL?
My normal nerd self stood there for a moment and wanted to just brush it off thinking this dude is a whack job.
<tangent> BTW I am the WORST person to ever get in an argument with. I will never ever ever fight back or sling an insult at someone. It's just not my scene. Instead I remain extremely calm and start asking neutral questions to negate the scenario all together. It's the fastest way to piss someone off more sometimes, but if you can execute it correctly you will also be able to just remove yourself from the scenario which is always the best thing to do anyway. Never EVER take anything personal in life, nerds. I learned that from reading The Four Agreements after getting hit in the head with the brick.</tangent>
My normal nerd self, however, was not present in that scenario. I was getting into domme mode and you do NOT talk to a domme like that if you want to live.
I take EXTREME pleasure right now in making my slaves cry, so for this dude to get away with something like that was so not kosher for passover.
I took a breath and walked over to him.
Excuse me, I said a foot away from his face. Were you talking to me?
He took one look at me and BOLTED.
I started laughing.
It's called r-e-s-p-e-c-t mother fucker. Be grateful I didn't make you bow and kiss my boot.
Yep, I think I'm very very very ready for my visit with the dommes tomorrow at Sheri's Ranch.
This is going to be SOOOO MUUCHHHH FUNNNNNN!!!!!
They're picking me up at 9:30am Pacific Time and I'll be live tweeting for most of the day. Here's my twitter account if you want to follow along. YAY LIFE!!!
