#NerdsUnite: Tips for calming your nerves before a big date

DatingLife

Jan 6

Hi friends.

So, last night I had a date. Now mind you, with my level of socialization and serial dating-ness, one would assume so what!!? It's just another one?!!

The problem with this date was the fact that I had actually met this guy before and accidentally had messaged him on OKC not connecting the dots. I was totally blown away by the fact that it was him.

Either way, I immediately liked this dude when I met him so finding out that he was not only single but also into me sent me on a one way ticket to nervous town.

<tangent> I get ridiculously clumsy and spacey when I'm nervous btw. I'll keep dropping things, or say something that makes ABSOLUTELY no sense. The awkwardness of youth clearly still lingers. </tangent>

Here were some tips on how I survived the day ...

1) Purchase a new outfit for the date.

There is NOTHING like rocking a new dress or a new outfit for a big date. When you feel like a million bucks IT SHOWS!!! People are naturally more drawn to you and that in and of itself is obviously very appealing on a first date.

New dress: Check.

2) Reach out to your social network.

After I got the dress I then tried it on with at least 10 different sweater combinations. (It's sleeveless on one side and WAY too cold to rock on a night like last night.) Once I had paired the perfect outfit I then sat down on the couch and turned on Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami.

Yep, not kidding.

Mindless television, I thought. I just need something to zone out to.

The only problem though with the ADD brain and nerves is that you CAN'T just "zone out." My eyes were racing to the clock every 5 minutes as I kept finding reasons to get up from the couch.

I then stared over at my Macbook Pro Retina and wondered if I could post on it.

I figured this guy would at least check to see if he had been written about either on this site or in my social feeds since I do document dating. Do I run the risk of letting him know that I'm nervous, I wondered. Wouldn't that give him the upper hand in the power dynamic?

Fuck it, I thought. I preach transparency and I preach extreme honesty so I am just going to go with it.

I then updated my Facebook status to this ...

What did I get in return?

Within a matter of seconds comments started POOOUURRRIINNNNGGG in with people offering their advice ...

Almost immediately my nerves started to calm down having people offer not only their advice but wonderful well wishes for my evening.

Reaching out to social network: Check

3) Go to the gym.

After over an hour of sitting on the couch responding to everything, I then decided it was time to get up and out of the house. I need the gym right now, I thought. I need to lift some weights and get in a SERIOUS cardio kick. There's nothing like getting out of your head and into your body in moments of anxiety.

I then went to my spin class an hour early and lifted some weights at the gym.

(also hit a new personal record by leg pressing 179 lbs. jigga jigga jigga!!)

My gym is famous for their spin classes so for that entire hour my brain was COMPLETELY shut off and I was in a zen state of pain and pleasure.

My nerves at that point were the LAST thing on my mind so having that time to "breathe" was refreshing.

Gym: Check.

Bonus points: I saw Jeff Probst at my gym yesterday. Super short duderino.

4) Occupy your time with work.

I'm working on this SUPER cool new startup right now (that I can't talk about but will GUARANTEE the most INSANE adventures for the next foreseeable future. Dudes, I'm staying in a MASSIVE luxury condo in Vegas for CES WITH A FRIGGEN STRIPPER POLE!!!! We are going to throw some epic, epic, parties. More on that in a few though ...), and I had to meet with some people to get their 1099s and copies of IDs. I emailed the group and asked if we could meet up right by the location of my date so that I could be with them working literally right up until I had to go.

Everyone was totally cool with it, and after I got back from the gym, showered, and got ready I was rocking and rolling with some new ideas for the group.

I then looked down at my watch and I only had 5 minutes to spare before my big date.

I high fived the team as I collected all the 1099s.

Thanks for this, I said to the group.

For the ENTIRE hour I barely thought once about my date. Obviously everyone teased me about being nervous.

You? One guy said. How are YOU nervous? Shouldn't HE be the nervous one?

I laughed.

Occupy time with work: Check.

I then walked across the street and met my date over by the bar. After my entire afternoon and all those steps I carried myself in a calm, cool, and collected manner. I never once tripped, or said anything stupid (obvi that's subject to interpretation, but to the best of my knowledge).

And how did the date go?

That's for me to know, and not write about.

Remember how I said I was working on intimacy? I'm practicing what I'm preaching. =)

See, I learned a lot from my last go round at the rodeo.

Thanks for all the support yesterday nerderinos!! xoxoxo