#NerdsUnite: I can haz scared (update on Antonio)

Jul 29

It's funny … I said I wasn't going to document my courtship with Antonio out of respect yet here I am … talking again.

I can't shut up about this guy. This all feels very different.

Anywho, well hello from Venice. I'm currently writing this from Antonio's bed while he's away. He kidnapped me on Thursday after I had a meeting and I haven't been home since. (Having spent so much of the last year as a nomad I can't say I dislike it.) There's this overwhelming sense of calm with him. Because he's so successful in business he doesn't have a lot of time to bullshit anything in his personal life. He wants what he wants when he wants it and being the object of someone's affection like this is unbelievably refreshing.

Over the last few days I have been meeting a series of his friends. It started on Friday when we went down to the Del Mar race track for a work event he had. I did the whole Politician's wife thing shaking hands, and smiling not saying anything about who I was or if he and I were together. I've never been to the horse races before but psychologically it invokes this vision of opulence, and excess. In reality, it had a Vegas like "electric energy" to it peppered with some of the slimiest looking people I've ever seen. It was … dodgy.

Either way, we did the meet and greet thing for a few hours and I had to try my best to not talk about anything that I do. Antonio genuinely doesn't care what I write about, but my openness and public life isn't exactly something he wants advertised. I totally get it … but it was HIGH-LARIOUS because I was on rapid fire steering all of the conversations back to the person I had just met. People LOVE talking about themselves so you'd think this would be easy - but not being a naturally inquisitive person in general, it was kind of odd.

That is a great way btw to get people to like you immediately - just keep asking questions about their life. Go 5% deeper than surface level (like when someone says they have a dog always ask to see a picture).

I don't even know what to say anymore. There are no games, no bullshit. He brings me coffee in bed every morning and we haven't even had sex yet. There's so much respect!!!!!! He tells me all the time that I carry myself like a queen which is hilarious because I've intentionally barely worn make up around him and am rocking hoodies and shorts mostly.

He just … feels so familiar.

I'm an extreme loner so for me to even be ABLE to be around a guy for so many days at a time is strange. When he left this morning for his trip I was visibly upset - I didn't want to leave him. I'm STILL at his freaking house because everything smells like him. It's only DATE TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

His friends are all so lovely, and speak so highly of him … he's like a dream. I've become so jaded in regards to dating that I genuinely didn't believe guys like this were still out there. Maybe it's his age (we have over a decade and some change between us), or maybe it's just who he is but he has this heart of GOLD and is a SHARK all at the same time.

Dudes, he nearly RIPPED the taxi cab driver for taking a call while we were headed back to Venice on Friday night. He explained to him that he had precious cargo and he didn't want the driver to be distracted. He wasn't at all being a dick either, he's just EXTREMELY matter of fact. It takes SO MUCH charm btw to be able to pull off something like that.

He's so resourceful too. He tips all the people you're supposed to so that we never wait in a line ... he keeps an eye on my drink at all times so my glass is never empty ... and anytime I've needed clothing (since he doesn't exactly give me notice to pack) he takes me to the store. Everything is just taken care of with him on a physical and emotional level. All very strange. I keep staring at him waiting for the other shoe to drop but meeting his friends and co-workers this weekend only solidified the fact that he's genuinely one of the greatest people I have ever met (let alone DATE!!!).

This is different. This is different. This is different.

This all feels so … different.

Please handle my heart with care.