#Rules of Sexting: To sext or not to sext, that is the question!

Jun 19

Oh dear god, I just got a sext ... unsolicited.

So, obvi, I post my life online. This is great for me because I cut out the bullshit "how you doing" conversations with everyone - and really get to the heart of things with people 100% of the time, always.

The downside of this dynamic, however, is the fact that people genuinely think that they know you and think they can text you anything ... at anytime.

Normally I don't respond - simply laugh to myself and move on ... but this afternoon's latest attempt was pretty intense.

Read ...

I had to black out some of the info to not identify the freak a leak ... but this is not okay. I don't care if you're someone like myself who posts their life online, or even just some random chick you met at a bar - do not under ANY set of circumstances EVER text a chick like this.

You will IMMEDIATELY be placed in the creeper file which basically means no pussy ... ever.

The rules of sexting are as follows:

1) Prior to said sexting session, one must either have already had sex with the party, or be about to have sex with the party.

Sexting can be GREAT foreplay. Think about it, you're at work grinding away, and your love muffin drops you a note reminding you about last night, or the adventure you're about to partake in! It's SUPER FREAKING HOT but only reserved for that special person. Sexting is NOT cybering and should NEVER be sent out at random.

2) Keep sexts short and sweet.

Sexting isn't a romance novel. Keep all sexts short and to the point. Brevity is the king when it comes to titillation!

3) Pictures help, but penis pictures do nothing for women.

Guys love love love sending chicks pictures of their penis. I'm convinced it is going back to our kindergarten self where when we painted something we wanted to run up to our mommy's shouting look at me look at me! Females aren't turned on visually - we are stimulated emotionally. Sending someone a straight picture of your penis won't really do anything for the female. UNLESS however, she is in a relationship with you and then based on her domination of your penis she will appreciate it - but other than that, keep the penis pictures in the pants. Focus on the written word ... drive her wild!!!

4) Back it up!

If you're sexting your chick all day going into great detail what you are going to do to her when you get home, MAKE SURE YOU FREAKING DO IT!!! Chicks appreciate a man of their word - so choose yours carefully, and back that shit up!!!

Just because I am a public figure does NOT mean I appreciate these kind of messages - and if I am not responding to your texts ... there. is. a. reason.

Hope this lesson helps clear up some of the confusion!!! Rock on!