Fun with @MirrorMedia: My night with a Mormon

See, I am taking my 103 dates in 9 months and the fact that I have still averaged at least two dates a week for the past year (after the social experiment) and turning it into helping nerdy dudes get the girl. Rather than keep plugging my personal life (which any relationship blogger will tell you - you can't do forever) I wanted to shift into an advisor-ship role where I help nerdy dudes out. From their OKC profiles, to anything, I wanted to create a mock environment where we would sit and chat and I could help them figure out what their dating dilemmas were truly all about. FTR, I have absolutely no filter and a bullshit radar like NO other.

I heart helping people, and I can talk about dating and social dynamics for daayyyysssssss ... so this is helping me with my understanding of people tremendously, while at the same time, again, helping my nerdy fellas out. To make sure a transaction of some kind is exchanged though for my time (time is the most valuable thing ever), I have the guys buy me a beer and in exchange we will talk. 

So, that's what has been going on, and here is the latest and greatest ...

Introducing: the Mormon 

Editors note: I know that the Amish clearly aren't the same as Mormons - but in my brain when he said he was Mormon I could only imagine this song with the post. 

Last week I got hit up by a duderino on Facebook asking if I could take him out into the field. I got super excited, and agreed to meet up with him at a bar in Hollywood. 

I arrive at 7 (our arranged time), and since the bar we agreed to meet at had wifi - I quickly got on my phone while I waited for my date to arrive. 

I check Facebook and see this message ... 

Fine, I think. Not exactly cool, but shit happens. 

I email him back letting him know that I have somewhere I have to be at 8:30 so I could stay no longer than 8:20 but if his time was spent in traffic then when he got here we'd really have to get down to the nitty gritty. 

20 minutes go by .... nothing. 

30 minutes go by .... nothing. 

FORTY minutes go by ... nothing. 

I then tweet out my frustration. See, anytime you keep a person waiting longer than 20 minutes for a date to begin, you have opened the flood gates for them to live tweet as much of their frustration as possible. It's about respect. 

In this particular instance I didn't care because no matter what, I was executing my time allocated - so if that was how it was going to roll then let it be ... I still had to bounce at 8:20. 

At 7:47, exactly 47 minutes late, my mock date arrives. 

He immediately walks in all apologies. 

I'm disabled he admits, and the state provides this car service and the guy was late on top of us hitting every red light. 

Dude, dude, dude, I say - take a deep breath. It's okay. I genuinely have to leave at 8:20, but why don't you tell me what's up. Tell me about your dating history. 

He then explains to me because of his disability his dating life has been impaired. 

That sounds like an excuse to me, just like it was an excuse as to why you were late. Let's cut out the excuses and just get to the heart of the issue. When was your last relationship? 

I haven't had one, he said. 

Okay, how old are you? 

30, he says in shame. 

I touch his arm letting him know it's okay. 

Dude, I genuinely don't care, I'm just trying to establish a baseline and figure out socially where you are. Dating has a rhythm to it - it's all a dance. If you're still in position one while I'm on pointe we're going to have a problem. 

He then takes a deep breath admitting that he's nervous. 

I then connect the dots that no relationship might mean no sex. 

Can I ask you a personal question? (what in this isn't personal) 

Yes, he says. 

Are you a virgin? 

Yes, he admits, but that is because I'm Mormon and we have to put a ring on it first. 

AHHHHHHHHH, I say, all of this is making sense now. 

We don't even drink, he admits. 

AHHHHHH, okay. This is good. 

How do you meet women then? 

Through church groups. 

Awesome, how is the market in your church group?

Not good, he admits.

There''s one girl that I'm into, but I come on too intense and I drive women away. 

What does 'intense" mean?

Well, we see each other once a week at the group and then I text her. 

How often do you text her? 

3-4 times a week, he admits. 

Based on his body language I could then read he was telling me a lie. 

No, how often do you really text her? 

A couple of times a day, he says. 

Alrite, this is better. What do you say to her? And why are you texting her in the first place? Why haven't you just called her and asked her out?

I've tried that before, and she said no - but then she dropped me these hints that she was interested, I was confused. 

What are the hints? 

It's how she acts - very flirty. 

Break that down for me, what exactly does she do and how do you respond? Your definition of "flirty" can be different than a female's. 

It's in her behavior, and she's also told me that she could see herself dating me, just not now. 

What did you do then? 

I started texting her. 

Why did you start texting her?

Because I still wanted to talk to her.

I then stop him, note to nerds, do not EEEVVVEEERRRRR keep texting a girl in a situation like this.

As a dude, THIS. IS. WHEN. YOU. WALK. AWAY. 

If a chick isn't into you, cool, no problem! You. move. on. If she is TRULY into you, SHE. WILL. COME. BACK.

Have you tried another church group? I ask

Not yet, but I was going to. 

This week you're going to, I order. The only way you're going to get this chick is if you walk away. She's not going to know what to do without the attention and she will ABSOLUTELY come back - you have to be confident enough to trust that. 

Also too, you have to play the field a bit more. Obviously you're limited to church groups, but there are other cities you could go to, or other meetings - you can't be so stuck on just one chick each time or you're going to overwhelm them with attention and they will bolt. 

ANNDD, you don't EEEVVEEERRR ask a chick out over text message. Maybe after the first few dates it's cool, but always always always for the first date - you call. Grow a pair and pick up the fucking phone. 

Got it, he said. 

Good, now what are you going to do this week? 

Find a new church group. 

Awesome! And what else?

Stop texting the girl. 

Even better. 

My phone alarm then goes off. I want to see you again, I say. You're like the holy grail being at such a "step 1" phase, and I genuinely think I can learn from you. 

I'd LOVE it, he said brightening up. 

Great, we're going to do a follow up. Right now though, I want you to stay at the bar and make friends. Just go up and start talking to people. Have no agenda or motive, talk about the game, talk about anything - but I want you to get comfortable talking to people. 

Alrite he said. 

I then went in for a hug and left for my date with a smile on my face knowing I had genuinely made a difference today.

WHOOP WHOOP!! 

Now for his story on Mirror.net...

His dateAbility: 

I'm going to keep seeing the mormon to see what I can help him with. He's at a very very very basic level one and again, I can learn from him as much as he can learn from me. I'm SO FREAKING EXCITED and I'll keep you guys posted!! 

#thatisall

Want to check out Mirror for yourself? Here ya go! And don't forget to like 'em on Facebook. 

OH! And here's how you write a story, and Mirror 101. Enough links already!! Shessshhhh

Do you live in LA and would you like to go out on a date to be analyzed? Hit me up!! JenFriel at talknerdytomelover d c. I wanna hear from you!! xoxo

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