#NerdsUnite: Tales of a Pick Up Artist (Stop Observing, Get A Pair and Approach)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Anwar. We met in Florida last year, and it was because of him that I got to go out on a date with Steve Ward. True story - Anwar tweeted about Steve's Ustream broadcast, and that's where I asked him out. That shit cray! He's a rad mofo, and active in the pick up artist community (PUA) and wants to share his tips and tricks with you today. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ANWAR!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @AJonesPUA
Every night I go out I see the same social patterns. A group of men walk in, go to the bar, procure a drink then find a home based to observe the crowd.
A group of women walk-in run straight to the bathroom or bar, talk to their friends and park themselves at what they make home base for the evening.
What I have discovered is that when men look at me they think "I'm weird" for going up to girls and talking to them. They think it's "weird" for me to dance with girls I barely know. THEY think it's weird to be social in general. This is why ladies see lines of men posted up on the walls of clubs and waiting for that "one" girl to pass by and grab their arm. (It doesn't work by the way, I've field tested this) In reality when you're in a social environment, it's actually weird for you NOT to be talking.
For example, you see a guy in the bar leaning against the wall NOT speaking to anyone. The public perception will be that he is lonely and doesn't have any friends. Meanwhile, Lonely Guys sees Party Guy having the time of his life dancing, drinking and kissing girls. Party Guy may be getting rejected but Lonely Guy still think he's the shit because he has the courage to actually go after what he wants.
Men have to learn that the term "Less is more" has no relevance inside a social environment. The less you do the more of a weak impression you leave on people. Girls often associate social awkwardness with having no confidence and often brand you with the title of "The Creepy Guy."
I went out alone for the first time in a long time last night. Initially, I went out to give a good happy birthday to my friend and to hangout for a while. While in my chill mode I took a stroll around the bar and I didn't open any sets, wasn't really motivated to talk to any females at this point, but I like to people watch on occasion.
Make my way downstairs to the first floor dance-floor, it's 12:14 (don't ask how I remember) and from the bottom of the stairs I got the perfect view to basically see everyone and observe for a second.
Now I want to describe this from right to left in detail you can understand. So in order from right to left this is what I see:
2 cute girls, 3 guys standing around, 4 beautiful women, 1 guy dancing around them trying to gain their attention, 3set mixed 2 girls and 1 guy, 5 guys screaming and fist pumping to make it look like they're having fun.
I see a few more guys staring at the dancers on the stage, a few more wallflowers, looking around. I start to think to myself, "Why do we waste so much time looking good when we come out to just stand around and observe others"?
We put on our best shirt, pants, and shoes. Brush our hair and teeth, put on Axe or cologne to smell good. Then go out, just to sit on the wall, grab at girls only too satisfied with telling our friends that, "I almost had her, dog!"
Askmen.com has an article that talks about Why do women go to nightclubs? When I read this I was amazed by how accurate the article actually was about descriptions of certain women who prance about in the nightclub.
According to 100 women polled, there are 3 main reasons why women attend nightclubs:
1-- To meet men - 64%
2-- To see what happens - 21%
3-- To have fun - 12 %
4-- Other (with boyfriend, on a date) - 3%
Take a minute to soak that all in guys.
...
Finished? Ok, good =) Because, this proves we have no business watching anything in the club. You have to be interacting with people to be seen in a nightclub. Women come in there knowing what type of guys they want to approach them and women are so slick, they'll even position themselves to be approached by YOU!
Are you unclear on the reasons why YOU want to go out to clubs? To be social? To have fun with your friends? To pick up girls? Own that decision before you walk out the door. Don't apologize for wanting to approach and leave your friends, this is why you came out, right?
When you go out long enough, you will start to see a pattern taking place. One of which is how people interact with each other, guys especially. Here's what I mean:
4 things guys do in the club to "TRY" get attention:
- Gather in a circle and shout lewd noises to get attention.
- Make an all guy dance circle and do the drunken pop n lock. (At least the black ones do)
- Stay on the walls and grab women by the hands trying to get them to turn around.
- Stare at women as they walk by them.
As men, we don't need to "try" at all to attract women. At the same time you must carry yourself in a manner of being carefree and friendly. Make a habit to smile while walking through the club, causally talk to guys and girls and build some social momentum before you start approaching women. Remember, 64% of females are out to meet a guy and 21% are just there to see what happens. Why not make it a good night for these women to remember and be "That Guy" that sweeps them off they're feet.