#Status: single 6 month no man mission (Prone to Shenanigans & Malarky)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Tiffany. She's a love addict who is now purging herself of men in the hopes of finding a cure. Think she can do it?? She has given herself six months, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT TIFFANY!!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @nomanmission
I sent this in a text to three of my girlfriends after a long day at home with my sick son who slept all day due to an illness. Days like today are good, to slow me down, to force me to relax, to reflect, meditate, do yoga on my back patio, and by then end of it go right the fuck out of my mind!
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Overview of my night. 1. My 15.5 year old is sick w/a stomach bug sleeping all day, so I don't leave the house. 2. Bored to death by 5pm after an entire day @ home basically alone. 3. Poor a glass of wine & tune into my ex-husband’s radio show in RI (Rhode Island). 3. Start to get nostalgic for him and proceed to email him once & text him 12 times. Yes, 12 times...with no response. 3. Give up and go sit on my front patio w/a glass of red & bowl of popcorn. 4. Hot neighbor whom I have lived across from for 1.5 years but barely spoke to until the other day leaves his house. 5. Talk to said hot neighbor for over an hour about life, love, relationships, sex, pot, and everything in between. 6. We exchange numbers…but he assures me that he is indeed not looking for anything in the relationship department (sigh). 7. Get text from hot neighbor saying that we talked about sex & pot for an hour (what?) (That is ALL we talked about? I think not) and now he is having a hard time focusing. 8. I consider that the hot neighbor could just want to have sex w/me and honestly that doesn't sound that bad right now if I didn't have an ugly, but unpoppable zit on my left nostril...oh the joys of being single.
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Now, let me be clear. I would not have sex with my hot neighbor. Well, never say never, but the point is, I would have definitely taken him up on his offer to hang out. Also, WTF?! I haven't texted my ex-husband in years. We have had little contact for at least 2 years. We split up 4 years ago. Why the hell did I decide that today was the day that I should text him, not once, but 12 fucking times, and an email! Yes, in this sentence FUCK needs to be used because it is that god damn ridiculous! I am not to be trusted to be left to my own device for this many monotonous hours on end. Don't get me wrong, I had a great day. It was wonderful and welcomed to relax in the capacity that I did. It felt good to be here for my son. Yes, he slept almost all day, but, to know that my only responsibility was to make sure he felt taken care of and to overall just be present for him felt really nice. But-by the end of the day I had lost my mind for sure. I always say that idle time is my enemy and it is. I was able to just chill for most of the day, but by 2pm I was going stir crazy. I started to think of all the things that I could be accomplishing, the yoga class that I was missing which means I will have to double up another day to complete the 31 day challenge, grocery shopping, seeing the sunset, and the fact that I was going to miss the yogi happy hour this evening. Ha, shit, if these are my problems then my life is pretty damn good! Nothing like writing something down to realize how good you actually have it!
Boredom overtook me as I finished an entire bag of Parmesan, basil popcorn and 1/2 of a bottle of red wine and listened to my ex-husbands radio show. I had officially switched into self-destruct mode. It's sad too, because I managed to power through 5 sets each of Sun Sal A & B, meditate, write, and lay out in my backyard throughout the day. With that momentum you would think that I wouldn't fall into that place, but I guess I am fragile right now. I should mention that all the while I still felt pretty damn happy. I felt peaceful all day. I think I just needed to get some malarky out of my system. Hey, at least I have managed to not contact "HYY". That is a victory! There I go taking one step forward and 12 steps back as I text my ex-husband instead! WTF, Tiff?!
The funniest part about all this is when I asked Tim what the hell is up with me to act so crazy and out of character tonight. He replied "I don't know, maybe it is that other broad in your head. What's her name, Autumn?". Ha ha ha. Precisely, Tim, precisely.
My name is Tiffany, or do I blame this whole evening on my alter ego Autumn?