#HowTo: Satisfy the self (true blue tips on how to have an orgasm from penetration)

Mar 15

Dear Mom and Dad,

I feel like this one is a no brainer, but please go away. I love you SO FREAKING MUCH, but stop reading this now. You do not ever need to know that I have sex, and um ... yeah. Oh look a kitty cat ...

Anywho, hi to everyone not in my family.

So, I'm crazy efficient when it comes to breaking things down; it's how my brain works, I CONSISTENTLY seek to solve for y. This obviously works well in the webspace, but also doesn't hurt in the sexual department. Dudes, I can please my punanana something fierce. I'm here to tell you all today some of the kinks in the pink that have worked in the hopes of all of you loverly people getting to experience it as well.

Bit of a backstory first (no pun intended) ... I've been having orgasms from penetration since I was 24. Remember the mentalist? He gave me my first one, followed by a handful of guys since.

So why only some guys and not others?

I'm not entirely sure, but here is what I have learned by analyzing the process thus far:

1) Being in love matters.

It's a scientific fact that being in love changes your brain chemistry. Your brain is releasing dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin, and vasopressin (to name a few) - and these hormones make it fundamentally easier for your body to be capable of achieving orgasm (thank you evolution!!). Dudes, the female orgasm is a CRAZY overwhelming thing. I remember the first time I had one, I was literally scared out of my mind that OMG OMG OMG I just shared this thing that I've only ever done by myself with ANOTHER PERSON IN THIS WORLD!!! I couldn't believe I was able to have one, and then the second that I did my body was CHAARRGGEEEDDDD with so many overwhelming feelings and thoughts ... from shame, to elation, to ... I don't even know; I was just so overwhelmed with the process that I GENUINELY went into shock that I could even be capable of sharing this intimate thing with another person. I then realized through copious amounts of googling, that being in love really mattered for me to be able to experience this. I had been in love twice before the mentalist, but because my body was physically maturing, it certainly did make it also easier.

This brings me to point number two ...

2) You have to feel comfortable in your skin.

That actually sounds like such a grand notion rather than something factual and tangible - so lemme break it down for you a bit more ...

You need to stop thinking about your body and get lost in the sexual bliss. Think about it, when you masturbate you're not wondering a) am I doing this right or b) do I look fat from this angle? You're instead esconced in your own essence and embracing every move and every ounce of pleasure. Replicate that experience when it comes to sex. I know it's hard to imagine, but the more comfortable you can be in your own skin during the process, the easier this entire situation becomes.

3) Being on top matters.

The only time I've ever had an orgasm from being on my back was from when I was receiving oral. (And from that I've only ever had an orgasm once.) Being on top makes it easier for a female since you can control how fast or slow you are going, and also how much stimulation the clitoris actually receives in the process. My first one happened on a couch, but I've also had them on a bed. Depending on the size of the guy and your genital compatability, you can also put a pillow under the dude's butt to help with the lift and thrust, but either way, being on top will CERTAINLY make it a lot easier for you to be able to have the actual orgasm.

4) Know your time of the month, and plan accordingly.

The week before my period I am SUUPPPPEERRRRRR friggen horny. Like CRAZY horny - and I'm a horny human being to begin with, but you add that in ... and wooooaahhhh nelly mcdelly, I will fuck your dick right off. I can't help it, it's biological. My hormones are all over the place, I will spend an afternoon crying at a how sweet Kindergarten Cop is, and I will be COMPLETELY incapable of making a logical decision. Just, period end of sentence (no pun intended) - that's how I get. The flip side of this emotional clusterfuck however is the fact that I'm also more sexually charged, and can even achieve multiple orgasms with incredible ease.

It freaks me out actually, I have literally spent afternoons masturbating since the orgasms wouldn't stop happening!!

Planning your first orgasm from penetration may not be exactly an easy thing to do, but be conscious when you are having sex before your period. Understand that this is a special time for your body and being able to achieve the orgasm becomes fundamentally easier.

Whoop Whoop!! Best of luck out there nerdy ladies!!! Happy orgasming!!