#NerdsUnite: Redefining Myself and Starting a New Path
editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Eric. He is a MAASSTTEERRR social dynamics expert that will be talking about his experiences in the field from both an expert, and experience perspective. He's not just saying "this is how to get the girl" he's here to share his actual life stories and lessons learned from them. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ERIC !!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Redolpho
Shit gets real when you're an entrepreneur. I know being an entrepreneur is the hip new thing but there are a lot of times where it sucks a big bag of d%#&s. It is the most challenging endeavor that I have ever done but the reward of owning your life is worth it. This week my social media consultancy is going through some changes. Although my partner and I enjoy working with each other, and plan to work with each other in the future, we are putting the business on hiatus. The decision came shortly after our main client temporarily suspended our contract and after doing our finances, we knew that things were going to change. So after almost a year of 16-24 hour days, one or maybe two days off a month, a couple serious breakdowns, overcoming suicidal depression and investing everything I had, (breath) it's back to the drawing board.
In many ways it feels like leaving a long term relationship. Everyday stayed centric to this thing, it was the first thing that I thought about when I woke up and the last thing that I thought about when I went to bed. I'm cerebral to a fault so my mind has been running non-stop since then. Whose fault this was, what was I going to do and what people would think. I really wanted this business to be a success but it failed. More importantly the question arose, "Did I fail?"
So I was thinking on this and I realized that I had actually exceeded my goals and real progress had taken place. It was my perspective that was completely wrong, I had not failed but had lost perspective on my original goals. I needed an education and wanted an apprenticeship with the most brilliant business people I could find. My business partner has sold three of her five businesses and one of those sales was in the millions. She is certifiably brilliant. Her husband is also a seasoned entrepreneur and mind blowing to collaborate with. Thinking that my first business was going to be some gigantic success was a little unrealistic, statistically that outcome was very unlikely. I suppose this is the entrepreneur’s naivety. You can't give it your all if you don't believe in it, but sometimes it's just not time yet. I think this where I'm supposed to quote some entrepreneur who failed multiple times before succeeding, like the KFC dude.
What I see myself do so often is set realistic goals at the beginning of something, and lose sight of those during the process, forgetting why I'm doing what I'm doing in the first place. I wanted the business to succeed, but first and foremost I was there to get an education. Now the question is what I'm going to do with that education. My life would be amiss, and all my work for personal growth for nothing, if I didn't make it to the next chapter.
The next chapter for me, right now, is true independence. Ending my search for validation was a big step in this process. I realize now that our lifetimes are a series of two decisions, fear or growth and rest or work. Philosophy professor Louis Mackey of the University of Texas, explains what I mean better than myself in one of my favorite all time movies, Waking Life.
fear or laziness from Aira Vijay on Vimeo.
Moments of great change always come with uncertainty and fear. I'm face to face with that fear right now. I'm charting out into this unknown place of uncertainty and I'm definitely scared. Being an entrepreneur is scary, like insanely scary. The scariest part is that I don't really know what I'm doing. Do we ever truly know what we're doing though? I don't think so, to me, life is a series of educated guesses. We hope for the best but the factual certitude of common knowledge is illusory, no one can predict the future.
Also similar to a relationship, this is a big point of redefinition for me. I'm reaching inward to define what true independence means. As an entrepreneur at the conception of a new project I'm building this one exactly how I want it. I have my desired outcomes lined up and they're not traditional. 2013 is going to be my year of true independence. It's going to be my year of traveling. I'm very excited to get started and only have a couple more days until I wrap up things with my past until I can fully dive into my future.
L'chaim,
Eric
FYI I am pretty sure that Lennon never said this but I liked the meme nonetheless.
#thatisall
If you’d like to share your stories please feel free to tweet me at @redolpho or email me at eric dot rudolph dot carrillo at gmail dot com