#RealDeal: Dude, Your Attitude Sucks
<editorsnote> Jordan is a dating coach. But not like "a" dating coach ... lemme rephrase that, he is THE dating coach. He has a show on SiriusXM called "Game On" and he's a super smarty pants when it comes to examining social dynamics. No ... like for real. </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger
I see people get upset with themselves all the time. I've seen quitters in all aspects of life. Your attitude is going to have a major impact on your changes. If you have a great attitude about your progress, you’ll go far. If you don’t and you’re mad at the world and think that everyone is out to get you, it’s going to be hard to channel that the right way to see the proper results.
I personally think that with the right focus, anger can be used as a motivator. Anger and frustration can be used as fuel to move you in a certain direction and can challenge you to do better. The problem with that fuel is that it can easily devour you if you’re not careful. Focusing on the negative all the time can distract you from seeing the small victories. You will need to see these victories to have motivation to continue to grow. Don’t let negativity consume you and drag you down further into a hole that you will not be able climb out of.
Being pissed at the world, your family, ex-girlfriend or even yourself is not a way to enter a transformation. Drop the baggage. With the right outlook success can be yours for the taking. You pretty much have to love your family unconditionally so do it. That does not mean you have to adopt their beliefs or philosophies. You make your own. Forget your ex-girlfriend, thinking about her is only going to cause you to pine for her and ask questions you don’t have the answers to. More importantly let’s start with you. You are going to have to forgive yourself for any wrong doing so you can begin to move forward.
Beating yourself up is never the answer. We all make mistakes. It’s called being a human being. I have seen guys never forgive themselves for the smallest things. So what, you failed to realize some girl liked you or tried to impress a woman and ended up embarrassing yourself. It’s going to happen and again and again. It is called feedback. Learn from it. You need to make mistakes sometimes so that you can learn.
You want to have people around you who will support you in your journey. Being angry and negative is not going to bring anyone close other than people who are in the same place you are in. What you put out there is going to come right back at you.
Try focusing on yourself and the people closest to you. Is there anything you can do to help their world? Think about how you can have an exciting fun day. Set up a reward system to help yourself focus on goals. Make sure to keep the goals small and obtainable.
Remember to smile and focus on the positive. If you need to reflect on the negative, remember to take away a learning experience.
#nerdsunite
Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company. If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com. You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook.