#ProTip: Get Over Being Shy
<editorsnote> Jordan is a dating coach. But not like "a" dating coach ... lemme rephrase that, he is THE dating coach. He has a show on SiriusXM called "Game On" and he's a super smarty pants when it comes to examining social dynamics. No ... like for real. </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger
When it comes to women, there is no being shy about it. What is it that you are waiting for? For her to one day wake up and figure out that you have been there for her all along?
This ‘hope is a strategy’ mentality is not going to get you very far. If you are looking for a job, do you just sit around waiting for companies to realize that you would be a great employee? Or do you go out there and contact employers, telling them about what an asset you would be to their company? If you are very successful in your professional life, you got there with hard work, perseverance and stepping up to the plate when the time was right.
Guys, if you want to play the lottery or wait to get lucky, I’ll let you in on something. Luck is being able to see opportunity and being brave enough to step up to take it. At some point in your life, if you want something passionately enough, you will have to go after it.
Women can see shyness as endearing or cute, but that has nothing to do with being attracted to you. Women want a man who is going to take control of the situation. She wants to lose herself in the bedroom, and a shy man is not going to allow her that privilege. The good news is, there are a few women who like shy men. So all you have to do is hope you run into her and somehow catch her attention. The sad part is, she will eventually get bored and drop you like a rock.
Guys, I may seem a bit harsh. It is only because I care and want to help. You have been coddled for way too long. It is time to get yourself out there and live life. We all need a swift kick at some time in our lives.
One thing that I hear shy guys say often is, “I’m Shy.” You do not have to be shy anymore. Put it behind you. If you continue to say that you’re shy, you will continue to be shy. Put it in the past. “I used to be shy but now I’m working on being more outgoing.” That is the first thing to do. When you are an adult, being shy means, “I’m a big wuss.” This is not attractive.
Get out there and take your shots with everyone else. Meeting women is a full contact sport. You will win some and lose some. You will probably lose a hell of a lot more than you’ll win. Rejection shouldn't hurt you. You will still be there standing after the hardest blowout and should be ready to talk to the next woman. Understand that everyone makes mistakes and if you are smart about it, you can learn from those mistakes to make yourself a better man.
Get yourself out there and get comfortable talking to both men and women. I don’t care what you have to do to get comfortable, but do it. Opinion openers, bar surveys, strippers sitting on your lap at a strip club; whatever it is, it does not matter. The sooner you start, the sooner it will be over. If you don’t want anyone to see you practicing, go to a place where no one knows you.
Actually, that strip club idea is a good one. If you are very uncomfortable around beautiful, naked women, go to the strip club with about twenty $1 bills and get the girls to sit and talk to you. Make sure to tip them occasionally. That’s how they make money. Try to go on slow nights: Sunday through Wednesday. They will appreciate the money and you can benefit from their company.
These are some easy things that you can do. If you start today, you can be well on your way in just a few weeks. Getting over your shyness is not impossible. Thousands of people go through it every day. You won’t be the first and you won’t be the last. Besides, do you have better things to do? You will when you quit being shy.
#nerdsunite
Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company. If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com. You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook.