#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick ... (existential crisis)
It is my goal for 2012 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy dudes out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life. ::deep breath:: Here we go!
I then asked him to elaborate ...
HAHAHA moment of clarity - oh fuck no - it wasn't clarity, it was the after effects of a nervous breakdown.
In 2007 I lost my marbles. LITERALLY! I had been people pleasing for my entire life, and didn't have a strong enough sense of self that I went bonkers and checked myself into a psych ward. (incredibly incredibly common in the nerd community btw. Nerds are VERY self aware)
I then got back on my feet, barely - had gotten myself involved with a mentalist (LITERALLY a professional mind reader), and after we ended I sunk into yet another depression. Realizing that this time however, I wasn't actually crazy and suicide had failed me before ... I said fuck it. If I'm ACTUALLY going to kill myself, I'd be dead! So why not do the EXACT opposite and really really really start living. Again, I was totes going to just kill myself again so it kinda made sense. I had been at the 140 twitter conference that day (November 3, 2009) and noticed a trend ... nerds are going to be hot. Like, this was a total no brainer. I had been a nerd my entire life, but also a model and actress so if ANNYYYOOONNNNEEEE can rally the troops it could be me.
On my roommate's bed that night I launched this loverly website, and the ENTIRE time I was saying fuck you! fuck you! fuck you! I hate you life!! I hate you mentalist!! I'll show you!!!
There was no moment of clarity, there was only a moment of - I am doing EVERY THING in life wrong, what can I do right? Starting a website not only "made sense" to me, but it was in my SOUL!!! I grew up online!! I was the original Cyber-babe on Yahoo in 1997, and knew after working for one of the founders of MySpace in 2007 on his project LiveVideo, that I REALLY dug the start up world.
Starting the website felt good - so I did it. I used the "feeling good" as a guide, and a few weeks later I crashed the Grammys, and a few weeks after that I became a Ford Fiesta Movement agent, and a few months after that I wound up moving INTO the Ford Fiesta giving up everything I owned bartering social media to live. The story then unfolds every day, but all I'm doing is shit I believe in, and following my gut on what I'm GENUINELY interested in. I spend 17 hours on this site all day every day, and I have been going for almost 26 months now. This is my thing, it's my calling ... but it took me to dial the phone to be able to answer it. I had to find that THING that felt good, and then jump off the cliff to be able to follow it.
I'm STILL shocked every.single.day. that any of this has worked. It's INCREDIBLY counter intuitive to the way I was raised being a semi-rich kid from Connecticut.
What you do in life never ever ever has to make sense to other people, and you don't EVER have to see a "light at the end of the tunnel" - you just. have. to. do.
Don't like your job? Quit it! I've told HUNDREDS of people just that over the last 2 years, and not a SINGLE one has come back to me saying they regret it. I'm totes not even kidding in saying that either, I make it a point to follow up with people as well to make sure I'm not preaching something that other peeps can't do. I lucked out by following a trend, but I WAS the trend. I AM the trend. It was something INSIDE OF ME that I saw, and said I can let this light shine. No one told me I was awesome, I wrote my own permission slip and took charge of my own destiny.
I can't change people, I can't tell ANYONE what to do ... but I can remind you all that your awesome is organic and that your only "job" in life is to let it shine. That's it! It REALLY is that simple.
I do me all day, every day. This is my passion on display 24/7 - and if people read us, hells bells that's rad! But even if they didn't - fuck yeah! that's rad! This website fed my soul when it couldn't feed my belly because it is my calling.
Pick up the phone, start dialing. Life is on the other line waiting for you.
Best of luck nerderino!!!
Oh and what's my opinion of a Prince Albert? Freaks me out. Never seen a dude with one, but it gives me the heeby jeebs. And regarding my hair - my hair is a freak of nature. It is SOOO thick and there is SOOO much of it, when I write and work I actually have to put it in a bun on top of my head just to keep it all out of my face ...
It's so heavy and so ... thick - I literally can't do my job otherwise. OY! And I'm not even Jewish
Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com
ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook (which btw I take longer to respond to. Please please please just email me. Way easier for me to star it and get back to ya!) and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!