#NerdsUnite: Dear Liz, stop fighting so dirty and other notes to self.
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Liz. She's an interFASHIONal badass currently working in the social space. She's super passionate about all things hair, and my or may not be sweating while she is tweeting. Wait, no - that came out wrong ... I mean chicks sweat and all, but dudes don't really want to know that ... they just think we "glisten." I don't mean to still be talking - shut up Jen. HIT IT LIZ!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @welovedates
I'm having the hardest time writing this, because I just keep getting that song by the completely (ir)relevant band “Lit” stuck in my head...you might know the one, “My Own Worst Enemy”, which if you happened to grow up in Orange County or L.A like I did, you will know because KROQ used to play it on repeat and probably still does.
I had a huge fight with my boyfriend over the weekend, which I usually don't like to talk about because it is usually all my fault I don't like to dwell on such negativity and in the grand scheme of things, our fights are few and far between.
However, I fight like a bitch. A defensive, cold, Latina bitch. I get it, I know where it comes from, I've figured it out, I've cracked the code-It's all my parents fault, duh. Obviously, it's all a defense mechanism. Obviously, I don't mean all the shitty things I say sometimes. Obviously, I love you! Obviously, I give people dating advice all day long, I know I shouldn't act like this! Obviously, right?
But one look at my boyfriends face after I delivered a perfectly timed, perfectly worded, fucking nasty one liner made me realize that no, in fact, it's not so obvious.
Not obvious at all, actually.
And I knew something had to change, because being “right” or “tough” felt absolutely horrible. The fight I was really having wasn't with him, it was with myself.
Perhaps this means that I'm finally growing up...hmmm doubtful. So, more likely, maybe I've finally met a guy who actually makes me want to be a better person. I've heard that line said in romantic comedies and it's just adorable, but what the hell does it really mean? For me, it's easy. If my silly defense mechanism and the pseudo tough girl attitude I get when I'm scared causes me to hurt someone I love, then I'd rather be scared. I'd rather be terrified, open, vulnerable and weak.
I'd rather wave my white flag, and open the door than slam it in his face before he even says anything.
I don't know. Maybe all this yoga and meditation I'm doing and holistic mumbo jumbo is working or maybe it's just too exhausting to hold my guard up all the time? Sometimes I have to keep reminding myself that there is nothing to be afraid of.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
#thatisall
Click here to follow Liz on twitter and check out her blog over yonder!