RT - #NerdsUnite: Life without a purpose
Alrite, so yesterday our very own Brian Freedman posted this fanschmastically awesome piece regarding not feeling like he has a purpose in his life - or something to truly strive for. He asked for help within the community, and considering the subject, I very honestly thought this one I should handle.
Dudes, purpose and things to strive for? I LIVE for that shit!!!
It's interesting, when Brian first came on board writing with us - I bit back at him a little. He would submit these posts, and his writing is effing fabulous - but some of them came off as preachy ... that he was this expert telling us all what to do without explaining why? The purpose of this community, and the reason why I lifecast in general, is for education through a transparent experience. Some days, I am a fucking idiot. Some days, I am not. I am imperfectly perfect and I fucking own it. I don't sit there on a pedestal explaining to you all how social media works, and how Facebook should be gamed to increase your EdgeRank based on blah blah blah blah blah - I say, post shit that doesn't suck, and post things that YOU find interesting, and YOU would want to RT and repost, etc. etc. etc. I find I learn more from people that lead by example so that is what I try to do here. Is it perfect? No, but I'm too busy doing it to notice that part.
THHHAAATTTTT being said - this post really blew me away. Brian for the first time, took a risk. He was vulnerable, and that's something that should be recognized. Kudos Brian for your bravery.
I'm going to highlight some lines in your post that stuck out to me.
Really my whole life I’ve never cared for things. I personally just live very simply.
Caring for something and living simply have no effect on each other. I lead a very, very, very, simple life - I'm a minimalist. Dude look how much I traveled with when I was gone for THIRTY DAYS ...
I don't own a lot of things in the physical realm, and the rest of my experiences are not extravagant, they are just me. I carry what I can on my back, and if it's too heavy, it gets left behind.
I lead a very. very. very. simple life - however, that simplicity allowed me to care THAT MUCH MORE about things since I was no longer clouded by materialism. Seriously!! Leading a simple life allowed a heightened experience to find things that I cared about even more!!!!
The problem with that is, I’m bored out of my mind. With nothing to work for, I have nothing to do. The only thing I ever truly wanted was an awesome personality, and after years of working hard on myself I feel very happy with who I am.
Who are you, Brian? When I asked you to write more personal things on the site you said you don't like writing about yourself. I get that, I really do ... but why the fear about writing about yourself??
I know who I am. I know what I want to do, I very literally cannot shut the fuck up about it!! In 22 months posting morning, noon, and night - I have never. ever. wondered - oh um, gee, what to write about today?? I can't stop all the thoughts that run through my head, and I express them because I tirelessly search myself to figure out who I am, what I want to do, and what feels good.
That's where it all begins Brian - what feels good to you?
I didn't know that running a website was going to be such an UNBELIEVABLE passion for me. I knew I liked telling stories, I knew I was kind of an okay writer, I knew I loved tech, but what did all of it mean?
Instead of attempting to wrap my UNBELIEVABLY over analytical brain around things I just said - okay, creating and running a website feels good, let's just go play and explore.
Literally. The biggest decision of my life was that simple -
"this feels good."
I didn't think of the big picture, I only had the present moment. (Albeit as well, I was also at a place of desperation, so this wasn't super like Zen Buddhist of me - I just said fuck it to the world and only focused on the present moment because I was trying to get through every second of it all without offing myself. Read more about that here.)
I also lived the first part of my adult life for other people. Don't get me wrong, I was very strong willed, but sometimes that drove me directly into a wall. I was consistently listening to other people waiting for them to validate me, and tell me what I SHOULD be doing, versus turning inward and asking myself what do I, Jen Friel, want to do? Again - what FEELS good?
I had no idea.
I have now spent every minute of the last 22 months figuring that out. So far so good!!! =)
No one is going to give you your passion Brian, or tell you - YES! Here is your carrot, now GO GET IT!!!
Everything in life starts with you, and every question you could ever want to know is already inside of you. Turn inward, and don't overwhelm yourself. Literally start with this one question, what feels good to me Brian Freedman? I guarantee you that you already know about the right area to start. I knew tech was a passion of mine, but I didn't understand how to have a career in it outside of coding or being buried in SEO morning, noon, and night. You mean I could still tell stories and be entertaining all while being in the tech space??? WHHAATT???!!! There was a door there that I couldn't see because my brain told me over and over that there was just a wall.
Turn inward.
Turn inward.
Turn inward.
This isn't school anymore. No one is going to tell you what to do, what time to finish something by - this is your life, Brian. And it's more FANTASTIC beyond comprehension, but you have to realize that yourself and you have to validate yourself before anyone can validate you. How do you do that? Start with finding what feels good, and once you start - don't ever stop.
This is your mission should you choose to accept.
#thatisall
"Passion and purpose go hand in hand. When you discover your purpose, you will normally find its something you're tremendously passionate about."
