#Amazeballs: Dudes, on Friday I'm meeting with a modern Shaman

Sep 21

OMG, I am totally not even kidding. BAHHHH!!! Here's how it's all going down.

So, clearly, if you read this site - you know that I document my life. I have a gajillion thoughts that run through my head every day and instead of sitting there in this creative funk, I started this site as a means to document said thoughts (primarily in or by using social media as it's my greatest passion) - and now I operate as a lifecaster and through a transparent experience get to psychoanalyze myself with the help of the internet. Pretty rad. Even radder is that by being so honest and open you guys come out of the WOODWORK offering to help. Yesterday, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I am becoming a man-eater. Something inside of me is using dudes to validate something in myself, and WOOAHHH that is so unlike me. So, I made a public declaration that I was going to give up casual sex, and looky looky the email I got on Facebook ...

And now I have a meeting on Friday with this duderino.

BADASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited, you have no idea.

For reals man, I am UNBELIEVABLY conscious of energy, and I know in the depths of my soul that there is this block in my life, and after 103 dates in 9 months - I am STILL dating the same guys; it's not them, it's me!!!

And now, after recognizing that, I have to do something about it. I've been meditating, I've been doing a lot of soul searching - but it's not enough. It's my state of consciousness that allows these duderinos into my life - like energy will always find each other. So now, I am taking that first step in altering my own energy and releasing this block that clearly is still present in my life.

Understand too, I really really really do believe in biological pre-dispositions that dictate that we shouldn't be monogamous (I don't think I'd want to be in an open relationship necessarily, but swinging is definitely appealing). I still don't believe in a notion of there being a "one" or a "soul mate" - I believe in like energy attracting to one another.

I am just 110% not okay with not leading a fulfilled life in any capacity. I work too fucking hard to accept mediocrity. There is a guy out there that would be okay dating a chica that documents her life (and obviously if he is in it, he becomes a part of it as well). There is a guy out there that will understand the big words that come out of my mouth unintentionally. There is a guy out there that is passionate about his own life enough and has enough of his own shit going on to not get too caught up in mine.

If I can't find you, I will manifest you - and if I can manifest an ENTIRELY new life for myself in 22 months, I can break a dating pattern and manifest and allow a great guy to come in as well. This journey is too awesome to not share, but my first step is within myself. Clear out the BS, clear out the fear, clear out my cache and reset my factory settings. I need a re-boot - and hopefully this duderino will be able to help.

There you go!!! I asked the universe aka this community for a next doable action, and just like that it appeared in my inbox on Facebook and an appointment has been set for Friday.

BOOM! How about dem apples???