#Fact: Just like raindrops ... you feeeeeeeel so good!

Aug 11

AH! I cannot stop listening to this song!!! For reals ... I just posted on it, but I can't stop - it's taken over my noggin.

K. So there's a lot going on right now. Like, I know I say that a lot - because truthfully my ADD won't keep me still ... but for reals, we've got a lot of awesomeness coming up, and holy fuckerdy it is makin' me run around like a chicken with my head cut off ... literally.

I talked to my management today and they basically want me to plot out where I want the site to go, and who exactly I am and what not so they can pitch me. (Agents/ managers are just like sales people - but for uh, actual people.) It's kinda funny the timing because I am also doing the same thing for both the peeps with the pilot, and the duderinos I am talking to about getting seed money for the site. It's funny how this site is almost two years old, and VERY LITERALLY this shit is all going down in the same week.

High-larity.

Once I get them that info though, they are going to start to set me up on "generals" - which is basically when you sit down with LITERALLY every network in town, and say your peace. (Some were supposed to happen this week, but one of the managers wants to come with me for the first few, and she couldn't leave NY. BOO!!) They're still a bit unsure of what to pigeon hole me as.

Hi, my name's Jen Friel - I went out on 103 dates in 9 months, crashed the grammys in 2010 to meet Pete Cashmore all in the name of my website Talk Nerdy To Me, Lover ... blah blah blah. Each one will be spun different for each network - well not spun, but certain stories will be highlighted more than others depending on each network.

They're not only sending me out here in LA, but also in NYC - so yah, I'm going to tack on 3 days to my back east trip to be in NYC. Pretty stoked. They asked me today about my feelings on spending some time there - I explained to them that I am used to living out of a suitcase ... I'm just game for life, man.

I'm just so ready nerds, you guys have no fucking idea. I'm ready to step up to the plate running this brand legitimately with a staff, and seed money ... I'm just so fucking ready to give you guys even cooler content man.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready - I just have to get INCREDIBLY specific on what I want. It's super trippy to hear these suits say well you can do this ... and you can do this ... and that ... and what were your intentions with this - did you mean that?

I get now why when people have that bit of success they can go mad. You're literally being offered the world, and asked what you want - it's a trip, but that's why I'm ETERNALLY grateful for my journey in the last year. I'm already a minimalist - I'll never not be one. I've had money, I've been DEAD broke, and I've honestly never been happier just being a nomadic hippie. Albeit, yeah, that was extreme - and I am VERY ready to have a salary again, it's just intense, man - you can't get caught up in your own shit.

Especially with what I do ... I live life, talk about it, and self promote 24/7. It's a slippery slope from being aight to a super douche. Gotta stay grounded.

I will say this to you all, so it is in writing now ... these are my intentions:

This site is my heart, passion, and soul - this brand will always be my baby.

I want to produce multi-media content. (TV, webshows, and livestreams) I am completely aware that my little mug will only be cute in front of a camera for so long. Also too, acting and modeling never really did anything for me. Don't get me wrong, I loves being a ham in front of a camera - but I LOOVVEEE being the brain behind shiznat. Coming up with cool, off the wall concepts - doing something visually interesting. Yada yada.

I, Jen Friel, want to be a producer, and continue talking about nerds, sex, and tech on this website.

That is my goal.

Seriously ... we're social media examined from a social perspective. I use all of it, and ADORE it - but rather than be an uber douche and talk down to people about it, touting an "expertise" - I'd much rather just use it, have epic adventures, and tell you all about it.

I'm pretty stoked. I really am. You guys have no idea how grateful I am for everything - I mean wow. Again, getting to do what you love is the greatest gift, knowing that is just the beginning is a complete shock.

It's also weird for me having to relinquish some of the control that I have over everything. Right now, I am 100% the be all and end all of everything TNTML related - that is about to change. Albeit for the better - the advisor that I am talking to is VERY LITERALLY one of the MOST respected people in the ENTIRE tech industry - but it's still going to be weird for me, and a bit of an adjustment. I'm just so used to people not doing shit, to be frank. Every job I've ever gotten in the entertainment industry - I got myself. I sat there and created this brand, put my blood. sweat. and FUCKING TEARS into it ... it's not that I don't want other people to come in and help (clearly we have over 50 people that have contributed content at various stages) - it's just weird for me to be around people that are EQUALLY doing shit. Dudes, my managers want. their. five. percent. HAHA they are HUSTLING HARRRRDDD!!! It's awesome, man - but still just weird, and a shock.

I'd be lying if I said this wasn't one of the scariest months of my life. Stepping up to your own plate is one thing, realizing the world is now watching and you have to throw a pitch is another.

I'm ready, I know I'm ready ... but I can't help but feel like what I'm doing is going to make me feel more isolated and more alone. Funny huh? I talk to LITERALLY HUNNNDDRREEDDSSSSS of people all day, every day - and I get terribly lonely. My roomie is great, even if we're just sitting on the couch watching TV or something together - I at least feel social. But the rest is just weird. I've never in my life wanted to just see an old friend more than right now, in this moment. I know that's why I'm thinking of Romeo so much - he just keeps shit so real - and dudes, I'm not saying that other people don't ... but people start to treat you differently when they want something from you. Even if it's just a tweet, or some marketing advice - it's still something ... it gets annoying after a while. But whatevs, I created this beast, and now I gotta deal. Small price to pay for getting to do what you love everyday.

I have no idea what this post is even about, FYI. I've just been in producer mode all day planning my trip back east, and I haven't had a creative writing outlet - I just wanted to write. I'm literally going insane coming up with all of these episode concepts and trying to figure out how realistic they are location wise.BAHHH!!

If I haven't told you guys this yet today, I really fucking love you. Like really really really love you. Thank you all SO much for reading and being so awesome. This hasn't been an easy journey, but it's been one hell of a ride.

Thank you for changing my life.