#Question: WTF is wrong with me? I just messaged my first love on Facebook
Editor's Note: This is a pretty epic 5 part series of posts regarding my first love. If you're looking to skip ahead to any bit of the story scroll down for part one, or click here for ...
and the final chapter, part 5
Wait ... hahaha that may be like the most loaded question in the history of TNTML. Be gentle. I'm going through a change right now. hahaha not like "the change" but a lot of cool shit is going down, and I can feel it. It's very much this sense of out with the old, in with the new. Dudes, even one of my BESSTTTT friends in LA just left last week after living here for 5 years. Lauren is family to me ... was kinda trippy.
But either way, I just emailed my first love on Facebook. I don't know why, well I do know why ... I'm lonely. But I very genuinely care a lot about him. This guy hates me. Like hates me hates me. When I sent him the email it popped up the thread from 2 years ago where he said that I "destroyed him." I contemplated screen shot-ing the email, but it's incredibly personal and not my story to tell.
UGHHHHH!!! This guy professed his love for me in that email!!! He said he almost called me thousands of times, and after I visited him in San Fran he knew I was the girl for him. I can't help but think about how differently my life would be right now if I were married to him; it just wasn't there anymore. We both had the WORST timing EVER! Here, I will tell you all a story ... the story of my first love. Gather round kiddies ...
First off, let's give him a nickname. Wow ... what to call my first love. First loves are huge, so this is kinda a big deal. How about Romeo. Seems a bit appropriate. K, so Romeo it is.
I met Romeo my first week in LA. I was getting my hair cut at a Super Cuts on the westside, and as I was walking in I noticed this guy walking out. OMMMMGGGGG I thought - he is sooooo fucking hot. MMMMM the things I would do ... I turn around to check out his ass. Yep, ah-mazing!
I walked into the Super Cuts a bit sad that I hadn't arrived 10 minutes earlier to get to stare at the hottie some more, but whatevs. I sat down and waited to be assisted, and low and behold - BAMMMM he came back in!
Oh holy fuckery! This is GREAT, I thought.
I smiled sweetly as I saw him walk by. mmmmmmmmmm want. to. touch. the. hiney.
A few minutes went by and I was finally called. It's a super small Super Cuts, so not only aren't there a lot of stations, but they are on top of each other. Yep, I got sat literally right next to him.
I kept staring over in the mirror.
So! How much do you want off, sweetie??
When am I getting off? Wow! That's mighty personal ... we haven't even met yet, I thought.
OOHHHH my hair - just an inch or so. That'll be fine.
I coudn't stop staring at him in the mirror. Like seriously, I could not have been more obvious.
So, where ya from!
I just moved to Los Angeles actually. I'm from Connecticut originally but came here by way of NYC then Florida for a few months, I say with the slightest hint of a southern accent.
Nice! What brought you out here?
Adventure. Well that, and I always wanted to be Kelly Kapowski.
The hairdresser laughs as I catch the hottie looking over at me.
OMG OMG OMG!!! EYE CONTACT!!! Keep your cool. Breathe in breathe out, Jen. You can do this.
A few more minutes go by, and his haircut is complete. He goes up to the front to pay, and I notice him writing something on a piece of paper.
He proceeds to walk over to me.
Here, he says with a smile.
What's this? Credit card receipt?
Flip it over, he says as he walks out the door.
I flip over the receipt and read the message.
You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. If I never see you again, I just wanted you to have my number as I'm sure you get asked for yours a lot. XXX-XXX-XXXX
SWOON!
I smiled and was completely shocked. I had never gotten anything like this before. Well, in 5th grade Jason Collins asked me out on his bike, and he gave me a flower. That was sweet, but this was different. I was 19, and a solid B cup.
The hairdresser blowdried my hair, and I RACED home to tell my roomies what had happened.
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! This guy hit on me while I was getting my haircut! Look at the note he wrote me!!!
He passed you a note?
YES!!! In the MIDDLE of my haircut!!!
In stereo: AWWWWWWWWW How romantic!
I have to call him. I make a mad dash for my phone that had been charging next to my bed.
I laid down on my twin bed (I had been sharing a room at the time), and attempted to calm myself down before dialing.
You can't call him now, my roomie said. You've got to play it cool!
Me? Play it cool? I am incapable of playing anything cool, and one of the hottest guys I have ever seen just gave me his number. Do you REALLY think I am going to wait this one out?
<tangent> At the time, I hadn't been in a single relationship. I worked SO hard to get good grades in school so I could finish early ... and I dunno, dating was just never an option. I was ALWAYS however a total hopeless romantic. Dudes, my parental units met in grade school, got married, and are STILL madly in love. For reals - by middle school I felt like a failure in the love department. </tangent>
Fine! Do it! She said as she plopped down on the bed next to me.
I dial his number.
IT'S RINGING!!! I scream.
Hello?
Hi, it's Jen. The girl you just gave the note to at Super Cuts.
Hi, I'm ... *insert the hottest name to ever come out of a man's mouth*
Thank you so much for that note, it was incredibly kind.
I meant every word of it. I'd like to take you out. When are you free?
Saturday?
Saturday it is. 5pm work for you?
Sounds great! Here's my addy, and I can't wait.
Me too.
Bye.
K, bye.
I hung up the phone and started SCREAMING!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I have a hot date on Saturday!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGGG!!!
My roomies and I started dancing around the apartment, and pumped up the radio to some cheesy Britney Spears-esque type music.
In the movie of my life, this would be the dancing around the kitchen table with utensils sequence. Yep, that happened.
I forget what happened exactly, but over the next few days I wound up getting booked for a shoot for some Indian clothing company.
I called the boy and asked if it was possible for us to meet up for a coffee or something instead, and that I was so sorry.
All good, he said! Why don't we grab ice cream before you have to take off.
Ice cream, PERFECT!
He picked me up and we went to downtown Culver City for some Coldstone. We sat outside and he asked me a series of getting to know you questions.
Where are you from originally?
Connecticut!
Oh that's cool, I'm from NY, we're neighbors!
Amazing!
Back and forth ... back and forth ... he's from there, I'm from there. I went to this school, he went to that school. I was listening to every word that came out of his mouth however, it barely sunk in. This guy is SO FUCKING HOT. What is going on with my life?! I think I am going to LOVE it here!!!!
We finish up the ice cream and I tell him that unfortunately I have to get back, but I'd love to do this again.
Me too, he said. You seem really sweet.
We get out of his car, and he stops me by the drivers side before I can cross the street. Right then he kissed me.
Now mind you, this wasn't just "a kiss" ... this was THE KISS that to this DAY I measure all guys by. The second his lips touched mine I very literally felt faint. I grabbed onto his red "everybody loves an italian boy" t-shirt to keep me from falling.
<tangent> dudes, this is totes not a joke, btw. I STILL to this day haven't been kissed like that. It wasn't sparks, it wasn't fireworks, our first kiss knocked me on my ASS, head over heels ... HEAD.OVER.HEELS! </tangent>
He pulls away, and I keep my eyes closed.
WHATTHEFUCKWASTHAT?!?!?!?!?! appeared in the cartoon bubble above my head. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wait, open your eyes and say something Jen.
I come to, still unable to say anything.
Have a great shoot, he said. Let's talk later.
My head nods up and down. Uh ... huh ... Mind you, I'm still standing in the middle of the street.
Oh yeah, thank you. That was fun, I say as I cross the road and press the code for the gate to my apartment.
I look back, and he's still staring.
AHHHHHHH that would have been so much cooler if I didn't look back, I think as I walk faster swaying my bum from side to side.
I get to my door, close it, and slide to the ground. OMG What. Was. That?!?!
What was what, one of my roomies said as she came into the living room.
I think I'm in love.
HAHA after the first date? Really?
He just kissed me ... and I almost fainted. I've never felt this way before, I'm not sure what this is, or what this means.
I look down at my watch - FUCKKKKKKKK!!! I gotta go.
I grab a bunch of different colored bras and underwear and throw it all in a bag and head to my shoot. I forget where it was, but I just remember it being superly duperly far.
The entire drive over I was super fucking giddy. Like not just giddy ... but giddy giddy.
This had NEVER happened to me before. I hadn't even gone out on a lot of dates, let alone felt that kind of chemistry with someone. What was that!?!?!?
I wrap up the shoot, and go back home where I laid down on my bed and watched cheesy romantic comedies. From Pretty Woman, to Notting Hill ... I was all Julia-ed up on being "just a girl, who's standing in front of a boy, asking him ... to love ... her."
I. Had. It. Bad.
A couple more days went by before I heard from him again. At the time I was working a 9-5 in movie marketing. I had been hired from being a temp to now being full time their receptionist. Is there really anything worse than having those kind of butterflies and then being forced to sit at a desk for 8 hours. UUUGHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I thought about when he was going to call me again ... what our kids would look like ... do I even know his last name yet? Would I keep my last name or take his?
I gushed about my hot date to anyone that would listen at work.
To co-workers: And then he kissed me ... and I almost fainted.
In stereo: AWWWWWWWWW How romantic!
Yep, I think this one may be a keeper!
A couple days later my phone rang. I look down, and see his name.
OMG OMG OMG OMG IT'S HIM!!!! Stop it Jen, play it cool.
Hello? I say in my sexiest voice as I open my purple trimmed motorola flip phone.
Jen?
Why yes ... yes it is.
Oh, are you sick? It doesn't sound like you.
No! I say snapping back to my normal tone. Must be some static on the line. Stupid cell phones.
Free for sushi tonight?
Sushi?!?! Of COURSE!
I hadn't really eaten sushi before, but for him - I was willing to learn.
He picks me up and takes me to his favorite sushi restaurant on Robertson. Oishi.
He teaches me how to hold chop sticks, and introduces me to edamame. I sat in awe staring at him. I really fucking liked this guy.
He was 25, I was 19 ... perfect age gap. Ugh! Keep teaching me oh wise one. I am SOOOOOO hot for teacher!
At the end of the dinner, he drove me home and we listened to Coldplay and Death Cab for Cutie. I kept looking over at him wondering how I got so lucky. I JUST moved here. I've spent my whole life hoping for a guy that could keep my attention, and then BAM! Just like that! One falls from the sky? This is insane.
He walks me to my door and kisses me good night. Yet again, I felt like I was going to faint. Standing on the sidewalk he slowly rounds second and my body melts into my apartment gate.
More.
More.
More.
Goodnight, he whispers in my ear as he pulls back and walks to his car.
I still stand there, again, motionless.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatt???
Snap out of it, Jen. Quit being weird. He's still staring at you to make sure you get in safe.
I enter in my code and walk inside. I don't dare look back this time. I know he's looking, I can feel it. I just kept wondering over and over, WHO IS THIS GUY?!?!?!
Later that night, I sent him a text thanking him for dinner.
::beep:: great, we'll do it again soon.
::typing:: hope so ::sent::
I close my flip phone and fall fast asleep.
This guy is incredible. He's so hot, so smart, so easy to talk to ... there's gotta be a catch. There is ALWAYS a catch.
Later that week he invites me over to his place for dinner saying he wanted to cook for me. FYI, that's guy code for hey, I wanna bone.
I happily obliged.
There really is nothing sexier to me than watching a guy cook. I can't cook ... at all. I like cooking, I want to one day take a cooking class as I find it therapeutic - but me in an apron? Not gonna happen. I'm not domestic at all, so the fact that this guy can even cook a fine meal wins MAJOR brownie points in my book.
We wined, and dined, then went upstairs and oh yeah we 69ed.
Sex with him was different. It was the first time that I didn't feel like I was just boning a dude for the sake of boning. Sex with Romeo was sweet, and fuuuucckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk it felt good. The way he kissed me, the way he caressed me ... unreal. Unfuckingreal.
Afterwards I laid in his bed smiling.
Where did you come from I asked him as he blew out the candles.
Where did I come from? hahaha how am I supposed to answer that?
I don't know. Honestly would be nice. Why are you still single? I've never had someone do the things you do to me. It's incredible.
Thank you, he said as he grabbed my clothes from the floor ... and from the stairs ... and from the couch ... and - well you get the idea.
He drove me home as we both had work the next morning, and our kiss at the door lingered on for what felt like an eternity.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I want this. I want this. I want this.
Goodnight, he said.
Good - night, I said. YESS!! I was able to get words out!!!
Alrite nerderinos, gonna take a break here. My ADD is starting to act up. Next up, Romeo loses his job, and I start to lose my mind. Not fun ... at all.
Thanks for reading! =)
Click here to read the next chapter
#kthxbye
