RT (Response) #Fact: Losing Your Virginity CAN Be An Amazing Experience

Jul 26

Alrite nerderinos, el senor Brian Freedman posted an AWESOME post today on how losing your virginity can be an amazing experience, and I felt compelled to comment.

First off, mom and dad - stop reading. Like 100%, under no set of circumstances should your eyes be on this site right now. For reals, I'm still typing - you shouldn't even read THIS part of it ... dude, X out already ... Dad!!! DAD!! GO!!!

K ... doop dee doo ... doop dee doo ... they gone yet? bitchin. Hold up, I need a song for this post, and OMG OMG OMG I heard this on spotify this morning, and just about died ... here ya go ...

So, here's what's up, dude, Brian - I ain't mad at ya, I love love love your writing and your noggin, but dude, a chick's first time is fucking AWFUL. And I'm totally open to be proven wrong on this, btw - here's how I lost my virginity. I don't want to speak for all women everywhere, but having been there, I can say yep! It really was the worst ever ... but here's why.

Women have no idea what to expect when they are being penetrated for the first time. You can't know!!! It's a COMPLETELY foreign and COMPLETELY new experience all together.

I started masturbating when I was around 10 or 11. I don't know how it started but I remember feeling a tingly sensation when I made my barbies have sex, and then when I rubbed something while I was sitting down, it felt really good. Boys parts are on the outside, get hard, and sometime around puberty white stuff comes out. For chicks, it's different - it's not exactly like our sex ed teacher talks about the clit, and even if they did - it wasn't for masturbatory purposes. Masturbation as a teen was a very, very, very, confusing thing.

Flash forward to 16, I'm about to graduate high school, and I didn't want to live in NYC being a virgin (thinking that dudes could smell that or something. For reals, read the story over yonder). I had no idea what to expect sex to feel like. At the time, I hadn't really inserted anything up in there. Tampons seemed super painful, and sex toys were like 7 years away at that point.

Needless to say, when his somethin or other got all up in the punana-na, I am not even kidding you when I say it was EXCRUCIATING pain. Like crazy pain. However, I knew from talking to my friends that that was a constant with everyone. It was something foreign all up in there, and pleasure could absolutely 100% not be derived from that experience; it was just something I had to do ... literally.

Then, I went a few years before I had sex again; sex wasn't pleasurable for me, it was something that I did as a natural progression with the guys that I wanted to date. Period end of sentence. I just so happened at that time to be so focused on working, and so focused on school that it didn't really matter.

Flash foward to me being 19, meeting my first love, and boom! sex changed. We didn't bone, there was definitely a HUGE emotional connection between us, but it was still different. I couldn't even come CLOSE to cumming because that was something I did alone, in my room - and no one knew. It was animalistic, and weird, and I wondered if all girls "did it" this way.

I absolutely 100% never. ever. ever. told him how to get me off because I still didn't really know. Yes, my clit had to be stimulated, but I had no idea how to articulate that pressure, and placement to someone else. He tried, but when you're in that position with your legs in the air, and the guy is trying SOOO hard to please you - how can you not just give him a good fake just so he doesn't feel bad.

Sex in my early 20s was kinda meh. I dated this duderino who we will call "Noah" for almost a year. My first real, serious, like lived together relationship. He was rad in the sense that he was the one that introduced me to sex toys. His aunt did sex toy parties, and she came to the house once and offered up some samples - including the pocket rocket.

HOLY FUCKERDY!!!! Over. The. Moon.

My first vibrator??? Ah-mazing!!! Changed my life. Masturbation got SUPER easy, and fun for the first time.

I used to dig dressing up for him a lot, and being supremely girly - so we hit up lingerie stores all the time. HAHA I wasn't kidding when I posted on Myspace that this came from my personal collection ...

<tangent> and actually to top it off, these were taken DAYS after we broke up. Like literally, I nursed my break up wounds at the playboy mansion. yayyyy lifeeee!! So great being a girrrrrlllllllll!! =) </tangent>

So yeah, we would hit up lingerie stores all the time - and on this one instance I remember seeing this rubberie ring thing with a vibrator attached. (It was basically a glorified cock ring, but I also had no idea what those were at that time.) Wait, vibrator? Like the pocket rocket?!?! OMG!!! Greatest. Thing. Ever!!

It cost me like $30, and I swear, Noah and I had so much sex, it was REDIC! I boned the bejesus out of him. I didn't orgasm since I was still pretty young and in that stage of, omg - do I look fat like this?? Wait, he can't see me from this angle ... omg, this SOOOO does not look pretty.

Totally a joke ... but every chick knows we do it.

So, Noah and I break up ... two more years go by, then I start dating the mentalist. Oh lordy schmick mordy, you all know how that ended. However, I am "grateful" to him, for lack of a better word - because he gave me my first orgasm. I break it down for you all here, but it was great! I was like WOOAHHH so THIIISSSS is what sex is supposed to be like.

Huge.

Huge. moment for me.

Huger than huge.

Eye opening, and consciousness shifting.

That thing that I did in my room totally alone, and was totally animalistic was now out in the open - and guess what, it didn't kill or shame me - he thought it was hot. SUPER HOT!

Sex is a journey, man - like most things in life. There is a biological component to how your hormones react, and there is also an emotional maturity and general aging that makes it all that much better. Should you masturbate? Abso-fucking-lutely. I'm totally going to tell my daughter to one day! There is 100% no shame in knowing what you like, and 100% no shame in asking for it.

I'm not gonna lie though, I can still DEFINITELY be bashful about opening my mouth about that, but again - it's a journey. OMG I love watching porn while boning, but I never really know how to bring that up to a dude. He's obviously supplied the mental stimulation to get that far, but I still need visual. I wanna be ensconced in as much freaky shit as possible - so bring it!! =)

But there ya go, again, maybe this is just me ... but I'll own being a freak, sure as fuck makes life more fun (no pun intended)!!!!

If you can poke or plug it - I'm down to play!! Here's to the animals everywhere! Unleash that inner freak, baby!