Time To Effing #GetItOn: i have a Fornication Under Consent of the King buddy
(I am conducting a new social experiment after my epic 103 dates by using OKC. I am still trying to find the organic root of attraction, but now taking the experiment offline while documenting it still online. You can read more about it here ... and read the rules here.)
So, on night two of my experiment I totes met this duderino that I really liked. Dude, on our first date he took me to an arcade. Way to jump on the expressway to my heart!
We had a few super rad dates after that, and then he could obviously tell I was starting to like him, so he pulled the "sooooooo we're friends, right?" card. I was kinda bummed about it at first but the more I thought about it, it got me thinking that maybe the only reason I was attracted to this dude in the first place is BECAUSE he is emotionally unavailable. For real - what are the odds! How is it I keep sniffing these dudes out? And is that the reason why I like them?
Literally 90 or so of the dates (out of 103) totally wanted to pursue things with me ... like hardcore. It's not that there aren't a plethora of emotionally available men in Los Angeles, it's that the ones that I am attracted to happen to not be.
Dude, even last night - I met this super cute writer at my friend's house party, and he even called me out and used MY OWN WORDS!! He goes, you're totally not emotionally available. I was like jolted out of my beer buzz and said, wait WHAT?! How could you tell? He goes, I just wanna know what his name is!
I am just so confused as to what my next doable action is in this scenario. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, but with my lifestyle the getting under and staying under part is weird for dudes because they become a part of my story. Guys don't like being written about online - it creates this odd inferiority complex since they feel like they lose control and I always end up with the last word.
The arcade duderino and I totally fucking hit it off man, but is the only reason why we hit it off because he's not available? Is that really the organic root of attraction? Good lord, I weep for my own future.
He and I have like the hottest sex too; the toe curling, body shaking, make every hair on the back of your neck stand up - we are anatomically speaking very compatible. No like literally - I wanna add him to my zombie apocalypse list strictly so I have something to bone for all eternity ... repopulation ftw! The only problem is is that I can biologically be compatible with a dude sexually, but for a chick the orgasm is emotionally based. (See the breakdown here) I had an orgasm the last time we had sex, but it's not the same - you can't fully give yourself to a fuck buddy, and I can't be emotionally vulnerable in that capacity. It sucks too because you can be TOTALLY turned on, and have EVERY bit of your engine revved, and then nada. It's annoying.
I dunno man ... I'm just confused. Not with him, I know where we stand, but how how how can I break this pattern?
I'm stoked to get out of LA this week and try to pick up some dudes in Connecticut. I don't know if I'll fully be able to conduct the experiment since I do have to then follow up the dudes I meet with a date, but who knows - I'm there for an entire week, so it should be pretty kosher for passover.
Anyone ever have a situation like this or anything??? I'm very very very genuinely looking for help with this.
I'm stoked I'll be getting laid on a regular basis, but good sex becomes great sex with that emotional connection that can only come from dating someone, and not just fucking them.
#fail
Special thanks to Effing Gear for sponsoring my latest social experiment. Check out their shirts over yonder! They act as a pretty rad ice breaker, man. No complaints!!! NONE!! NONE I SAYYYY!!!!!
