Fun with #OkCupid: Hasn't really been all that fun
oh goodness gracious acious, what a weird couple of weeks on OKC. Alrite, so first, last week, I went out on a date with this nerderino on Opaque in Santa Monica - which is dinner ENTIRELY in the dark. No, like seriously - PITCH black; I sleep with a sleeping mask on and blacked out curtains, and this was literally the darkest state I have ever been in. My eyes took a solid 5 minutes to readjust from the lights, it was bat shit.
First off, it was honestly an incredibly awesome date. Super cool dude, but he kept touching me. It was weird. Albeit we were in the dark, so hahaha - anything was possible, I just don't like to be touched when I'm getting to know someone. I'm not a hand holder, arm caresser, any and or all of the above unless I am dating someone - I just want to do my own thing, so let me sit there and analyize you as much as possible. I'm pretty much a professional dater, so if I kissed caressed every guy I went out with I'd have to dip myself in some hardcore anti-bacterial soap every night. Mama no likey. So, right off the bat - that wasn't cool. Mind you too, I kept trying to find reasons to pull my hand away and that fucker kept grabbing it right back. EEP!!!
I will still totally have your babies, Billy. Either way though, the entire experience was absolutely incredible. It took me a while, but my brain actually started to visualize a restaurant. I forgot that we were in the dark a couple of times since my imagination took over. Was AWESOME! ANNNNDDD, I actually remembered a lot more of what was coming out of his mouth since my brain actually absorbed it, instead of staring blankly at someone's face and analyzing their reactions to things I was saying. It made it a lot easier to get to know someone, AND it was a pretty rad bonding experience. Major kudos on the date as a whole, but I think the guy was just misreading all of my signals. I enjoy people - a lot. He had killer taste in music (dude, we totally rocked out to Mellon Collie and Infinite Saddness ... OMMMMGGG), was super super super sweet, but I wasn't feeling it. I was totally shocked after dinner when we got in the car and he kissed me. I was definitely a bit surprised. I just so happen to be that open with pretty much every single person I've ever met ... haha best question anyone has ever asked me on a first date, "what kind of porn do you watch?" AWESOME! Totally not kidding either, this kid was rad. It just wasn't there, can't really say anything more about it.
I still have such a crush on that boy that I went out with in Culver City and woke up in Santa Barbara. The 2 weeks are now up, (he was just getting out of a relationship with someone, so I told him that we shouldn't talk to each other for 2 weeks just so heads could be clearer) and I'm still not sure what to do. I don't know how to not go after what I want. Seriously, it's a problem. When it comes to ANYYYTHHIINNNNGGGG in life, all I have to do is look at a situation, spend a bit of time analyzing it, and then I can figure out how to break it down into doable actions, and get it done. Literally - anyone can do ANYTHING in life as where there is a will there is always. always. ALWAYS. a way; that is true of course, except for people. It pisses me off, life is too short, and at times my heart can be too big - hence why I am such a guarded individual, I am FIERCELY loyal. I'm a very calm person, but getting my Irish up is ill advised; you fuck with my friends and family - I will google the most heinous and cruel deaths imaginable, and will proceed to smile sweetly as my body rots away in jail for the rest of my nerdy little life. My INTENSE and ABSURD passion for social media doesn't even come CLOSE to my passion for my friends and family. They're my heart. For reals. It also takes a lot to get to that place with me, but once you're there - it's a lifetime membership. I like a lot of people in this world, but love very few. Anyway, long tangent, I just hate being in a space of unknown. I'm a black/white, go big or go home-er, and shit like this just gets under my skin. I'm trying to look at other boys, and trying to put myself out there ... but I'm just not. I can't even fake it well.
This dude that read my foot the other night just called me for a date. Literally, he took off my boot, and gave an oddly accurate reading of my life. Freaked me out a bit, not gonna lie. Not into the psychic shit, but UTTERLY adore exploring palmistry, and now reflexology. I'm half tempted to text him back and ask if he's on OKC just so I don't waste my time with anyone less than 85% of a match. Is that too mean? I just don't believe in wasting peoples times if your bottom lines are too different.
OOOOHHHH life. What am I going to do with you. Dating is so fucking exhausting. Can I just FF to being a cougar already?
Live in LA and wanna date? Click here to send me a message on OKC