#KeepingItReal: 5 Tips to Oral Sex on a Female
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger
Don’t you love the feeling of completely controlling a woman’s body… making her orgasm over and over again until there’s nothing she can do but hang on and scream?
There’s something about taking her past the furthest limits of pleasure that she can endure, and then, when she just can’t take any more… going a little bit farther.
Given that the majority of women surveyed say that they have never experienced orgasm during intercourse, the easiest way to get her to that point is by going down on her. I know that some guys just don’t like giving oral sex, which I have to be honest, makes me scratch my head a bit. I’m always tempted to ask if they’ve ever tried doing it with another guy to see if maybe they are better suited to a different sexual orientation - but I guess the fact is, we are all different, and some guys don’t enjoy going downtown. If that’s you, you may as well stop reading, because this article really isn’t for you.
I’ll give away the whole enchilada right here and tell you that the number 1 tip for driving a woman wild with oral sex is simply this: Enjoy what you’re doing.
If you are truly, authentically, in the zone, just loving her taste, texture, and smell, and really down there for your own pleasure, chances are that you will be driving her CRAZY. There is nothing sexier for a woman than passion, and when you are totally involved in her body, she can sense that with her mysterious female ability to read and respond to our emotions.
Here are 5 more tips that are guaranteed to tie her knots and have her screaming the bolts in the bed-frame loose.
1. PAY ATTENTION : This is pretty much the biggest rule for any guy that wants to learn to be great in bed. And while it sounds stupid and obvious, the vast majority of women will tell you that the vast majority of men just don’t get this technique at all. As guys we are always so wrapped up in our own heads asking ourselves questions like, Is she liking what I’m doing? …Is my dick big enough? …Should I flip her over or keep doing what I’m doing? …Is she as good as my last girlfriend? …Am I as good as her last boyfriend?
And just the fact that you’re reading this might suggest that sometimes when you are in bed with her, you are thinking about some technique that you are going to try on her. All those things kill it for her, AND frankly, they kill it for you too. It’s much more fun to be present and engaged in what you are doing.
When you are really tuned in and paying attention to her body, you will figure out for yourself exactly what to do and how to rock her world like never before. Every woman is different, and if you don’t master the art of paying attention, you’ll forever be stuck doing something to her that works great on some other girl, but isn’t necessarily the best thing for her. Even asking a woman what she likes in the bedroom is never a replacement for paying attention, because so many women have never been with a truly great lover. It is very likely that she doesn’t know herself what things really drive her crazy.
2. DON’T ALWAYS DRIVE TOWARDS HER ORGASM: Men also tend to be obsessed with “getting the job done.” They want to know how to make her come. Exactly. Step by step. And then just do that furiously all night long. Relax. There’s so much more to sexual pleasure than orgasm. And when she FEELS that you are obsessively driven to make her orgasm, it puts a lot of pressure on her to come so that she can please you. And when she puts that kind of pressure on herself, it can actually prevent her from ever reaching a climax. So chill out and enjoy each other’s bodies. There’s a lot of sensual pleasure to just going slow and letting it build up. Kiss her down there, trace the alphabet across her lips, tease her until she can’t stand it anymore. Otherwise it’s just like renting a DVD and skipping directly to the last chapter. The rest of the movie is part of the fun.
3. DEVELOP YOUR SENSE OF RHYTHM: If you are one of those guys that can’t dance and has no sense of rhythm - this is a problem.
There is a reason that women are sexually attracted to men who can dance. It is because women are very tuned to rhythms.
It’s not enough to find out the exact spot on her body and exactly how much pressure to apply to get her to reach orgasm. You’ve got to also get the right rhythm.
Now I’d like to tell you the exact rpm or bpm to get this right, but you will have to go back to tip #1 above.
Experiment with different rhythmic pacing and then “pay attention”.
When you find the right beat, you will know it, because she will start to go crazy. And once you find it… just stay with it. Keep the beat steady and she will very quickly reach orgasm.
4. CHECK UNDER THE HOOD: As a woman gets closer and closer to orgasm, the fold of skin where the labia meet at the top of her vagina begins to move down over the clitoris.
This fold of skin is called the “clitoral hood”, and why the clitoris wants to hide under this hood when she is getting closer to orgasm is one of nature’s more frustrating mysteries, because for some women it actually keeps them from getting there.
What happens is, she gets more and more excited, and then the clitoris recedes beneath the hood and the sensation drops off, and suddenly she feels the excitement die, and she just can’t figure out why she can get so close, but can’t ever have an orgasm.
The solution is simple if she is with a skilled lover.
Just place your thumb in the fold at the very top of her vagina and pull gently upwards to expose the clitoris. And then have at it.
Quick note: Some women can’t take the intensity of direct clitoral stimulation and prefer a gentle touch on the sides of the clitoris at the 11 and 1 o’clock positions from the clitoral head.
For women like this, pulling the hood back and licking directly on the head of the clitoris might make her yowl and crash up through the ceiling like you just hooked 200 volt electrodes to her vagina.
Like all powerful techniques: handle with caution.
5. TREAT HER CLIT LIKE EXACTLY WHAT IT IS: The clitoris is ontologically analogous to the penis. Which is a fancy way of saying that, at some point in mommy’s womb, before you can tell whether the embryo is a boy or a girl, the same bit of tissue that becomes the penis in men, becomes the clitoris in women. And if you treat it the way you like your penis treated, you’ll usually get good results. That means you can try stroking the sides up and down with your fingers as if you were “jerking it off”, and you can try sucking it up into your mouth and using an “in-out” motion. If you go back to rule #1 and pay attention to what works, you’ll probably get some amazing results with these techniques.
6. ADD OPTIONS: I know I called the article “5 Tips…”, but I’ve got one more that I want to share and “6 Tips…” just isn’t as good a title for an article. Plus, I like to over-deliver. (Another good thing to try in bed with your girlfriend, by the way). So try this: Add G spot massage while you are using your tongue on her clitoris. Insert 1 or 2 fingers into her vagina below your chin, with your palm facing upwards. Then curl your fingers in a “come ‘ere” motion along the top wall of her vagina and her G spot. At the same time, find the rhythm with your tongue on her clitoris. You might even pull the hood back using the other hand. If you get the rhythm and pressure right with both G spot and clitoris, she will rocket into a high altitude orgasm orbit that will blow her mind. Enjoy these tips responsibly, play safe, and be nice to girls always.
To learn more about the female orgasm, check out this episode: Episode #101 Susan Crain Bakos Interview
Editor's note: Want the female perspective on the female orgasm? Check this out over yonder!