#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick ... (how to ask out a server)
It is my goal for 2012 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy dudes out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life.
Here is one I got last night on Facebook chat (which FTR I am not actually always on. My Droid Charge leaves me logged in 24/7 and I very genuinely do not get all of your messages. Stupid Facebook chat on the stupid Droid Charge. BAH!) ...
K ... I've been a server before for years and years and years and I will let you all in on a little secret - there is never a tacky moment to tell a woman she is beautiful.
It's not the time or place that makes things awkward or "tacky" - it's the approach. What you need to do if you find a server attractive is this ...
1. Be geniune. Women have this very freaky ability to call out bullshit; we get "how you doin'ed" all day every day ... but the one guy ... the ONNNEEEEE guy that called us beautiful, and genuinely meant it- we remember. BE THAT GUY!!!!
2. Write her a note, don't ask her out immediately at the table. She's going to be "put on the spot" and wonder if her tip is going to be effected by her answer. You might want to smile a little extra sweetly, or strike up some sort of small talk asking her what her favorite special is or something ... but when you're dealing with a hot server or bartender the position of power is shifted. You want something from her, but her answer could also depend on how much she could make this evening, and to servers who in most states don't even get minimum wage it's a HUGE deal.
2. At the end of the meal leave a note in the check. All servers check this obviously, and it's a way for you to leave it open to her to contact you without making her feel uncomfortable. It used to happen to me a lot when I was serving and every time I would at least call the guy back and just say thank you. I was incredibly flattered. One dude I served over at the Milk and Honey here in LA though found me on google and emailed me on this site. Dudes, I haven't worked there in 2 years - and his approach was creepy not cute. (Read his email here)
That didn't work. But here is an example of what would have worked ...
I just have to say that I think you're really beautiful. I didn't want to embarrass you in front of my friends/family/ ::insert whatever:: - but I'd love to grab a drink or coffee with you sometime.
::insert name and number::
BOOM! Short, sweet, and to the point. Telling a woman she is beautiful will never go out of style, and if for whatever reason a chick gets pissed at that, be glad you know up front she's a beyotch and didn't waste $20 on booze!
Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com
ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!
Best of luck out there nerds!!
xoxo <3 @JenFriel
