Alrite @JenSquard I will accept your challenge ...

Jan 23

Can't sleep. Hipsters will eat me.

This is a response post. Click here to read what started it. It's kosher, I'll just sit here and wait. Doop dee doooooo

I am going to be painfully honest in this post, haha clearly, Jen I knew you were in a rut. It had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with being a producer and managing this brand. I read all your posts and 1 and 1 wasn't equalling 2 - we just weren't getting the full story. In most cases, yes, I would agree if I am seeing something in a scenario it is merely perspective ... this was fact. I just don't know how else to word it.

Working in social media really fucked with my head. Prolly for the better, but the jury is still out on that one. We all sit there and think that we are special, and unique - when VERY LITERALLY you are not. People are so fucking predictable it BLOWS MY MIND! Even your reaction to being called predictable is FUCKING PREDICTABLE. I can't stand it ... and a big part of me wishes I hadn't learned what I know about people. I can profile people, for lack of a better term. Dude, that sounds so secret agent hahaha ... but I VERY LITERALLY live in my own little world where I fell off the grid, and watch things in a neutral way enabling me to predict based upon certain behaviors and actions what is going on in your noggin. Dude, I can do it right now in this coffee shop ... amplify that with social media and the fact that we are PUBLISHING these thoughts, and actions and you just have a recipe for awesome. I can look at your default picture on Facebook and tell you 10 things about yourself. Trips me out ... but again, you're not special - you're awesome! It's a skill what I can do ... I just don't know how to properly articulate it ... it just is. Bottom line, I very literally knew you had shit going on, and I wanted to crack your shell. Period end of sentence. That's my job as a producer ... I am the ultimate pot stirrer.

As far as not sharing? I dunno ... I'm along on this journey with you all. I admit everyday that I know nothing. I'm on a really rad lil' spiritual quest that is opening my mind up more and more everyday. As far as yay life and awesomeness in general are concerned ... I would have to disagree - everyday I very literally DO feel that way. It trips me out! I lead an INCREDIBLY simple life with no expectations. I just operate from this place of gratitude. The fact that the sun is out right now and it is 75 degrees in January right now in southern California is MAKINNNGGG MY LIFEEEEEEEEE!!!! Holy amazeballs ... it's appreciating EVERYTHING in life, and furthermore I designed a life for myself where EVERY SINGLE THING I touch throughout the day is fueled by passion. I gave up everything I owned, and acquired only the essentials in life based upon sponsorships. I eat. sleep. and breathe PASSIONNNNNNN!!!!!!! I fucking LOVE IT! It just blows my mind that something like this worked ... and I just can't believe it some days. Which is why I get in people's faces about doing something with their life because ANNYYOONNEEE can do this!!!!!!! I know anyone can do this because I'm not special, I'm awesome. There are MORE of you in this universe that can do the SAME SHIT for yourself. So go do it!!!!!!!! BAHH!!

Life is awesome, but it has nothing nothing nothing to do with a single outside influence. I have discovered the absolute ONLY thing in life I need is music. I can go outside right now and sit there literally all day, and as long as I have headphones in my ears - it will be the GREATEST DAY EVVEERRRRRRR!! It just is. Life is so special, and I am so grateful for it everyday.

What are some insecurities I share? I am scared shitless that I won't find someone that can keep up with me. The majority of philosophers throughout history have all been single - there's a reason. I think there is a point in life where you can know "too much." I also hate the fact that I don't have a lot of people to look up to. I have Buddha and Steve Jobs. Literally. I'm different than a lot of people in the webspace because I view what I do as art, not really a business; we're a lifestyle brand for sure ... having people come at you all day everyday wanting to advertise and do shit when their products are complete crap is boring. I'll take respect and credibility over money ANYDAY. I have a right brain mentality in a left brain world. Bitchin.

I get lonely a lot, which sounds weird because I am surrounded by people all day everyday, but I haven't found anyone I can really relate to. I just live in my own little world ... I wonder if this is the most genius thing I have ever done, or the most psychotic. There's definitely no inbetween. I can't turn my brain off. I can't just hang out with my friends and kick it anymore ... I can't stop thinking about this space, and where its going and what it all means. It's bat shit and I dig it.

That's it ... and that's me. Just being, just is-ing. Thanks for reading ... this sums the rest up pretty well. =)