Damn you #purplepeopleeater

Wow ... I feel like I had the wind knocked out of me all day. Yesterday was a superly duperly awesome mcawesome sauce day professionally ... but personally, was kinda heavy.

See, someone really close to me has something. They've asked for me not to share it with all of you, sorry nerds, so instead of saying what it is ... I am just going to call it the #purplepeopleeater, call the treatments eggs, sunny side up ... and the person associated with it is named Ralph. 

K. Let me see if I can articulate what I am feeling now.

BAHH!! I can't believe Ralph ate his eggs, sunny side up yesterday. Kinda freaky. I've seen the #purplepeopleeater before, but it hits you differently when it is THAT close to home. There's only one other person on this planet that could hit closer to home, and good lord, that is a scary thought. This entire thing in general is just incredibly scary. There really is just no other word for it. Even just the eggs, sunny side up, completely drain me. Hearing how they're cooked, the effects after, you can enter this world of purple people eating with the best mindset, and just the overall sunniest of sunny dispositions, and no matter what - it fucking sucks. For reals. I'm trying to process it with my friends saying, hey - so this is happening ... but I don't want sympathy, because I don't really feel sorry. We're all going to die. Ralph is a rockstar, in a very very freakish manner. I know he's going to pull through and still be a complete smartass. I love it. But it catches me after every other thought that wow, Ralph has the #purplepeopleeater and yesterday he had his eggs, sunny side up. That is just the most insane thing I have ever heard. It is just a shock to my system. I have no other way to say that.

I feel like talking about it is the only way I can process it, but I don't really know who to talk to. I don't want other people's drama associated with purple people eating. I know that sounds really cold, but I've lived so much of my 25 almost 26 years of existence processing purple people eating in one way shape or form, I'm so over it - I'm actually under it again. I just keep cuddling inside my spirit hood not wanting to leave bed. I just want to find some abandoned lake, where I can scream over and over and hear an echo back. I just want to hear my own voice process it, but I can barely muster up the strength to let the air release from my body. So exhausting. 

I haven't called Ralph yet. I talked to Ralph's beau this morning, and she said he's doing well ... which is clearly amazing - but in this weird state of intermittently crying over mundane things. A joke will enter my mind, a memory from childhood, I mean anything. I just can't even hear Ralph's voice right now. Is that weird? I feel like it's insensitive, but if I am feeling it - how can I deny it. I just need to compose myself a bit more. After all, I am still sitting in my sock monkey pjs. No code word there, haha! I love these things ...

#ThatIsAll

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