#WTF: You're part of my story! Because we didn't have that threesome, I met my husband & we conceived our daughter that night!
... and that was said within the first five minutes at the bar on Saturday night. Didn't think there was much that could shock me - but that did.
Oh, AND MY FRIEND LITERALLY HAD HIS HEART SHOCKED ON FRIDAY!! I thought THAT was the craziest thing I had ever heard.
Ugh ... gather round, story time!
On Friday, a buddy of mine had surgery on his heart due to an irregular heartbeat. (Because that's what happens as you get older. Your body starts decaying and your friends start to have problems like this.)
I offered to stop by and bring him some food, but getting what he wanted out of him was like pulling teeth.
Dude, your heart stopped today. Spit it out, what do you want?
Honestly, he said just some company.
Done.
Never one to go anywhere empty handed, I brought some mac and cheese that I picked up at the store and brought it over. (You can't be mad at mac and cheese.)
How are you feeling? I asked.
Like I got kicked in the chest by a horse.
Understandable, I said.
Everything happened exactly as they said it would, which was great but also really weird.
What happened?
I went in, and after they hooked everything up they told me they were going to give me a shot that was going to taste like bad tequila. Then, they had to numb my tongue (so they said how weird that was going to feel). They were right. Next, they put a mouth guard in my mouth so I didn't bite down too hard (during the shock) and destroy my teeth. After that, they administered anesthesia and I fell asleep. Apparently after I fell asleep they placed tape on my mouth closing it shut while they shocked me. When I woke up, they told me I would have a sore throat (which wasn't that bad) and I was going to feel like I had fluid in my lungs. 100% accurate.
How long was your heart stopped for?
A few seconds, he said as he showed me the pink print out from the procedure.
Woah, I said staring at the very dead line of zero activity. This is literally the craziest thing I have ever seen.
You're alive, I said in jest while actually touching him ...
but your heart ... it stopped.
Science is fucking awesome.
Yeah, he said. Outside of the general pain I feel better than I have in three years.
How did you get the irregular heart beat?
It came from a virus on a trip to India. My heart has only been operating at 7% for years. Bout time I did something about it.
I'd say, spoken with sincerity and overall relief that he was okay.
We watched a movie together, and somewhere around 11 he started to fall asleep so I skedaddled happy that he was okay.
A few hours later I got a text ...
I then took Buster for his final walk for the night, and was stopped on the street by a gentleman driving.
Is this street one way? he asked rolling his window down.
I look at the road, very clearly a two way, and say uuuhhhh - no.
Thanks, he said. Still stationary.
Dude, you should call a car service. Leave your car here, it's not worth it.
<tangent> I wasn't sure if this guy was drunk or high, but his car was on the wrong side of the road and there were no lights on. </tangent>
He then sped away as I shouted YOUR FUCKING LIGHTS DUDE!! TURN THEM ON!!
He did, and unfortunately because it was so dark I couldn't get a plate, nor did I even have a clue what kind of car that was. It was like a fancy smart car.
I then went to bed, and stayed in bed until the early afternoon. I watched the documentary Soaked in Bleach on Netflix. Holy crap, soooooo good!! I love how they told the narrative, and the tapes are absolutely compelling.
So good. So so good.
I then had to run out and find an "ugly sweater" for an ugly sweater Christmas party the modern day shaman @realityadjacent invited me to.
<tangent> After the 103 dates in 9 months he reached out offering his help. When a shaman calls, you motherfucking answer. We're still really good friends, and even had drinks a month ago and bumped into one of my slaves.
Awkward.
</tangent>
I went to Buffalo Exchange on La Brea, and decided instead of an ugly sweater, I would do an ugly sweater poncho. See, I had two parties that night (something that doesn't happen very often), and had to go from the ugly sweater party to my OG LA bestie's birthday party. It was at a swanky restaurant on the sunset strip, and while I'll definitely "own" anything, I also wanted to look cute.
I put on the poncho and paired it with a blue suede romper, and black knee highs with sky high heels.
<tangent> See, the romper could easily go two ways. I could either look like a zookeeper, or look like a fashion model. It's "edgy" and while I love animals more than anything, I definitely wasn't game to look the part. (pun intended) </tangent>
My heels are easily six inches, so when I (carefully) walked downstairs the security guard took notice.
Wow, he said. You look great.
Thank you I said in an attempt to play it cool all while I was hoping to not eat shit.
I then grabbed a LYFT and headed to the hills somewhere near Los Feliz.
I arrive at this big house on a VERY steep hill.
Steep hill + stilettos = bad news bears.
It was only 25 or so yards, but knowing that I had a glass of wine beforehand meant I wasn't willing to take a chance.
Think logically Friel, I said to myself as I went up the hill slightly to walk to the curb.
Three options:
1) Take off your shoes and walk down the hill.
2) Leave
3) Call the modern day shaman and ask him to help you down (if he is actually here)
I texted the shaman ...
He came outside with our mutual friend and very very very talented photographer Catie Laffoon.
AHH!! I said so happy to see her (it had been years and years), as I laugh at this awkward predicament.
That is seriously the girliest question I have ever had to ask a guy, I admitted to the shaman as he laughed.
(I'm a very stubborn human being when it comes to feeling "helpless." I don't do that "damsel in distress thing" - ever.)
Jump on my back, he said.
Done!!
... and just like that, I unintentionally made quite the entrance.
The party was incredible. The majority of the people there worked in the entertainment industry, so they dressed to the ABSOLUTE nines.
I caught up with Catie and the shaman as we grabbed a drink.
Congrats on everything, said Catie.
Congrats to YOU!! I said you crazy fantastic rock-star photographer (literally, her photos are so dope).
Who do you want to play you on the show?
I have no idea, I said. Two things people ask me about the CBS show:
1. Am I going to be involved? - yes
2. Who do I want to play "my character"?
I view everything with Talk Nerdy like a kid going to college. You have goals, and a vision but that part of it is done. It's (I'm sure) going to be super weird to have my life stories told by other people but to be honest I'm so focused on "what's next" that I don't even give it too much thought.
I'm reminds of that scene with McConaughey and Carrie from Sex and the City ...
Jen, come here, said the shaman, I've been wanting to introduce you to someone for years.
Jen this is M. M this is Jen. You're both awesome, he said as I outstretched my hand.
Nice to meet you! I said.
M is responsible for the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Oh, I said laughing thinking to myself clearly he's an up and comer.
You have to hear Jen's story M, said the shaman. She has a new show coming out on CBS but her life is ridiculous. She started this blog, and it took off big time.
Thanks I said thinking, well, it's not the fucking Lord of the Rings - but I'm doing something "write."
I walked away from everything. I fell in love and moved to an island, I am still in shock that it actually sold, and still oddly creeped out about being back.
Wait you were on an island? Like a literal one, or are we speaking figuratively?
I do live in the land of my own imagination, I thought.
No an actual island. Islamorada in the Florida Keys. I honestly never intended on coming back, but now I want to work my way into the writers room of the show, and learn TV writing.
Good for you, he said. Your writing must be very authentic if people were still seeking it after you left. Let's meet after the holidays.
Done, I said exchanging cards.
Shamans know the most interesting people, I thought.
Shortly there after I had to head down to the sunset strip to meet up with my friends.
I can't thank you enough for the invite, I said saying good bye to the shaman. What a beautiful house and great people wearing fantastically ugly sweaters.
Let me walk you out, said the shaman.
Thank you, I said with a genuine smile, gratitude, and a steady elbow to hold onto.
STUPID HILLS!!!!
I hopped in my LYFT and I'm not sure what happened, but the driver got lost and said he was going to stop the route halfway through so I wouldn't be overcharged.
Huh? I said back.
I didn't have service up there, so it wasn't populating your destination. It's not a true charge.
Wow, I said thank you for being honest. I then thought about it for a second and wondered if I should jump on the phone with a friend or something. If he ends the trip there's no proof of where I am. I am just literally sitting in a stranger's car.
I always always always listen to my gut, and even though this situation made me uncomfortable, I could tell I was actually fine.
(Which I love that 30 something Jen thinks of these things. 20 something Talk Nerdy Jen would say YAYYY!! Let's go to Mexico!!! No no. No more. Seen it. Been there. Sold that.)
I arrive at Bar 20 minutes later and meet up with everyone.
Chelsie (birthday girl) rolls deep btw ...
I say hi and walk over to the bar. I had been forewarned that there was only one bartender, so order two!
Done, I said approaching the bar.
I was standing there for five minutes until I was greeted by a familiar face.
JEN FRRIIIEELLLLLLLLLLLL, she said very excited.
Remember the night of R's 30th birthday party?
Yep, I said.
OH! I remember that, I said awkwardly laughing.
Well, that night after you left we all went to The Abbey and I not only met my husband but conceived our first child! (She has two now.) You're part of my story!!!
Holy shit, I said with my jaw completely open. Am glad things seemed to work out for you, I said laughing at how RANDOM that is.
AND you know my first boyfriend. Remember (insert his actual name)?
Wow, blast from the past but yes. He was The Finance Guy on Talk Nerdy.
I couldn't stop laughing at this point thinking Los Angeles, you are one strange place.
So good to see you and glad things worked out for you, I said as I walked over to the table to sit down.
Now Chelsie is a connector, and while people have come and gone over the years - at the end of the day we're all there to support one another and genuinely don't care that "so and so missed a birthday, anniversary - whatever." The first sentence out of any of our mouths upon reuniting is "tell me everything!!" spoken with genuine happiness upon hearing what you've missed out on.
No judgements, we're all just "there" for each other. Always have been, always will be.
I sat down next to this gentleman named J (whom I had not met before), and we instantly began shooting the shit.
You have this "presence" about you, he admitted as I almost spit out my wine laughing.
No, I'm serious, he pressed. You're like an urban legend in this group, and while I don't know you I do know your face is going to be on the cover of Forbes very soon.
I laughed to myself knowing that I still don't even know what I'm going to be when I grow up!! I just went through my first "sale of a company" and learned how badly I messed up the freaking filing. This shit ain't easy when your first business plan was written on a table cloth and your "doctorate" is in the school of hard knocks and hustlers.
Thank you, you're very kind, I said, but anyone can do it. It's not about capability, it's about willingness to go down the rabbit hole. I am naturally an insanely curious person, so everything just flowed - I don't know how else to describe it.
You just did, he said. I wasn't going to come here tonight, but now I get it. He continued, I've been wanting to leave my job. I've felt it, but people kept telling me I was crazy.
I laughed, look at everyone at this table. They all thought I was crazy. Well, let's call a spade a spade, I'm absolutely insane - but what I saw was something different. You're seeing something different. It's your job to follow. You don't even need me to "tell" you this, you already know!
Thank you, he said.
We then connected on Facebook, and a handful of us rallied the troops to head over to The Woods.
Sometime way past sobriety, I grabbed a LYFT and headed home.
What do people in Los Angeles do on Sundays after a "big night drinking?"
We brunch.
Traditionally you do it to decompress all of the WTF moments, but with this group, it was more like a family reunion.
The group then exchanged gifts (which I was not a part of because like with most things in life, I was clueless. Is it tacky to show up with cash? My Connecticut Etiquette said yes.) as we had way too many carafes of mimosas.
Look at that table of eight over there, said one girl. They have one carafe. We have one carafe per person!!
The group started laughing as we all clinked glasses.
IT'S A SOCIAL!!
One of the girls then had to get up from the table (and being on the end meant that I had to get up), and as she did I turned around and saw a familiar face.
Remember Noah from Talk Nerdy?
Well, I stayed friends with two of his friends (they both work in tech so it was a no brainer), and he literally happened to be sitting behind us.
I pointed, clearly not shy.
Holy shit, Jen Friel, he said standing up to give me a hug.
I saw Alex (girlfriend) and wondered if you were around here as well.
Yep, here, I said obviously inebriated.
Have you been busy? he asked.
Ehhhh, yes? I said which I feel like is a state of mind, but whatever.
We should catch up. Done, I said.
And there you go. That was my weekend.
How many people can say that their failed threesome lead to not only a marriage but two kids!?
FYI, I miigghhhtttt leave that part out when your kids one day ask how you met. Their future therapist will thank you.
OH OH OH and just in time for the holidays, my latest obsession Manservants.co released a new video. Watch:
Recognize the familiar face? Read about my Manservant adventure here
