#RealDeal: Living on both ends of the spectrum (The "fun" side of manic depression)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Brandon. We started talking on the Facebook not too long ago, and lemme tell you, this guy can throw in quite the few kneeslappers in his emails. Yep, see Brandon is a comedian who is here today to tell you the real deal on what it's like being "on the circuit." I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT BRANDON!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @BrandonComedy
I’ve never been good at thanking people or accepting help, but over the past year (especially since coming public with my illness) a number of people have stepped up and kept me from falling back into a really dark place, and I thought I’d thank them here.
The Best Friend is just that, she’s my best friend. She provides perspective, and honesty, but isn’t afraid to call me a fucking idiot douche bag (or kick me in the penis at Target). She’s always been there for me, and she has put up with some crazy behavior from me. She forces me to see things from different angles and constantly inspires me to be better than I am. At the end of the day I know I can go to The Best Friend with any problem and get an honest assessment of the situation. She won’t ever tell me what I want to hear, only what I need to hear.
The Ex and I had a weird relationship based primarily on sex and my ego. We never got to know each other until a year (and 360 miles) had passed. Getting to know her has been incredible. She’s one of the stronger people I know, and she is so incredibly forgiving. Having her in my life has taught me a lot about tolerance, forgiveness, and owning cats but not being a crazy cat lady. I wish I’d been better to her. If I’m ever a decent boyfriend to anyone, it’s because she was such a caring and patient girlfriend.
Letter Girl is great because we have a remarkable amount in common (mental illness, drug abuse, religious rebellion, short hair, and other stuff) she provides a ton of perspective. Also, her friendship has proven to me that you can transcend HUGE fuck ups (see here). She also regularly calls me on my shit, just like the Best Friend. She’s totally down to tell me when I’m being a narcissist or using someone, or just being fucking weird in general. She also makes and maintains eye contact when she talks to me, which tells me she not only hears me, she’s listening.
The Musician reminds me of me, had I remained more wide eyed and ambitious. She’s incredibly talented, hilarious, and more optimistic than I could ever hope to be. She reminds me that even in my lowest moments I have something to offer someone, that I’m a worthwhile person, and that good things happen. When I met her I totally anticipated hating her, she was loud, controlling, chaste, and annoying. I now talk to her every single day about everything. Being her friend makes me treasure, and look forward to surprises.
Red never bullshits me ever. Ever. She is perhaps the quickest to tell me when I’m being dumb or not thinking something through all the way. I’ve known her for years, but only recently have we started talking, and I’m glad we did. I don’t think I know anyone more blunt than Red, and that sort of abrasiveness (which is hiding a true sweetheart btw) is so necessary.
And of course, Jen Friel. Jen runs this blog and was the first person to inspire me to be open and honest about my headspace. Without her I’d probably still be moping around depressed, keeping entire sides of myself from the world. I’m forever in her debt.
Also, a huge thanks to anyone and everyone who reached out after the first blog. It’s been a roller coaster, but a manageable one. Not everyone “got it” but that’s okay. It was the first step toward being more honest with who I am and what I deal with on a daily basis. I’ve had people reach out and say that I’ve inspired them to go to therapy, confront old demons, and re-examine old friendships. None of those responses were expected, but are delightful nonetheless. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I feel better for it.
For the first time in years, I am taking real steps at being the man I want to be.
Thank you!
Brandon
#nerdsunite
click here to follow Brandon on twitter & don't miss his blog over yonder!