#EpicFail: Remember that one time a super gorgeous guy hit on you and you froze? Yeah. Good job.
You did NOT follow the feather mentality Friel. Bad! Bad! Bad! FUCK.
I was totally just caught off guard by an insanely gorgeous human being. He was in fact so gorgeous, I give this category of gorgeousness its own level ... level: adonis.
Dudes at level adonis are too pretty to look at. You're not quite sure what to do with them, but you can't help but feel this magnetic pull and fantasize them fanning you with a big leaf and feeding you frozen grapes on some super exotic beach in some far off place.
To see one in the wild is one thing ... to have him then HIT ON YOU BLATANTLY and yet I DID NOTHING is just ... wow.
FUCK!
Wait no. Wrong song.
Picture it ... Wells Fargo ... West Hollywood ... 30 minutes ago ...
I was running around all morning finishing up some errands. It's incredible how quickly I finish mundane but necessary tasks now that I have a car again. MAKES MY LIFE!!!
Either way, my last stop was to Wells Fargo. I normally don't visit this branch, but I was pissed off that there was no parking at my regular one so I figured I was going to have to make this work.
I go in fill out my deposit slip. No problem.
Walk up to the little line and wait. No problem.
Less than two minutes go by and this guy approaches me from behind. (pun intended)
Is there anything I can help you with? he asks as I turn.
No, I say mid-swivel. I continue ...
I'm just waiting to be ... I then stop mid sentence and see HANDS DOWN the hottest guy I have seen in a very very long time. I continue ...
... helped.
Well, do you have cash or checks to deposit? he asks getting closer.
My brain barely operates at this point, but I am able to look down and show that I have cash in my hand.
I still say nothing.
Ah, I can't help you with the cash then. Let me see if I can light a fire behind this counter and get someone to help you though.
He then steps out of line and walks around behind the counter. I try not to stare but my eyes have a mind of their own and have already decided that the hunt is on, and MAMA LIKES!!!
I wait in line for a minute or two longer as I stare at him wondering who he looks like.
He's a perfect blend of Ian Smoldehalder ....
and Enrique Iglesias when he lost the mole and became super hot.
He had the features of Ian, with the coloring of Enrique. He was definitely latin mixed with ... something. Solid tan with GORGEOUS light blue/ green eyes. 20 something. MAYBE 30 at most, but not based on appearance, rather his position at the bank and the way he carried himself. Extremely confident and had this "take charge" attitude that created a very visceral response in my body.
Buttah. My legs became buttah.
The teller then opened up and I made my best attempt to walk super sexy up to the counter. Of course with my legs being like butter and my stomach full of butterflies I executed something close to a twitch and a jerk that at least got me from point a to b -technically classifying it as a "walk."
I approached the counter, and the teller said it was good to see me again.
These guys have GREAT memories as I had been there in the past, but again, not my regular bank.
We then chit chat for a bit. I ask him how his day is going etc. etc.
After all was said and done I thanked them for the stellar customer service as always.
For reals, I said to the teller. You all are always SO wonderful, and I love banking with Wells Fargo in general. It's great, and sounds cheesy but I always leave with a smile.
The manager then approaches with a bottle of Fiji water.
Well thank you for saying that. I'll make sure to note it on his next status report.
He then reaches over and hands me a bottle of Fiji water.
What can I say, he says placing the water down on the counter, we do what we can for our very beautiful customers.
Now freeze this moment right here.
Any NORMAL human being in this situation would playfully flirt back. If you're a chick, maybe you'll flip your hair, find some reason to stay in the bank, maybe ask to open a checking account, or get a private tour of the vault. You know ... normal stuff that will give you ANY excuse to stay longer and talk to the adonis.
What did I do?
Let's unfreeze and find out.
Without even acknowledging his compliment, I look down grabbing my roll of quarters, receipt, and bottle of water and walked out.
I think I might have thrown in a "have a nice day" but I definitely didn't say thank you, and definitely didn't look him in the eye to say hey baby, I like you back. Wanna grab drinks Friday night? Rawwrrrr.
I opened the door leaving the bank and said over and over ...
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
WHO DOES THIS?!?! I'm a "dating pro," remember? How is it I'm SO good at everything online and literally make a living off of it, yet when it comes to traditional peer to peer IRL flirtation everything that I thought I knew just goes right out the door.
HE CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL AND I WAS ONLY IN MY "THIS IS MONDAY VERY NATURAL MAKEUP FLIP FLOPS, T-SHIRT, SKIRT, MINIMAL ACCESSORIES OUTFIT!!!"
THIS IS LOS ANGELES PEOPLE!!! Sure, in any other part of the country a chick with natural makeup on and a "not trying to impress" outfit is cute but in LA it means you don't have your shit together. People go with full on makeup and a red carpet ready ensemble to the grocery store out here. I live in the most beauty obsessed part of the city!!!! The fact that this guy didn't seem into all that and jived with a more natural look makes him THAT much more attractive.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Well, now at least I have a new project to focus on outside of work. Hello, cute Wells Fargo bank manager, my name is Jen Friel and I am about to become your new best friend. =)
