#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (the overly attached non-girlfriend)
It is my goal for 2013 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life.
Here is a question I got on Facebook the other day ...
Wait, hold the phone. You brought a chick two dozen red long stem roses? This was your FIRST date? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND?!?! Did you know roses have meaning based on their colors? (Most chicks know this FYI) ...
Red
Red roses are the traditional symbol for love and romance, and a time-honored way to say "I love you." The red rose has long symbolized beauty and perfection. A bouquet of red roses is the perfect way to express your deep feelings for someone special. Read More – Meaning of Red Roses
Pink
As a symbol of grace and elegance, the pink rose is often given as an expression of admiration. Pink roses can also convey appreciation as well as joyfulness. Pink rose bouquets often impart a gentler meaning than their red counterparts. Read More – Meaning of Pink Roses
Yellow
The bright, sunny color of yellow roses evokes a feeling of warmth and happiness. The warm feelings associated with the yellow rose are often akin to those shared with a true friend. As such, the yellow rose is an ideal symbol for joy and friendship. Read More – Meaning of Yellow Roses
White
White roses represent innocence and purity and are traditionally associated with marriages and new beginnings. The white rose is also a symbol of honor and reverence, and white rose arrangements are often used as an expression of remembrance. Read More – Meaning of Orange Roses
Orange
With their blazing energy, orange roses are the embodiment of desire and enthusiasm. Orange roses often symbolize passion and excitement and are an expression of fervent romance. A bouquet of orange roses will send a meaningful message. Read More – Meaning of Orange Roses
Lavender
The unique beauty of the lavender rose has captured many hearts and imaginations. With their fantastical appearance, lavender roses are a perfect symbol of enchantment. The lavender rose is also traditionally used to express feelings of love at first sight. Read More – Meaning of Lavender Roses
First mistake was right there. Under NO circumstances should you EVER give a chick red roses on a first date. It comes on WAY too strong and is something you give once you are in a committed relationship. Period end of sentence.
<tangent> This goes for gifts in general, btw. Remember the time I got a David Yurman necklace and two dozen white roses? Creeped me the freakedy freak freak OUT!!!!</tangent>
Also, you introduced her to your brother? If I'm on a first date and see a friend I MIIIGGHHTT go over and say hey, but family? OH HECK NO!!! Family doesn't get to meet ANYONE you are dating until it is getting on the "serious" side.
You then kissed, held hands, and hugged????!!!! First date?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!
Now, after all of this, you're pissed that she wants to spend more time with you and have sex already?!?!? Could you have sent her ANY MORE mixed signals? You made this bed, now you have to lie in it.
Alrite, some advice ...
1) If you're just looking to hook up with chicks take them out to a bar, buy them a couple of drinks and keep it casual. When you have "grand gestured" dates like this you're setting a false impression in a girl's mind. If either party is looking to just hook up you just arrange to meet at a bar and see if there is chemistry. You have to follow the k.i.s.s. mentality in that regard of "keep it simple stupid." Anything above and beyond is going to set a false expectation in the girl's mind and no doubt you're going to end up hurting her.
2) No flowers, no gifts, NOTHING in initial courtship. Give it at least 3 dates before you start down that path. Again, you're just getting to know each other at that point and gifts can send the wrong message, or in my case, can offend someone.
3) Do NOT get the family involved until you understand how you feel about the girl. Having a girl meet your family (even in a super casual way) is going to cause great confusion. Bringing in the friends and family is a cue of emotional investment. Until you understand your feelings for this person it sets, again, a false expectation.
4) Figure out what you want. I give dudes that come straight and say they just wanna hook up a lot of credit on dating sites. I am personally way past that stage in my life now, but I'll always write back giving props at the honesty. You never know what stage a woman is going to be at in her life, but by you stating your intentions in a clear manner it won't set the false expectations you are currently showcasing for these women.
Figure out what you want, articulate it in your first few messages to these women, and again keep it simple stupid. Quit with the over the top dates until you find one that you really like.
Thanks for reading hope this helps!! xoxo
Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com
ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!