#WTF: About this weekend ... can I get a rundown? (getting guy to strip in bar & Antonio)

Sep 4

High-larious. I actually got a perfect stranger to take his shirt off within 30 seconds of meeting him yesterday.

It was pretty brilliant but required some jedi mind tricks to get out of when everything was said and done.

Alrite, first up the song that goes with this post ...

So, for those of you that don't live in LA or might not be aware that it is summer ... but it's been hot as fuck the entire last month in my apartment. It's horrid actually and since we don't have air conditioning I'm left with bug bites swimming in a pool of my own boob sweat.

Pretty it ain't.

To get over it I try to spend as much time as possible at the beach. Saturday, I was supposed to meet up with @chelofthesea to grab a beer on the promenade but unfortunately there was a miscommunication and she wound up going to the bar's other location in West Hollywood.

Sad panda.

I then popped on OKC to see if there was a guy that I wanted to meet up with.

I browsed through the profiles for about 10 minutes and I realized how sad all of this still made me.

I'm so done with this. I'm done with all of this.

I then thought about the commitment I made to myself about seeking "more" and wanting to actually "date" and not just casually meet up with so many people.

I should verbalize my commitment, I thought. No more OKC locals. I use it as a crutch too much and if a guy wants to go out on a date with me, he's going to ask me to a dinner in advance. Period end of sentence.

I then got an email ...

I smiled.

Everyone sees it. My friends all last week commended me for not only talking about making a change in my life but actually following through and facilitating the change necessary.

I'm very much an action oriented person. I don't just talk about doing things or talk about getting things done ... if I've set my mind to something I am DEEPLY committed to following through.

No casual dates, Friel. Stay strong.

I then finished up my beer and headed back home having one of the besstttttttt nights sleep ever.

Literally. I woke up Sunday and could FEEL the fact that things were changing in my life.

I might not know what my next goal is, but for the first time I'm okay with it. I feel satisfied deeply on a professional level and now it is time to clean up my personal life. I am so so blessed to have UNBELIEVABLE friends in my life, but I haven't seen most of them in so long. I've neglected their needs, and taken their companionship for granted. SO NOT KOSHER FOR PASSOVER!!!

I woke up Sunday morning early, going for a jog, followed by writing out the post from my crazy Friday night going to the gay bar and waking up with a boy in my bed.

When I was done I caught the bus and walked to the beach from the promenade.

I stared out at the water thinking everything over ...

I've always been so sure about what I wanted, I thought. From the time I was a child, I always KNEW that I'd live in LA, that I'd work in either tech or entertainment ... all of these goals were such no brainers to me.

I then executed them successfully, and now it makes me feel hollow. I thought success was going to be fufilling and it's instead terribly empty.

Where do I go from here, I thought?

As I was sitting on the beach an older Russian gentleman then approached me.

Excuse, he says. What day today? He pointed down to his watch which had the date and day on it (although in Spanish).

It's Sunday, I told him.

He then pointed at his watch again which reflected that it was Saturday.

It's not Saturday, I said.

He looked confused and I obviously realized he didn't understand a lot of english.

Would you like me to fix your watch? I asked.

He then takes it off sitting down on the beach next to me.

(I ride dirty btw when I go beaching. Towels and big bags are too cumbersome. Give me flip flops, a sundress, headphones, and I am a happy little clam.)

I then reach over collecting the watch and fix the date and day to reflect the current time.

I need something back from this man in return, I said. I just did him a favor, now he needs to repay the karma.

This guy was EASSSILLLLYYY 80/85. I have no idea where his friends were, or where his family was. He was just some old dude chillin on the beach cruising for girls.

Life, I said pointing out to the ocean. Tell me what does it mean, I say as I shrug my shoulders. (This was my best attempt at communicating since English wasn't his first language).

He smiles, revealing two missing teeth on the left side of his face.

Be hoppy, he replied.

Be hoppy? I said with a smile.

Thank you, very much. Enjoy the watch and get home safe I said as I helped him up.

Moments later I then got a call from Antonio.

Are you free for dinner, he asked.

Yes, I said. I'm over in Santa Monica on the beach actually. I can meet up in about an hour.

Perfect, he said.

I continued to then meditate looking out over the water and then brushed myself off hopping the bus over to see him.

We then went to dinner and again, as always, I was lost in the little cocoon that becomes our shared space.

You seem so much happier this week, he said.

I AM!! I replied back enthusiastically. I'm scared out of my mind wondering what is next, but I've created a list of goals resonating in my bliss and now I'm going off one by one and taking care of it.

He smiled gently caressing the hair from my face.

<tangent> I have ABSOLUTELY no expectations with Antonio. He's made it very clear that we can't date, but I genuinely enjoy spending time with him and he's helping me grow so so much emotionally.

I've never been the one to break things off with men - I've ALWAYS been the one that has been cheated on, or dumped. It's horrible. Horrible. Horrible.

I'm an extremely loving person but INSANELY guarded which has actually impeded me from moving forward with most men. I get called an ice queen over and over, but not because of who I am it my core- its more like processing through all of the scar tissue. </tangent>

I don't know how exactly Antonio does it, but just has this way of not only calling me out when he feels like I'm being guarded, but allowing me to feel really safe with him.

I can't describe it - but I legitimately know I am a better person because we've met and because we've spent time together. I don't need anything else from him and I'm genuinely at a place now where even if he said he couldn't see me again ... I'd understand. We're friends, and it's a hard place to be in with someone you're so attracted to - but I'd rather have him as a friend than nothing at all.

We then went out with some of his friends and then the next morning we laid in bed talking.

I could talk to him for hours, I thought.

We don't have sex, we don't even really cuddle - it's just this ... comfort. He's familiar to me, and any woman that ends up with him would be SO lucky. (And if she breaks his heart I'll break her fucking legs. period end of sentence.)

He then had to go and meet up with a friend and I said I was going to go back to the beach, but that if his plans changed he was welcome to join me.

I then grabbed a cab back over to the boardwalk and face planted on the beach again.

When I first moved to LA 8 years ago I would lay in this same exact spot I was currently in for hours and hours and hours every Sunday people watching and meditating.

I did it, I thought to myself. 8 years ago in LITERALLY this same spot I wanted to be everything that I am right now in this present moment.

That is a powerful thing to experience.

I'm home, I said.

After all of the traveling, all of the dating, and journey into self discovery - I have finally made it back home a wiser, and hopefully a more compassionate person.

Jon and I met when AT&T sent me to SXSW. He was the winner of a Galaxy and in return he took me as his date to see Jay Z!! AMAZING!!I then got a tweet from @justjon saying he was in the area and wanted to kick it.

AMAZING! I said!! I just got done over at the Sidewalk Cafe, but they don't have good cell service, so let's head over to the Whaler on the pier.

We then walk over, meeting up with two of his twitter friends as well.

Jon then orders everyone a pitcher of beer as I see two dudes sitting across from me ... staring.

Mind you, at this point I had now spent two days in a row face planting on the beach and I am STILL in my same dress from yesterday, with literally no make up on ... and I haven't showered. Beach hair in FULL effect.

What the hell are they looking at? I wondered.

I continue catching up with Jon and talking to his friends.

After about 15 more minutes I still notice the guys staring.

Hi, I say reaching my hand across the bar. I'm Jen!

Hello, he says back introducing himself.

I like girls with tattoos.

Oh, looking down at my wrist - these?

Do you have any tattoos? I ask

Yes, he said lifting up part of his sleeve.

I can't see them though.

He smiles and then proceeds to unbutton his shirt stripping in the bar.

I look over at Jon and smile.

Would you like to sit here, I said motioning to the bar stool next to me.

No, he said kicking out his bar stool. You sit here.

I laughed knowing what he was doing ... he wanted to see me stand up.

I'll play this game, I thought. I just got you to strip so I'm still one up. BOOHYAH

I then sit down and am introduced to his friend.

Did you tell her what we said about her? He asked.

No, I said.

His friend then gets closer to my face ...

You're an undercover hottie.

Excuse me? I say

The original guy then turns me around getting inches away from my face.

You're not wearing a drop of makeup are you?

Uhhhh, only whatever is left from yesterday, I admit praying that I don't smell from not showering either. I've been relaxing at the beach all weekend.

We then start talking, and the guy tells me that he is a carpenter.

Is it your passion? I ask

No, he confessed. Medicine is, but I was put away for assault and battery so I can't practice.

Ah, I say trying to keep a straight face.

I then look down at his arms and see a bunch of names.

Are those for your children? I ask.

Yeah, he sharply replied.

How many do you have?

HAHAHA he laughs, these are just the ones I know about.

I look over at Jon laughing thinking you can't make this up!!!

We then continued to talk for a bit, and it was the strangest thing ever, he didn't ask a SINGLE question about who I was. He was SO focused on the visual commenting over and over and over how pretty I was even putting his hand over my face every time I smiled.

Look at that megawatt smile, he said. Jesus, girl.

I then thought about attraction in general and a conversation I had had with Antonio earlier in the day. Men are so so so so so so visual, but women GENUINELY don't care.

When I look at a guy I analyze him on whether or not he can be a good provider, whether he is happy and at a good place in his life, how much he intellectually stimulates me, his emotional range .... looks are def a plus, but they are NOT the whole package. Looks to a girl is like the bow on a gift. It's nice to have, but not the whole present - merely part of the overall presentation.

Antonio couldn't wrap his brain around all of the guys that come after me and want to date.

I explained to him, you have to understand though, as a female there is ALWAYS quantity - period end of sentence. However, women are after the quality not just the sheer volume.

This guy didn't ask me what I did, he asked me where I was from not out of caring - but rather for his planning of our supposed date later in the week.

I'm in Encino. How can I get to you?

Uhh, I'm in Hollywood - I said.

(half truth)

Let me get your number.

I then grabbed his phone and put in my old cell phone number.

Wow, you really know your way around that thing, he says motioning to his Droid.

Yeah, I'm kind of familiar with tech toys, I say with a smile.

He then highlights my number and calls.

FUCK, I thought, guys always always always do that, and I hadn't strategized fast enough to turn off my phone so I could claim that the battery was dead.

Realizing this was going to create a very awkward moment in a matter of seconds, I then inched closer to his face. If this guy was actually that hypnotized with how I looked, I could for sure distract him long enough for him to forget that he was actually calling me.

I inch closer ...
and closer ...
smiling ...
DESPERATELY trying to keep a straight face.
He smiles inching closer and closer to my face putting his phone down as he does so.
PERFECT I THOUGHT!!! THIS IS WORKING!!! I MADE HIM FORGET THAT HE WAS CALLING ME!!!!

I then look over to my right and just past Jon's shoulder I spot a familiar face.

Holy crap!! That's one of Antonio's best friends!!

YOU!!! I shout out at the top of my lungs. (I'm terribly shameless)

I then popped up from the chair biding my new friends goodbye.

It worked I thought as I walked away laughing.

I can't believe that fucking worked!!!

I then introduced Jon to Antonio's friend.

Want to come to this house party? he asked.

Sure, I said!

I gave Jon a big hug and told him we'd talk soon.

I then met up with more of Antonio's friends and we all walked over to a house in the neighborhood.

I laughed thinking out of ALL of the bars in Venice - I mean sure this is one of the more popular ones, but we were only there for an hour. What are the odds his friend would walk right up to our table without knowing?

We then walked into the house and all the way up to the roof. There was a solid group of us now, and there were about 5 or so already on the roof.

One of the women there started talking about her daughter saying she was on her way over.

How old is she, I asked?

3 weeks away from being 3 she replied.

Oh goodness, you must have your hands full.

Do you have any children? she asked.

No, I say, but I worked at a daycare, summer camp and was even a nanny for a while. Animals and kids FLOCK to me I say laughing.

Moments later the daughter arrives dressed as a little fashionista with a bright pink hat, floral dress, and dora the explorer flip flops.

Hi, she says, sitting down next to me.

Hello, I reply back.

I like your shoes. They're very pretty.

She smiles, saying thank you - articulate as can be.

There is no way she is only two I say looking back at her mom.

Yeah, I know. Tell me about it she's talking like a 4 year old.

AT LEAST, I say.

Can I see your flip flop, she says pointing at my shoe.

I take it off and she puts it on her toe.

Her mom smiles. You're really tuned into kids, I can tell.

I smile back as the little girl turns and says, can we be friends?

Only if I can high five you though, I say sticking my hand up in the air.

The little girl then reached up and gave me a high five. Our friendship sealed for all time. AMAZING considering my declaration earlier in the week. See how fast things can manifest? Look at that!

Next up, I have a date tonight- like a date date, planned WAY in advance and everything. He's taking me to dinner and I've really been looking forward to this. We had to cancel a few weeks back. Seems like a rad dude. Older, super fancy pants business man.

OH!! And I just found out I'll be in San Francisco from Sunday til Wednesday night next week. I'm going on a corporate sponsored trip (more deets soon!!) YAY!! Let's kick it guys looking forward to meeting more of you.

And one more thing ...

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