#Randombling: That Nerdy Chick

Aug 31

Randombling: A 5 minute long unedited random stream of consciousness produced by a nerd for nerds.

#nowplaying: Jeremih - Down On Me

What a week this has been!! Very little talk and almost all action.

I am so, so, so happy that I got rid of my old cell phone number, btw. My phone has been nicceeee and quiet with nothing but AMAZINGLY warm messages and calls from people that I care about. Everyone was great but concerned that I had some new crazy stalker. More on that in a second though.

I thought I was going to have that number forever. I know some people change their number every few months or years ... but that was MY number for EIGHT freaking years. Big deal ... huge change.

Even this morning I was talking to one of my best friends (I've actually known her since I was 12 and she lives out here in LA now), and she was floored at my level of commitment.

I want more from my life, I kept telling her. "Success" isn't going to be measured by my job; it's going to be measured by my character and the relationships that I have in life.

I literally had no intimate relationships before this week.

It's totally all my own doing. I was the one that never reached out to people, or called them to see what was going on. I'm super close with my family, but my friendships wittled down to literally nothing but random comments and get togethers via social media or text messages. That's so not kosher for passover.

On a semi-related note, I legitimately did pick up a new stalker this week. Completely unrelated to changing my phone number, but this guy outside of io/LA that is pantless and rocks a loin cloth just over his penis has been waiting for me. It's super creepy. This morning I got off the bus and he was there. He waited for me yesterday too, and the day before. He just stares at me inching closer and closer each time. Obvi, he's a transient, but what is the law around that type of thing? This is a free country I know, and he has ABSOLUTELY every right to occupy the street as much as I do ... but what do you do when it's legit becoming a problem?

I'm not gonna lie I'm super creeped out by it. He tried boarding the bus with me last night and the bus driver wouldn't even let him on. He then proceeded to just stare at me - it was really really really creepy. Like serial killer movie type shit.

I have an ENORMOUS amount of empathy for people like this dude, but he's very legit off his rocker and I just don't want to get attacked again.

I won't live in fear of it, obvi, but I just need to figure out my next doable actions and find out what my rights are. Hmmmm

OH! I'm also going gay bar hopping tonight (so I can dance all sexy sexy and not be bothered) ANNNDDD I have two super fancy formal dates lined up in the coming weeks. One guy is taking me out to this sushi restaurant I've been dying to try on Tuesday, and another is flying in from London in a few weeks and is taking me to a nice dinner.

See, this is how normal people date.

I'm actually very much looking forward to both dates - and I feel this excitement and anticipation around it. Dates in the past were always just something that I did to occupy my time.

Wow, it's amazing how desensitized I was to life!! That's an occupational hazard for a lifecaster!!!

Either way, so UNBELIEVABLY grateful to everyone for their warm blessings this week (and advice on seed money!!). It has been very hard going through this life cycle so publicly - but all I know in life is that I know nothing ... and MAN is it awesome.