#RealDeal: The Five Self-Proclaimed “Nerds” to Avoid on Dating Sites
<editorsnote> Steven Cobb is a professional web developer and an amateur dating coach who is passionate about helping men and women find their perfect match. He lives in the Bay Area with his family. Among his current projects is online publishing for DatingMoxie.com, a website that reviews and analyzes the biggest brand names out there in online dating. </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Steven Cobb
So, you finally signed up for a dating website, and you’re browsing people’s profiles. The problem is that it’s really hard to decide who, if anyone, you want to try talking to. Some people are obvious rejects: the ones who expressly state that they are looking for the opposite of what you want, the guys that put “killing puppies” under hobbies, the girls who have 3 kids but say that they’re “waiting until marriage”- these are easy to spot.
Sometimes though, it’s not that obvious. You’re a self-proclaimed nerd and you’re looking to find someone who also appreciates the nerd lifestyle. Unfortunately, this does not narrow your choices, because it seems like just about everyone and their gangster brother is describing themselves as nerds these days. But there are certain indicators that the nerd in question is someone you should avoid. Here are the terms that people use to describe themselves that imply that you may be better off just clicking the “next” button.
The “Insert Movie/ Book Title Here” Nerd
Pop culture is great. Geek Culture is better. And getting caught up in a fantasy world is a lot of fun. But you are on a dating website. If you are defining yourself by a movie about wizards or a book series about vampires, elves, dwarves, or all of the above, you are telling potential mates that they had better appreciate that book or it is over. There are a lot of “nerd” trends out there. To limit yourself to one seems pretty confining, doesn’t it? So avoid this close-minded person unless you’re just as obsessed about that one fantasy tome as they are.
The “I look kinda nerdy, but…” Nerd
Again, some of these things are perfectly acceptable for people to say in everyday conversation. But the fact that they are putting this in a public forum that they are trying to woo people with changes things. The information in this profile should be things that are either important to them or define them. This person is obviously self-conscious about their looks. They do not embrace their nerdiness and are probably not happy with their lives. The same can be said about the variation - the “Yeah, I look like a nerd, whatcha gunna do ‘bout it?” type. These people are just as self-conscious, but are more aggressive about it. You know the old saying that you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with somebody else? You also don’t want to date someone who is not happy with themselves, because they will never be happy with you.
The “My humor is too nerdy for you” Nerd
This person is a hipster-snob who knows all things nerd. Mere mortal nerds will never be good enough for them. They probably know canon for every superhero comic and have every elemental table joke known to man memorized. Don’t waste your time trying to please this person; they are probably compensating for something anyway.
The “I spend all my spare time organizing my Magic Card collection” Nerd
This statement is obviously not true, because this person created an online dating profile. Also, these are as bad as the first type of nerd because they limit themselves to one interest. You want someone a little more well-rounded than that, don’t you? If they need to define themselves by one thing, doesn’t that raise a flag about the other aspects of their lives (which hopefully exist).
The L33T 5p34k-3r
R34lly? You’re going to strain the eyes of potential dates by making them replace numbers with letters in their minds? Yeah, there are two main reasons this is a bad plan. 1). That’s too much effort. 2). If you’re using a so-called “elite” language, you go into the 3rd type of nerd category. These people are trying way too hard and probably use video games to escape from their depressing lives.
These are just a few of the stereotypes people use to describe themselves that indicate they are probably not a desirable person to be in a relationship with. Are there more that you’ve stumbled across that the world should be aware of?