#RealDeal: Baiting for Success (Closing A Cute Clothing Store Clerk in 2 Minutes)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan; he's a dating coach. Wait, not like "a" dating coach ... lemme rephrase that, he is THE dating coach. He has a show on SiriusXM called "Game On" and he's a super smarty pants when it comes to examining social dynamics. No ... like for real. HIT IT JORDAN!!! </editorsnote> 

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

You’ve probably made this mistake 10 times this week already.

You go to pay for something you picked out in a store and the clerk is absolutely gorgeous.  While your mind races to find the “right” thing to say, you wind up missing the opportunity.

I witnessed a textbook example of a guy doing it wrong, immediately followed by a guy doing it right.  Here is how it happened:

I was waiting in line behind two guys, both about the same age and both with average looks.  The clerk ringing us up was stunning.  The first guy approached the checkout counter and placed a few items next to the register.  The clerk initiated the conversation:

Beautiful Clerk: “Hi, how are you” (relatively dead-faced, because she greets 1000 customers per day the same way)

Guy1: “Fine…how are you?” (his mind racing, probably trying to remember a good clerk routine or how to do the cube game)

BC: (still relatively expressionless) “Fine”

Silence.

BC rings up the items, places them in a bag and hands them to Guy 1.  He leaves, wondering what he could have said to get something going with her.

THEN, the second guy approached the counter.  This time, before she could even address him, HE initiated the conversation.

Guy2: (with a relaxed smile and sincerity) “Hi – How are you?”

Beautiful Clerk: “Good – how are you” (smiling and looking G2 in the eye)

G2: “Fine…(long pause) annnnd a little bit tired.”

BC: “You too huh?” (her tone is suddenly animated) “I went to this concert last night – it was awesome; they played 3 hours straight and we wound up getting home at 2AM.  THEN just 10 minutes ago my girlfriend called up to say someone just gave her a pair of tickets to tonight’s show at Red Rocks (a gorgeous local amphitheater).  We’re gonna ride our bikes there tonight.  I can’t believe it – I don’t know if I’m going to make it – my friend is nuts!”

G2: “You’re BOTH nuts!  But not for biking – I could never go out with a girl who doesn’t love biking.

BC: Laughs

G2: “Ok, enough chit chat – ring me up, Armstrong – I’ve got to go, but I’m texting you tonight to find out if you made it.  (pulls out his phone) What’s your #?”

BC: “That’s forward” (smiling, pauses, then tells him her number)

G2: “I go biking every Thursday afternoon – its great conditioning – wait for my message and maybe you can try to keep up with me sometime” (laughs, takes his bag and leaves)

What made the difference?  Guy 2 did two made two important things that led to his success:

By initiating the conversation, he interrupted a pattern of interaction that the clerk has thousands of times every day.  When he interrupted her pattern, he got her to notice him as different and not just another customer.

He BAITED the conversation.  When she asked him the very mundane “How are you?” question, he answered “fine” and added the BAIT “…annnnd tired.”

By BAIT, I mean he added something to the conversation that the clerk could, if she were interested in interacting with him,  ‘bite’ on and use it to continue the conversation.  Notice how G2’s addition of “….annnnnd tired” was not funny, brilliant, or anything too hard to come up with.  It was simply different, and honest, and something that she could have asked him about, elaborated upon (as she did), or ignored, depending upon her interest level in him.

He also made some other good moves including assuming her interest in him, behaving confidently, taking the lead in the conversation and telling her what he wanted her to do (not asking her anything like “would you like to go biking sometime?”)  Basically, he treated her like he would a friend.  But even if you’re not yet at the level of confidence to pull off the rest of his pickup, ANYONE can put some bait out there.

Next time you’re about to have one of those conversations we all have 1000 times, BAIT your answer, and watch what happens.  At worst, nothing happens.  At best, you’ll connect with someone you never thought you would, effortlessly.

#nerdsunite

If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com.  You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook.