#RealDeal: What MOST Girls Want?
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Jordan; he's a dating coach. Wait, not like "a" dating coach ... lemme rephrase that, he is THE dating coach. He has a show on SiriusXM called "Game On" and he's a super smarty pants when it comes to examining social dynamics. No ... like for real. HIT IT JORDAN!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger
I get asked many questions that start with, “How do MOST girls...” They want to know how most girls feel about relationships, how do most girls think about sex, how do most girls feel about one night stands, how do most girls feel about being approached, what do most girls look for in a guy, how do most girls like to be kissed, how do most girls like to see a man dressed, where do most girls like to go on a first date, why do most girls go to the bathroom in pairs or groups” the list goes on and on.
Here’s the cool thing about women. There are so many different kinds. There are an infinite number of variables when it comes to looks, personality, intelligence, sense of adventure, interests and every other quality. And within each one of these variables is a scale. If she’s adventurous, she could be just a little more so than most, or maybe she plans yearly treks out into unexplored wilderness. She’s fun, but fun can go from a dry sense of humor to outwardly boisterous and silly. She might be all about Monty Python or she might be all Dane Cook. She might be smarter than most, or she might just be smarter than you. She might be a size 8 and five feet tall, or she might be a size 8 and six feet tall.
Here’s the cool thing about guys. There are so many different kinds. When you say you want an adventurous girl, maybe you’re thinking of someone who would want to go on weekend outings with you. Frank from down the street might be looking for a partner for his next Everest attempt. You might want the family and picket fence one day. Joe next door wants to be a rolling stone. You might wear a suit to work but drive home on your Harley. Your friend Bill might consider a striped polo instead of a solid one to be a bold fashion choice. You might be quiet and reserved when first meeting people, but you open up when you’re amongst friends. John might be wild and crazy and charming to all the ladies when he’s out, but if a girl gets him one-on-one, he gets flustered and shuts down.
So now we have the infinite variables of all of the men to add to the infinite variables of all of the women. Your variables color how you see the world and how you rate what you want on that scale. Your own variables will actually define the women’s variables in a very different way than how others will define them. This is why so many questions about what MOST women are looking for or want cannot be answered in any other way than, “It varies!”
Some of these questions do have a straight answer. Most girls are looking for someone to ultimately make them feel provided for and protected. Most girls really, really like sex. Most girls want a man who they can trust to lead them. Most girls are attracted to a man whose body language shows confidence and self-assurance, and whose personality is congruent with what his body language is conveying.
Under the umbrella of those concepts, you have to let go of “most,” and get out there and experience the next layer of variables for yourself. “Most” turns into “some” Some girls like sweet gentle kisses. Some girls like latex and paddles. Some girls see the world for its potential and its beauty. Some girls see it as a place to be wary and cautious. Some girls are as pretty on the outside as they are on the inside. Some girls are prettier on the inside than they are on the outside.
Some girls want to be married as soon as possible. Some want to keep things light and unattached. Some girls like goths, some girls like suits. Some girls will wait for you to make every move, some will be more forward. Some will challenge you in a good way, some will annoy you horribly.
Some will be just right.
The greatest fun of this game, this mating game, is that you get to choose how you want to convey that you embody those attributes that most girls are looking for. There are many ways to show that you’re a provider, from simply sharing your food to owning a palatial estate on a private island. There are many ways to show you are a protector, from giving her your coat in the rain to saving her from imminent harm.
There are so many ways to have good sex that there is an entire library’s worth of books, movies and magazines as well as an internet that explain how to go about that. These posts and the Pickup Podcast are fantastic resources, as they are devoted to teaching you how to develop confidence, leadership, proper body language and congruence, so you can provide what MOST girls are looking for!
#nerdsunite
Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company. If you dig this and want to learn more from Jordan and The Art of Charm team, then visit http://www.theartofcharm.com. You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook.