#Status: It's complicated (the theme park called dating)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Tiffany. She's a recovering love addict making her way through this new digital age with a complicated Facebook status and an even more complicated view of life and men. She's here to discuss today her latest and greatest, and I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT TIFFANY!!</editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Tiffany Davis
In my little bit of experience in dating, I have found dating to feel a lot like visiting a theme park-Wildly Unfulfilling.
Recently I took my 15 year old son and his best friend to Six Flags. We drove close to three hours to get there, paid $20 to park, took the long trek from the parking lot to the theme park entrance, waited in line to give our grossly over priced tickets to enter the park, then made our way to the first thrill ride. Upon arriving to the end of the line a sign read, “wait time from this point 60 minutes”. Disheartened, we got in line anyway. We stood around waiting patiently and bored out of our minds until it was finally our turn to get on the ride. Filled with excitement, fear, and anticipation; we took our seats, buckled ourselves into restraints that we hoped would keep us secure for the twists and turns we were sure to endure, and away we went. As the ride slowly climbed to the top of the peak, many things went through my mind, but mostly I was asking myself why I had put myself in this place. I knew that the closer we inched to the peak, the closer we were to a decline that would send us into a frenzy of adrenaline, terror, exhilaration, ups, downs, and ultimately would jerk us to an abrupt end. And to top it all off; after all that work, the waiting, the patience, the anticipation, it would be over in minutes and we inevitably felt utterly unfulfilled. Because just one ride would not quench our thirst for a thrill, we would once again jump into another long line to do it all over again, in hopes that this ride would be the one that brought excitement and fulfillment like no other.
This all got me thinking about the experience of dating. The dating/single scene is by far one of the most interesting scenes I have ever witnessed or been a part of. Of course there are singles who are single by choice and are not looking, but they are the minority. Most single folk are looking for their perfect match. So-they spend lots of money and time to look their best, they open their wallets for nights on the town, waiting in line to get into the hottest clubs, or just simply waiting in line to buy drinks. They wait patiently (and some, impatiently) for that exciting connection that could lead them to the peak of dating pleasure, anticipating that this time, it won’t come to an abrupt ending. Once they make the connection and embark on the ride, they fasten themselves into the comfy space called “hope”. “Hope” will keep them secure enough to endure the ups, downs, twists, and turns of the exciting roller coaster ride that we call dating. After the initial excitement, often times reality sets in and the end of the ride is imminent. Wildly unfulfilled, and jerked back into submission, they get back in line to do it all over again, because the next ride could be “the one”
I realize this all sounds very cynical, but it is what I have witnessed first hand. I don’t like the single scene or the theme park called “Dating”. I have found it to be the most unsatisfying thing I have ever done, besides actually visiting Six Flags. It all feels like such a racket to me. In both experiences I was left feeling violated on many levels. So, what is one to do? As I see it, we have two options. 1. Keep getting on the thrill ride, securely fastening into “Hope”, possibly plunging to your death; or 2. Choose the Merry (Married)-Go-Round, safe, and secure, fulfilling, but not nearly as thrilling. While the Merry-Go-Round seems boring to some of us in line for the single scene ride, there is something really fundamental and sweet about getting back on the horse and enjoying the scenery. Sure, we see the same scenery over and over again, but if you look hard enough, you may see something you didn’t see before. It can be thrilling to look at things with new eyes with each go round’. I guess it is just a matter of what kind of thrill you are looking for.
Where does that leave me in the theme park called “Dating”? After my experience on the single scene ride, the merry-go-round is looking a hell of a lot more appealing to me. Does that make me any better off? Not necessarily, but it’s all a matter of perspective. I am happy to be taking this particular ride, right now. That could change, but that’s the beauty of the ride we call “Life”, you can always jump into a different line of thinking and choose a different ride.