#FootFetish: I just got topped from the bottom (an exploration in domination)

Jun 16

SOOOOOO if you guys haven't heard, I have accepted my first foot slave.

Yep, true story. It all started as a joke with a tweet regarding my feet hurting and genuinely grew into this enormous thing.

I obviously have dominant traits as someone who runs a business and is a fucking pitbull in the field - but in my personal life I could not be more zen and more of a hippie. I really do love love love just flitting about seeing where life takes me, and sexually speaking being very submissive.

I've never been a dom in my personal life, but figured instead of being freaked out by all of the emails I got with guys asking to rub my feet, I could actually explore the culture and report back my findings from a very honest perspective.

The result after my first session?

I. FUCKING. LOVED. IT.

I posted on it for both this site, and in my Suicide Girl's column - but hadn't talked to the guy much after. It had less to do with him and more to do with genuine life busy-ness.

THEENNNN a few days ago I got this email ...

I read it while I was out so I forgot to respond at first ... but I just filed it away figuring I'd get to it at some point.

Then, on Thursday I got this message on Facebook from a reader of this site reminding me once again of the slave ...

Him: Hey there, do you respond to messages? I'd be interested in how your foot slave exploration is going? As a man with a foot fetish, I noticed a few things in your initial article that resulted in you losing out a little bit !

Me: What do u mean

Him: Ok, well, from the outset, you're in charge Jen.

"He didn't want me to speak to him or address him at all - I was instructed to ignore him and be mean to him as much as possible."

You should never be INSTRUCTED. You're the domme, he is the sub. You're completely in control and should feel comfortable to do things however you like. You shouldn't be here just to fulfil his fantasies. You should get the maximum pleasure out of this situation. Everything should be about you.

Also, he wants you to be really dominant with him, but he'll never tell you this outright during the act. He'll only do it in advance, as mentioned above. During it, he'll hint at it.

Things like 'I hate that we have to cut this short, he says as he stops, but I have to go now.' - He doesn't want to leave. He's here for you. He wants you to tell him that you don't give a shit whether he has to go or not, he's here for YOUR pleasure right now, and he'll be allowed to leave when YOU say he can. But he won't say that outright, because he wants to hear it come from you.

Interesting.

I then popped on my iPhone and immediately sent him back this message ...

I then popped back on Facebook on my iPad ...

Me: Amazing! I just reprimanded him via email.

Him: You don't have to thank me Jen, like I said, you're in charge, this is all about you. Another thing, I read on one of your tweets that you initially thought he stood you up. Not acceptable, it should be a privilege to be allowed to massage and pamper your feet and he should be available at a click of your fingers. Whenever you want a foot massage, you should be comfortable in demanding one, not whenever he is 'free'. If he can't meet your expectations, then trust me, you'll be able to easily replace his arse, there are plenty of foot guys that would beg for the privilege.

You threaten him with that damn right he'll be right there.

Seconds later I got this email on my iPhone ...

SUCCESS!!! I thought as I got back on my iPad ...

Me: Exact email: If you want to continue with me in any regard - do yourself a favor
and never ever address me that way in any capacity. You are here to
please me; The details of your incompetence does not interest me. I
will give you a time and you will accept or I move on. Period end of
sentence.

Him: That email is exactly how you should feel comfortable talking to him. However, is that email in response to something in particular, as I've only read your article on your initial meeting? Has he stood you up again?!

Me: He said he wasn't sure if he could continue seeing me based on his schedule. I didn't respond because I was genuinely busy. But now I finally did w that

Him: You have a lot of power Jen. He wasn't sure? Yeah, I've tried that one in the past too. The reason I said it was because I wanted her to tell me that it didn't matter whether I wasn't sure or not, I should be available to her whenever she wanted. You probably have guys lining up now.

I don't know how familiar you are with the whole thing, but do you know that some girls make a lot of money out of this?

Me: I'm not interested in money. It is helping me find my voice.

Him: Yep, I understand that, and I wasn't suggesting that you should be looking for money from it. I just meant that, there are girls making money from it, because the guys are willing to pay it to be treated in a particular way. I actually have a lot of respect for you for how open minded about the whole thing you were, and trust me, a lot of people feel the same way after seeing your article.

Me: Yay life!

Him: You may not be familiar with the phrase 'topping from the bottom' - if not, you may find this an interesting read in your journey - http://voices.yahoo.com/dominance-submission-explaining-topping-the-654712.html

Me: That's exactly what he is doing. Thank u

With that epiphany I quickly realized what I had to do. I popped back on my iPhone and sent this email ...

I then decided for me to fully adapt to the "character" I had to dissociate to step outside of my own boundaries and FULLY step outside of my own comfort zone. Again, I am all for jelly beans and free love - the notion of me being a bitch like this in my personal life is COMPLETELY foreign.

So, I shall from this point on be referred to as Mistress Jennifer in this space.

His next assignment is going to be getting me a pair of shoes I can wear when I walk all over him, and a riding crop built to properly punish him when he's been a bad boy.

It's fascinating though how much you just have to LET GO in this space. There is no right, or wrong - I can't stop half way through and ask for directions ... like I did with starting this business I just have to listen to my gut, drown out all of the previous domestication and unleash my animal.

PUUUURRRRRR ... Mistress Jennifer is on the prowl and YOUR SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET OWNED!! BOOM!!

<tangent> When in full dom mode, do not speak to people outside of the fetish world. After sending those emails I was still sending work emails and let's just say ... I was more "curt" than usual. HAHAHA AMAZING!!! </tangent>