#Romeo: I texted him this morning, and this was his response ...
Alrite, so per my post yesterday, I told ya'll that I'd be texting Romeo this morning to say howdy and to see if we can have a chat.
See, you have to be INCREDIBLY subtle as a female when it comes to "wanting to have a chat" with dudes. I couldn't send Romeo a text asking to "chat" because it would freak him the fuck out. Guys never ever want to have a "chat" and in fact "I want to have a chat" are the 6 words a female should never say to a dude.
Guys freak the fuck out when you say that. They want to know now, so they can get over it and move on. Very very very matter of fact.
I then strategically decided this was the best course of action ...
Romeo and I do drink alcohol, but the "shared air space" option allows for room in case he's genuinely tired and maybe doesn't want to go out, but wouldn't mind kicking it. (This is fine btw for chicks over 25 and dudes over 30. Anything younger and you run the risk of just being a FWB - friend with benefit. The shared air space option only works when you've known someone for a while and are genuinely friends outside of anything sexual.)
A few hours later I got this response ...
Second time in a week he's turned me down. I get it ... I get it ...BUUUTTT what stuck out the most to me was the word "overwhelmed." Romeo is WAY more emotional than I am, which is honestly what makes us a good fit. I will always be the one to do whatever has to get the fuck done, and he's the one that reminds me to stop and take a look around every once in a while. It's friggen adorable he gets SO EXCITED to take me places that he enjoys and I've never been to.
It's a good balance, and the one thing that I learned about my adventures in OkCupid-ness - dating yourself is bullshit. I'm not very emotional, but he is, so he helps me appreciate the little things.
It works, but either way - this text back is pretty much a load of bullshit. There's absolutely absolutely absolutely no doubt in my mind that his production schedule is prolly nuts right now (he works in TV) - but you're preaching to the choir. There are 86,400 seconds in the day, and it's all about how you allocate your time and maximize it for efficiency. Again, I'm not doubting that he's busy with work, but I have a hunch he is more overwhelmed with our scenario than anything else. Either way though, dudes have to have their work on lock before they can ever entertain the notion of dating a chick - so if this is his jam, rock on! I've had 8 years of this shit, and while he is one of my best friends if he wants me, he's gonna have to come and get me. I'm not going to chase him anymore than two requests to kick it and now being denied twice.
All you can do in cases like this is 1) keep dating and 2) work on yourself. Today, I had a WONDERFUL session with my Modern Day Shaman @realityadjacent and all I can do right now is the self work that for the last 8 months has gotten me into a much healthier place from a relationship perspective.
Life is reflective nerderinos .... keep doing you, and let the rest fall into place. Now excuse please, but I have some dates to plan for the rest of this week!! =)