They're Talking Nerdy Baby: #NerdsUnite (Romeo)
You're right! I chose that name when I was writing about him because he was my first love but it was horribly tragic in my eyes that we were never able to work things out. (Again, moving back to LA to be with the mentalist instead of him was my only regret in life.)
HOWEVER, after last week - I'm genuinely just over all of it. His response to me speaking my personal truth COMPLETELY turned me off. (He said he hadn't even read all of it, and that it sounded like I was on a ledge somewhere. I'll prolly eventually publish what I sent him - I'm just not ready yet.)
I've said this before and I'll say it again - I do not. do not. do not. believe in the concept of a "one." I think there are a handful of guys out there that come into our lives when we are ready for them, and based on our own place energetically we choose accordingly. I'm SUUUCCHHHH a different person than the 19 year old that met Romeo my second week in LA. Am I idealizing our situation because it never came to fruition? Maybe. Either way, it's still my truth and I told him FLAT OUT that I was ready for more with my life and that I was done with dating. I'll always always always love Romeo and sure he drives me up a fucking wall, but it's my wall to be driven nuts up! He's got a special place in my heart and should a chick ever break his heart I'll break her legs. Period end of sentence.
It was very difficult to deal with, especially so publicly. I'm PAINFULLY optimistic so I will always look for a happy ending, but I believe the happy ending in this is not our happily ever after but that for ONCE in my life I told someone EXACTLY how I felt in the MOMENT that I felt it - and then STOOD by it when I was getting criticized for feeling that way.
Well done, Friel!
But thanks so so so much for reading everyone and for coming along this journey with me. I'm as clueless as the rest of you are, but the documentation of it all holds me accountable while allowing me to push myself at the same.
On THAT note, if you shall excuse me but the living room is calling and it's requested a one person dance party!! WHOOP WHOOP!!
"I get up, I walk, I fall down, meanwhile I keep on dancing!"