Fun with #OkCupid: 3 different emails ... 3 different responses

Apr 9

First up, if you haven't read my OKC profile - you can check it out over yonder. Might make some sense to the things guys reply to, haha. But for reals, these are all actual emails I've received recently, and my actual responses back to them. It is through this transparent experience that I hope you all can take away some knowledge on what works and what doesn't in the hopes of making your online dating experiences that much more fanschmastically awesome. YAYYYY ONLINE DATING YAYYY!!! K ... cool ... here we go ...

Frankly for any other chicakadee this is WAYYYY too forward, and something you should never EVER say to a chick. BUUUTTT considering I do take a lot of questions from guys on literally anything, I shall answer this one.

Actual Response: I personally prefer circumcised since I think they look "prettier." HOWEVER, sexually speaking it is easier to go down on a guy that is uncircumcised because he is MUCH more sensitive.

Hope that helps!! xo

Really? What in this is awkward??? I am on an online dating website, you are on an online dating website - WHAT IS AWKWARD?!?!?! This guy and I are only matched 59% and his lack of confidence is SUCH a fucking turn off. What WOULD have worked is if he pulled ONE SINGLE DETAIL from my profile and asked me to elaborate. There is NOTHING awkward about emailing someone online ... just fucking do it, man!!

Actual Reponse: None

Woooahh this dude is totally over thinking things. A chick never, ever, wants to hear all of this in the first email. "I have come to learn that the best approach is to go in with ZERO expectation?" Dudes, STOP TAKING ONLINE DATING SO FUCKING PERSONAL. Women are INNNUNNNNDDAAAATTEEDDDD with emails on these site every. single. day. The MEN have to be proactive, and the WOMEN are the ones that do the picking when it comes to online dating - period end of sentence. This is just a constant of the medium!! Yes you can sit there and complain, yes you can get your panties in a knot over the whole thing - but who fucking cares!! The guys that get this, and the guys that ACT upon it are the ones that are getting more dates. So you SHOULD have zero expectation when it comes to getting a response, always - BUT KEEP FREAKING TRYING!!

Zero pressure??? You are making my head hurt. Clearly this guy has yet to go out on a single online date. Oh dear god he needs help ...

Actual Response: Hey dude, thanks for reaching out. I'm personally not interested in dating you - but let me explain why ...

Dude, your email sucks. Never ever send an email like this again. Keep it short, concise, and to the point. Pick ONE SINGLE DETAIL from a chick's profile and ask her to elaborate. From that email you send, she will then look at your compatibility ranking and if it is high - she will THEN click on your profile, which will result in her either emailing you back or not. Use my profile as an example ... here is a good email you could send off of that:

Hey Jen!

Wow! quite the random life you have. I love Fight Club too! Have you read the book yet?

That email contains personality, conveys confidence, and genuinely doesn't suck.

More of that ... less of what you sent.

Best of luck out there!